


Heart of Ice

by SnowyEars (lyraonyx)



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alpha Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted rape of a minor, Child Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Incest, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Omega InuYasha (InuYasha), Pack Dynamics, Past Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, Trust Issues, dark themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:55:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26589238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyraonyx/pseuds/SnowyEars
Summary: A hundred years after the last battle, everyone Inuyasha loves is gone. When the isolation and grief becomes too much and Inuyasha can no longer go on, Sesshoumaru is there to save the only pack he has left, but the wounds of the past still bleed. Can Inuyasha ever learn to trust his brother and alpha, or is there too much dark history between them to move on?
Relationships: InuYasha/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Comments: 139
Kudos: 517





	1. All Alone

**Author's Note:**

> So... I debated on not posting this because, well, I'm not exactly used to writing for the fandom (and the ship is controversial, to say the least), but I'm gonna anyway. 
> 
> Just a note here, I have not watched every episode of this massive story and therefore might have a few details off, though I've devoured a lot of fanfic and done research online for the later parts of the series/manga. I tweaked canon a bit anyway. Call it artistic license.
> 
> I do not speak Japanese, but I did research the hell out of the words I did use. Some of them (shujin, for example) might not be 100% accurate, but I did try my best to choose the correct words and represent the culture as accurately as I could. Be gentle on me here, I'm still learning. 
> 
> Also, the boys as shown here are 140 years into the future after the last battle, so the humans they loved respectively have had a massive impact on their personalities. Inuyasha isn't so afraid and defensive of his heart, is much more mature, and also absolutely shattered by grief (all his humans are dead now). Sesshoumaru is less closed-off (but still aloof), devoted to Inuyasha (he's all Sess has left), and less judgmental of humans in general (hard not to be when he loved Rin as a daughter her entire life). So don't expect quite the same level of emotional dysfunction both boys demonstrate in canon (though they're both still kinda loveable idiots).
> 
> The series Inuyasha has some pretty dark themes to start with, so if you're bothered by that, you're probably in the wrong place. That said, the dark themes here are pretty bad in places though, with some approaching body horror level, so... yeah. Buckle up, Chuck.
> 
> Sess is top (alpha, obvs), but switching is mentioned at some point. I don't actually write it out, but fair warning.
> 
> A note about the graveside talking. I don't think Japanese usually do this (but I'm not sure). As far as I know, they use shrines mostly, but I figured with Inuyasha being hanyou, he wouldn't be able to safely access either human or youkai shrines. That doesn't leave him much other option than to talk/pray at her grave. So that's the reasoning here.
> 
> Okay, that's it (I think). Enjoy!

#  **Chapter 1**

##  _All Alone_

Gone. They were all gone. Kagome, Miroku, Sango—gone. Time never passed for the hanyou who loved them, but for his human friends, time was the enemy, the one lethal monster they could none of them defeat. 

Now, he stood at Rin's graveside and watched over her headstone. The humans from her village had gone as soon as the rains had come, but Inuyasha couldn't, wouldn't leave his vigil. He wove a chain of daisies in remembrance of the child he had once known, of the woman she had grown into, of the old crone, stooped with age and smiling still, as she tended her garden until her bones gave out, until her muscles refused to support her, until her heart beat its last. He laid his flowers at the top of the grave and stood guard. 

No scavenging youkai would make off with his niece, or close enough to it. 

Sesshoumaru. Where the hell was he? This was _his_ daughter they had laid to rest hours ago, when the sun was still high, yet he had never shown his face. Tch. Probably couldn't stand the scent of _human_ long enough even to pay his last respects.

Or maybe it was the scent of hanyou.

Inuyasha tucked his knees to his chest and wondered when Rin's daughter would go. The woman had become a miko like Kagome, but unlike Kagome, she hadn't given it up in exchange for love. Hikari had no children, no heirs. Inuyasha had none either other than Shippou, and Shippou had gone on to start a pack of his own years ago. Miroku's sons had passed away the year before, too, and his grandsons had never trusted youkai. Hikari was the last living remnant of a life that had crumbled to dust, and time would take her soon, too.

Gods. If only Shippou would come home, but losing everyone he loved had been too hard for the kit. He had returned to the youkai, and now lived among friends as ageless as himself, as well as his mate and three young kits. He had often tried to convince Inuyasha to come stay with them, but Inuyasha had never been welcome among youkai, and he didn't want to burden Shippou with his problems.

The truth was that no one had ever made a place for him but for this small band of humans he had loved with all of his being. Now, they were all dying, and he had nowhere left to call home.

He might as well stay here a while longer. He had nowhere else to be.

The wind shifted, and a familiar scent brushed across his senses. Lightning and forest and youki strong enough to send the air skittering away. 

Sesshoumaru. So he _was_ here, somewhere downwind and watching over Rin from afar. 

The thought hurt. He should be here. He shouldn't grieve alone, but what could Inuyasha do? His brother hated him.

Even a hundred years after Sou'unga, Inuyasha had never managed to heal the breach between his half-brother and himself. 

Then again, perhaps he hadn't tried hard enough. Ever since the day they had ended their final battle together, and Sesshoumaru had turned his back and walked away before Inuyasha could so much as speak his name, much less offer him his companionship, he hadn't dared try again. Three times a brokenhearted fool was three times too many.

Still, he couldn't ignore his half-brother, not today, not when the last human they had both loved had just left the world of the living. Sesshoumaru would likely leave as soon as Inuyasha approached, or perhaps choose another place to mourn, but if he did, at least Inuyasha could sleep knowing he had done all he could.

The hanyou stood and brushed off his hakama, not that it did much good. The rain had soaked through his fire rat robe, and it clung to his body like a second skin. A cold, wet second skin. No matter. He had survived colder and wetter nights.

Nights Sesshoumaru had abandoned him to endure alone. It would serve the ass right if Inuyasha turned him away and let him drown in grief and the rain.

But he couldn't. He just couldn't abandon his brother, even if Sesshoumaru deserved it. Gods, he was such a stupid little fool. Sesshoumaru would hate him even more if he knew.

Fuck it. Inuyasha didn't even care any longer. What did his pride matter when he had lost everything and everyone he had ever loved?

He tracked the scent to the west. The trees? Hm. Sesshoumaru had taken note of at least one of Inuyasha's tricks, then. 

He brushed that thought aside. It didn't matter. If he brought it up, Sesshoumaru would only leave. And, pathetic as it was, Inuyasha couldn't bear the thought of facing this night alone.

Perhaps if he stayed silent, Sesshoumaru would stay. At least for a little while.

With that thought in mind, Inuyasha settled with his back to a tree near his aniki's hiding place. 

The scent of youki and lightning stayed until dawn.

* * *

Hikari's funeral garnered less fanfare than Rin's. The miko had been well-loved, but Rin had earned fame through her would-be father. To Inuyasha, they both left voids in his heart that would never heal.

He stayed by her grave until the scent of lightning made his nose twitch. Sesshoumaru? He had come to Hikari's burial? Inuyasha hadn't realised he cared for her at all. Did he view the miko as a granddaughter? Hikari had never spoken of him, but then, perhaps she had been trying to spare Inuyasha unnecessary pain.

All of his humans had stopped speaking of Sesshoumaru near the hanyou in the end. Even Rin.

Unable to resist his curiosity, Inuyasha made his way into the trees after his brother's scent. A swath of white between the branches announced the youkai's presence. Unlike Inuyasha's tendency to crouch among the branches, Sesshoumaru stood tall and silent, impassive. Inuyasha might have thought the youkai hadn't seen his approach if he didn't know damn well his brother simply couldn't be bothered to care. 

Inuyasha debated on challenging him, on asking why the hell he had bothered to come to see off a human he couldn't have cared less about, but the need for company and peace won out.

He wouldn't disrespect Hikari's burial with his injured pride and deep-seated anger. Instead, he simply sat with his back against Sesshoumaru's tree and said nothing. He had nothing to say that would interest such an elitist asshole anyway.

Neither demon moved until the moon dropped below the trees. 

"Silence suits you, hanyou."

Inuyasha scowled. "Yeah? Well, I think I like you better silent, too."

"This Sesshoumaru cares not what you like."

Inuyasha huffed out a bitter laugh. "I've noticed." He drew his knees to his chest again. "Not tonight, Sesshoumaru. Just… not tonight. Please. I only wanted—gah. Why am I bothering? You'll only stab me in the back the moment I reveal my weaknesses. Fine." He stood and brushed off his hakama. "Fine. Have your silence and your dirty-hanyou-free existence." He jerked a hand across his face before the tears stinging his lids dropped. "It's nothing I'm not used to by now anyway."

He stalked away, and couldn't decide if the fact that his brother didn't stop him relieved him or dug his wounds deeper.

* * *

Miroku's youngest grandson went quietly in the night, unlike the week-long battle between life and death that had claimed his cousin ten years before. Inuyasha borrowed from Sesshoumaru's tricks to watch the burial from the trees. Tomiichi had never trusted him, and neither did his village. They would only run him out with torches and pitchforks if he came too close, or worse—call in the slayers. Tomiichi himself might have led the charge had he the strength.

And yet, Inuyasha couldn't let the passing of the last human who had ever known him as more than a demon pass unnoticed. He watched until the last of the villagers trekked back to their huts, then slipped to the grave like a ghost. 

"You probably don't want me here, Tomi," Inuyasha murmured, "but I loved you anyway. Even if you hated me." He gave a bitter laugh. "Nothing new, yeah? I guess I'm used to being hated."

He sighed and put his dark thoughts aside. Later, he would try to process his grief and his place in the world. This moment was to honour Tomiichi's memory.

He bowed his head and prayed at the graveside. Did the gods listen to demons? To hanyous, who belonged to neither world? Either way, he offered a prayer for a peaceful rest on the other side and for his ancestors to watch over the last human he had considered part of his pack. Miroku and Sango, perhaps, would hear him, even if the gods had never listened to his prayers. 

If Inuyasha could wield the tensaiga, what would he see now? Perhaps the spirits of his loved ones watching over him?

Worrying? Delaying their rest because he couldn't live on without a home, without the love they had given so freely?

Kami, he didn't like that thought.

"Oi, if you lot are hovering over me and crying, cut it out, will ya? I'm fine." His voice wavered. "F-fine. Just, don't. Don't waste your time worrying over me."

He held the flower chain he had brought for Tomiichi over the man's headstone. A foolish ritual, perhaps, but he had made one for all his scattered pack since Rin's death. This would be the last one he placed. The last time he mourned.

He should have rejoiced at the thought. No more loss. No more tears. 

But it meant he would never know love or companionship again either.

Maybe there truly was no place in this world for a hanyou.

"Rest peacefully, Tomi."

He let the flower chain fall and ran into the trees once more. The scent of lightning and youki never reached his senses.

* * *

A decade passed in bitter solitude for Inuyasha. He wandered the isles much like his brother, exterminating cruel youkai for the humans they preyed upon and protecting innocent demons from the cruel demon slayers who made no distinction between tiny kitsune kits and soul-eating monsters. It gave him some sense of purpose, walking the line between the worlds, but the hollowness of his existence took its toll. By the end of ten years, he had grown as cold and silent as his youkai brother. 

_'Heh. Wonder what Sesshoumaru would think of me now.'_

He snorted to himself and went on wandering. Sesshoumaru would see nothing, care for nothing but his hanyou blood. Inuyasha wished he could accept it and move on, wished the knowledge didn't still hurt him centuries down the line, but that wound had never stopped bleeding. Maybe it never would.

* * *

It took another ten years for Inuyasha's spirit to finally break, for the burden of grief and isolation and hatred to crush him under its weight, but no one could endure such pain forever. Not even Ice King Sesshoumaru could survive forever with no one at all.

He collapsed on his knees in a field somewhere outside the western lands. Tessaiga dropped from his hand and transformed into a rust-eaten piece of shit. Heh. Even his sword couldn't function properly alone. 

He dropped his head and waited. Some opportunistic youkai would smell his despair eventually and do him the favour of ending his pain.

At least in death, he wouldn't be alone.


	2. Cracked Armor

#  **Chapter 2**

##  _Cracked Armor_

A familiar scent crossed Sesshoumaru's sensitive nose. The scent of the earth after the rain and more strength than any half-breed had any right to. Inuyasha, but something about his scent was off. Darker. Almost rancid. 

His human night? Sesshoumaru glanced to the sky and frowned at the crescent moon hanging above the trees. Not the scent of human then. What was it? 

Unable to squelch his curiosity, the youkai lord tracked his brother's scent until he stood some distance downwind. A red and silver figure knelt unmoving in the moonlight, Tessaiga lying uselessly in the dirt. By the look of him, he hadn't seen a bath—or perhaps even moved—for days. 

Raindrops spattered Sesshoumaru's hair. He paid them no heed other than to raise his youki as a shield against the downpour, youki Inuyasha should have sensed.

The figure didn't move. Even when rain soaked his lap and torso, the hanyou stayed frozen.

What in the world had gotten into him? Why did he not at least push his wet hair from his face? Why did he never even acknowledge Sesshoumaru's presence? It was infuriating to be so ignored. 

And painful. Had Sesshoumaru truly fallen so far in his little brother's regard to not even merit a backwards glance? 

He had thought they had come to some kind of truce after the battle with Sou'unga. Inuyasha had come to him during Rin and Hikari's burials, too, though he hadn't stayed long for the latter.

_"Why am I even bothering? You'll only stab me in the back…."_

Why? Sesshoumaru hadn't wanted to hurt Inuyasha in nearly a century and a half. He hadn't understood why Inuyasha had said those words then and he didn't understand this distance now. This silence.

_"Silence suits you."_

He had only wanted Inuyasha to speak. To say something. This—this quietness, this coldness, it didn't belong to his fiery, untameable brother.

Inuyasha had always been there when Sesshoumaru looked back, always at his heels, always in his shadow. Whether the boy had been spoiling for a fight or trying to pretend he didn't need his aniki's attention, he had always been there. 

It was wrong, wrong and unnerving, to look back at Inuyasha and find only silence and a shadow in his wake. 

Unbidden, a thought crossed his mind. _'Is this what Inuyasha felt every time I walked away?'_

An uncomfortable squirming sensation writhed in his belly. Indigestion? No, demons didn't suffer such foibles. It could only be guilt. 

Had he done this? Had he taken the fire from Inuyasha's spirit and rendered him as cold and still as the demon lord himself?

A new scent reached his nostrils. Youkai, a spider type. A mid-class level, nothing Inuyasha couldn't handle with his eyes closed. 

Inuyasha remained still. If not for the slight line of tension in his shoulders and a faint scent of revulsion in his youki—none of them would ever look at spider youkai the same way after Naraku—Sesshoumaru might have thought he hadn't noticed its approach. 

"What have we here?" A grating voice scratched at Sesshoumaru's sensitive ears. "A canine hanyou, hm? Lost your way?"

Inuyasha's ear flicked. He gave no other sign of having heard.

"Ah, the scent of utter despair. It's been so long since I tasted such undiluted misery."

Sesshoumaru clenched his fist around bakusaiga. _'Despair? Is that the problem in his scent?'_

Finally, Inuyasha spoke. "Then spare me your idiotic babbling and hurry it up."

 _'Hurry up?'_ The words relieved Sesshoumaru. A fight. Yes, a fight would bring back Inuyasha's fire.

Only… all Sesshoumaru's guard demons had reported to him that Inuyasha had never _stopped_ fighting. By all their reports, he walked the line between worlds, protecting innocents on both sides of the fence. Sesshoumaru might have hated him all over again for his attacks on youkai, some from his own kingdom, had he not known Inuyasha only attacked the lowlifes among them. The criminals. The soul-stealers, who threatened both human and youkai. Those who preyed on innocents. 

Inuyasha had saved so many demons, too. Younglings and elderly, injured demons too weak to fight off their attackers, innocent civilians who had lost their way only to learn life outside the Western Kingdom was far more brutal than the stories told. Many of his citizens lived on in peace thanks to this shattered scrap of hanyou kneeling in the dirt.

Inuyasha wasn't spoiling for a fight, so what did he want to hurry along? Perhaps he only wanted to kill the beast quickly and return to his peaceful introspection?

But Inuyasha hadn't lifted his sword. He hadn't even lifted his head. The spider youkai was close enough to strike, and Inuyasha still knelt in the dirt, Tessaiga abandoned at his side. 

"Make it quick," the hanyou muttered. "Don't care what you do with me when it's over. Just don't drag it out."

The spider demon, a mass of black legs and red eyes and venomous fangs, paused. "Hm. Since you offer yourself so freely, I suppose I can grant your last wishes."

The spider raised a clawed foot to slash his head off. Inuyasha bowed his head, stiffened his shoulders, and released a shuddering breath. Fear tainted his scent, but also….

 _Relief_. 

And it hit Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha wanted to die. This wasn't simply despair, it was suicide.

Sesshoumaru darted forward and jerked bakusaiga from its sheath. The spider's claw dropped, but met his blade rather than Inuyasha's neck. 

"Argh! Who—? I'll kill you for that, insolent wretch."

Sesshoumaru gave the demon an impassive glance. "You may try."

The spider demon froze. "M-my lord? What—you're defending a worthless hanyou?"

Inuyasha gave no sign he had heard other than to turn his face away. Sesshoumaru hated it.

"I am defending my _otouto_ , yes."

Inuyasha gave a bitter snort. "Figures."

"Peace, Inuyasha."

Perhaps it was the gentleness of his tone, perhaps the careful stroke against Inuyasha's sopping hair, but, for once, his brother didn't challenge him. Sesshoumaru hoped it was his display of concern that rendered his brother still and silent and not further despair.

"Your—Kami, _this_ is Inuyasha?" The spider shuddered and skittered back. "The hanyou who—?"

"Defeated Naraku, yes. With help." Sesshoumaru traced the back of a wet, furry ear, and Inuyasha gasped at the touch.

"A-aniki?"

Sesshoumaru hated the look of fear and confusion in his brother's eyes. The overwhelming scent of distrust. Surely he couldn't hate him _this_ much to choose death by a lowly spider youkai over his oniisan's touch.

"I told you once, only this Sesshoumaru will decide when you are to die, otouto."

A cold, bitter laugh escaped the boy. "Oh, now _that_ makes more sense. No, you wouldn't want _competition_ , now would you?" 

The spider fled, limping on one side, and Inuyasha snorted. "Well, here you are then, _aniki_. A free shot at the filthy hanyou and Tessaiga, all yours for the taking. I won't even fight back. It must be like a wet dream for you, yeah?"

Sesshoumaru stared, bemused. "This Sesshoumaru does not have such dreams."

"Of course not. You're a cold son of a bitch, aren't you? Bet you don't even get stiff in the morning."

Sesshoumaru might have blushed if he were inclined to it and Inuyasha's strange behaviour hadn't left him so cold inside. 

"This Sesshoumaru does not like this."

Inuyasha huffed. "Why not? You have the filthy hanyou on his knees at last. You can finally remove the stain from father's noble lineage."

"If I wanted to kill you, you would be dead."

"Oh, right. I forgot. I'm only alive by your _grace_." 

The scent of salt in the air twisted Sesshoumaru's heart. 

"Bullshit," Inuyasha spat. "I'm alive because I fought to be. I fought the darkness, the cold, the hunger. I fought the youkai who saw me as an easy snack and the humans who saw me as a scourge upon their perfect life. I fought and loved and fought again when death stole them all, and I won. But you know what? It means _nothing_. Everything I did, everything I fought for—it's meaningless now."

Tears ran down his face, and Inuyasha did nothing to hide them. "In the end, you were right. I'm nothing but a filthy hanyou, too close to a youkai to have a place with the humans, too much of a human to belong with the youkai. And I—I'm tired. I'm tired of having nowhere to go, no pack, no hope."

He gave his brother a look full of terrible pain. Such stark agony burned in his eyes, even Sesshoumaru's eyelids stung at the sight of him, the scent of his tears, his misery.

"Please, onii-sama. If you ever had any compassion for me at all, if I ever meant anything to you, or even if I didn't, please, just end it. Take Tessaiga. Take my head and mount it as a trophy. Use my blood to feed the cattle, or just leave me to rot. I don't even care anymore. Just… end it. Please."

"No." It came out as a lethal whisper. "I refuse."

Inuyasha gave a tear-thick, manic laugh. "I should have known. Won't even dirty your sword with my blood, yeah? Can't even grant me an honourable death, can you?" His voice broke in a sob. "F-fine! I'll do it myself!"

Sharp claws and pain-maddened eyes glinted in the moonlight. Inuyasha lifted his hand and tilted his chin back, vulnerable white flesh bared and primed for the strike, and horror gripped Sesshoumaru's soul. Inuyasha's arm dropped with lethal speed—

And Sesshoumaru suppressed a flinch as four deadly-sharp claws raked deep furrows into his shoulders. 

"No," he said, voice firm. "No. I will not allow you to die."


	3. Dark Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the chapter title didn't make it obvious, the dark themes start here. Consider yourself warned.

#  **Chapter 3**

##  _Dark Truths_

Sesshomaru held his brother's hands and refused to let go. No. Damned if he would allow inu royal blood to be spilled so callously. His _brother's_ blood. Inuyasha gasped and jerked back, but Sesshoumaru only gripped the struggling hanyou into his arms and pinned him against his chest.

"Inuyasha. Otouto, stop."

Inuyasha cried out, a scream of fury and anguish. " _Why_? Why will you not even let me _die_ to end my pain?"

Sesshoumaru curled his hand around Inuyasha's head and brought him close. The hanyou bit his shoulder, but he ignored the pain and the smell of his own blood. He would heal fast enough. If he left Inuyasha now, the boy would shatter and never be whole again, and that only if he survived the night.

"Otouto, shh. I am here."

Inuyasha shuddered. "Let go."

"No."

"Please. I can't—don't do this to me, aniki. I can't endure any more pain."

Sesshoumaru had never acted on his pack instincts—he had never had a canine pack to protect—but with his brother breaking to pieces in his arms, he denied them no longer. A soft growl rumbled in his throat, more like a purr than anything. He breathed in his brother's scent; the scorched-iron odor of agony tainted it and hurt Sesshoumaru more than his wounded shoulders, but he breathed him in anyway. Soft licks to the boy's ears, all he could reach, made the hanyou whine and stiffen in his arms.

"A-aniki, please, don't."

But Sesshoumaru refused to let him die. He huffed softly against Inuyasha's ear and lapped at the soft skin, the furred back.

"A-aniki! _Sesshoumaru_!"

Inuyasha pushed at Sesshoumaru's chest, desperate to escape, but Sesshoumaru wouldn't stop. Not until the scent of pain faded. He held the boy's head into his throat and licked his anguish away.

Then, Inuyasha gave a strangled whine, and Sesshoumaru realized why the boy had resisted him so strongly. The sharp scent of physical arousal and shame flooded his nostrils, and this time, Sesshoumaru did blush. 

Damn. He hadn't intended to do _that_.

He left off the boy's ears and released his head, at least enough to allow Inuyasha to look up. Sesshoumaru licked at his cheeks and chin instead, cleaning tears and rain from his face with gentle laps against his skin.

"A-aniki, what in the name of the Kami are you _doing_ to me?"

"Healing you. Be still."

Inuyasha winced. "Please, please. It's… you're my _brother_."

Sesshoumaru huffed. "It is a pack instinct in inuyoukai."

Inuyasha stilled, finally. "Pack?"

"Yes, _otouto_." 

"But… you hate me."

"This Sesshoumaru has not hated you for a hundred and forty years, Inuyasha. I tried to show you."

Anger surged through the boy, and if Sesshoumaru hadn't just bared his heart and vulnerable spots to Inuyasha, he might have been relieved to see it.

"Tried—tried to _show me_? By _what_? Not gouging my guts out with your claws? Oh yes, thank you so much for not trying to _murder me_ in the past century or so. _Obviously_ , I should have realized that's a sign of pure love from the ice king himself, but I guess I'm just a stupid hanyou after all, huh? Fuck you!"

Inuyasha grabbed Tessaiga and stalked away, but this time, Sesshoumaru wouldn't let him leave. He followed his brother into the trees and flew beside him when Inuyasha tried to evade him in the branches.

After a while, the boy finally turned and screamed, "What? What the hell do you _want_ from me? An apology? Fine! I'm sorry my filthy hanyou claws dirtied your royal ass. I'm sorry I wasn't born the right way. I'm sorry I was never—never enough for you. Or—or for anyone now." 

The scent of salt filled the air again, and Inuyasha's fury crumbled into desperate grief and misery. 

"There now. I've officially humiliated myself before you in every way possible. You even fucking made me hard, and _that_ will fuck me up for the next century or so whether I live long enough to spend it this side of the afterlife or not. Are you happy now? You've broken me down. You _win_. Is that what you wanted? Congratulations, you've got it now."

A strange wetness trailed down Sesshomaru's face. Blood? But nothing had struck him, had it? He brushed the liquid onto his fingers and stared at the clear drops on his claws. The scent of salt was much stronger now.

Tears. He hadn't wept since he was young, when their father left him all alone to take up with a human. He looked up to meet his brother's eyes and found him staring, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"A-aniki?"

Sesshoumaru let his hand fall. "I think it is obvious I am not happy in your suffering."

Inuyasha gave a strangled whimper and turned away, hands over his face. The salt tang on the air grew strong enough to choke him, and Sesshoumaru dared rest a gentle hand on Inuyasha's shaking shoulders.

"Otouto, come home."

Inuyasha whimpered. "I don't have a home. Not anymore."

Sesshoumaru wrapped his arms around Inuyasha from behind and rested his head on the boy's shoulder. "You do. Come home with me."

Inuyasha shuddered. "Why? Why—I don't understand."

Sesshoumaru made that soothing sound in his throat again and licked Inuyasha's cheek. The taste of tears made him whine a little, and Inuyasha trembled hard. He didn't pull away this time, so Sesshoumaru kept up his grooming until the tension eased out of Inuyasha's frame. Tentative, shaking hands lowered to rest on Sesshoumaru's, and the youkai lord gave a low rumble of approval. 

Inuyasha slowly began to respond as a beta canine would to their alpha, much to Sesshoumaru's relief. Soft whines against his ears, gentle finger strokes against Sesshoumaru's hands. Sesshoumaru encouraged his attention with a nuzzle against his cheek and set about cleaning the other side of Inuyasha's face. 

By the time he finished, Inuyasha was leaning against him, throat bared and ears flat against his head. Sesshoumaru nuzzled his ears but avoided licking them. Instead, he brushed his fangs against Inuyasha's throat, a display of dominance, yes, but also of intent to protect rather than harm. Inuyasha tensed, but did not reject him. It was enough for now. He licked the boy's throat and under his chin, easing his fear, and Inuyasha relaxed into his arms again.

Sesshoumaru murmured, "Come home, otouto."

"But why?"

"Because you belong there. Because you are the only pack I have left. Because I am the only pack you have left. Because… I want you to."

Inuyasha's breath rushed against Sesshoumaru's forehead. "You—you do? But I'm just—just a dirty hanyou, and—"

Sesshoumaru growled at another wave of salt in his nostrils. He licked the offending moisture away and nuzzled Inuyasha's ears again.

"No more tears, otouto. Remember me. I do not touch others without reason."

Inuyasha gave a little whine of pain and relief and turned into Sesshoumaru. He buried his head under Sesshoumaru's chin and hid more tears against his skin, but at least he was crying _in_ Sesshoumaru's arms this time rather than struggling to escape or understand why his alpha cared. 

Sesshoumaru eased his claws through that tangled mane and stroked Inuyasha's ears, marveling at the softness of his fur. "You are not alone."

Inuyasha gave into his canine instincts and released a howl of desperate pain into the night. The sound broke something in the older youkai. He whined against Inuyasha's hair and licked tears and grief away, anything to stop that terrible keening. 

"Inuyasha, I am here."

Inuyasha cried, "Yes, _now_ you are. What about the past three-hundred years, hm? Three-hundred years on my own— _why_? Why did you turn me away, over and over? How can you expect me to just… _trust_ you now, when all my life, all I've ever seen of you is your claws and your back? How _dare_ you ask me to come home now, when—when I've never had a place with you either? How da—"

Sesshoumaru whined again and licked Inuyasha's lips to stop his painful words. Inuyasha choked and stared at him, eyes wide. "Did—did you just _kiss me_?"

"If it stops you screaming out in pain." Sesshoumaru licked the bump in the middle of Inuyasha's top lip, and the boy squealed and leaned back. 

"O-onii-sama, have you gone mad? We're _brothers_."

Sesshoumaru stared. "We are _pureblood_ brothers. How, precisely, do you imagine that came about?"

Inuyasha flushed. "But—fuck! What are you _saying_ , Sesshoumaru?"

"Only that your disgust is a human trait. We are strengthened by keeping family ties close, not weakened."

Inuyasha shuddered. "For Kami's sake, you sound like you're coming on to me!"

Sesshoumaru blinked. "By explaining youkai blood traits and asking you to come home?"

Inuyasha paused. "You—you aren't asking for… more?"

"If I wanted more, I would simply take it."

Inuyasha whimpered, pure fear in his voice. "No-no-no! No! That is _not_ a thing you can take without consent!"

Sesshoumaru frowned at his terror, then realised what his words must have meant to his untrained brother.

"Otouto, no." He whined and nudged his head under Inuyasha's chin, seeking his forgiveness. "I did not intend to imply I would ever take you against your will."

Inuyasha squeaked, "It s-sure as hell sounded that way. And I'm not sure I could defend myself against you if you really…." His distressed whimper cut Sesshoumaru to the heart.

"Inuyasha, peace. I only meant I would court you directly, not bother with oblique gestures and hidden meanings. Otouto, shh. I am not so dishonorable as _that_."

Inuyasha breathed out harshly, panting and shaking in his arms. Sesshoumaru licked his chin and cheeks and whined until the boy finally relaxed in his arms. 

"Don't ever do that to me, aniki," Inuyasha said in a shaky voice. "I—it hurts too damn much. Long after the physical pain is gone."

A wave of quiet horror rushed through the youkai lord. "Inuyasha. You sound as though you speak from experience."

Anger crackled under his brother's skin. "Yeah? And what did you _think_ would happen when you kicked your _twelve-year-old_ brother onto the streets, _aniki_? Did you imagine the bigger, stronger, older youkai and humans took one look at my inu ears and said, 'oh, that one comes of royal blood, I shouldn't _fuck him until he bleeds_?'"

Sesshoumaru blanched and clutched his brother tighter. "Otouto, I—"

"Shut up! No excuse is good enough! Do you want to know how I learned that male hanyou can carry young? _Do you_? I learned when I miscarried triplets at _thirteen-fucking-years-old_!"

Sesshoumaru reeled. Omega. Kami help him, his hanyou brother was _omega_. And Sesshoumaru had abandoned him to fend for himself right when his heats would have begun. He had abandoned his tiny brother who loved him, even now, to fight off the hordes of youkai his scent would have drawn and try to survive alone. 

The fact that Inuyasha had lived at all, let alone grown so strong and independent, was a miracle. 

Another sharp wave of salt scent cut the air, and like before, it took Sesshoumaru a moment to realize it didn't come from his brother.

"I-Inuyasha…."

The boy snarled and threw him off. "Go! Just go! Abandon me to fight for myself! It's what you do best."

He raced away at top speed, but Sesshoumaru had finally learned from his mistakes. Even if it took decades to bring his brother home, he would never abandon him to suffer without his alpha again.


	4. Crime and Punishment

#  **Chapter 4**

##  _Crime and Punishment_

The leaves had turned red and orange and the heat had turned chilly, but Inuyasha still hadn't managed to lose his older brother. Figured. Never there when Inuyasha wanted him to be, when he _needed_ him, but now that Inuyasha was strong, capable, and independent—and pissed the fuck off at his brother—he couldn't shake the bastard. 

He had had about enough.

He woke from a dream of his dark past, the past Sesshoumaru had abandoned him to, and jerked up with a gasp. He still felt them, cruel, clawed hands crawling all over him, touching places they had no right to be. False affection, gentle touches to his ears, his hair, all designed to convince him the alphas tearing him apart cared about him, designed to make him see the worth of submitting to a powerful youkai. Because all omegas should be grateful to have a cock shoved in them—whether they wanted it or not—according to the assholes who broke him. Because omegas were just convenient holes and broodmares to the youkai who let their dicks lead them by the nose.

_"Submit, pretty puppy, and you can have this every night."_

Fuck that! Fuck it all! Inuyasha would sooner die than submit himself to some sex-crazed, hormone-driven, megalomaniacal alpha bastard. He didn't need anyone to order him, and he sure as hell didn't need any twisted bastard who thought Inuyasha should _enjoy_ being raped simply because he had the capacity to bear young.

Fuck alphas. Including the elitist bastard shadowing him as if his mere scent would eventually be enough to cow Inuyasha to his dominion. No. Goddamn it, _no_. He had never willingly submitted a day in his life, never let himself be vulnerable before anyone but his mate and his dearest friends, and he had only let them in because they never tried to dominate him. 

Well, Kagome did use those damned prayer beads, but after Naraku, all that had changed. Inuyasha had finally opened up and told her why he hated it, why her control over him scared the shit out of him and made it difficult to trust her, and a guilt-stricken Kagome had immediately removed the necklace and shattered it. That was the day he had finally agreed to be her mate.

But Sesshoumaru? That dick would never admit he was wrong, let alone give Inuyasha the freedom to _choose_ if he wanted some cocky alpha lording it over him. All the tears, the kisses that night, the gentle touches, they had been a ruse to make him drop his guard. Sesshoumaru was no different from any other alpha who decided Inuyasha belonged to them and his own opinions were irrelevant. 

It infuriated Inuyasha that, for an instant that night, he had given in to it. He had let Sesshoumaru hold him while he mourned, trusted him with his grief, leaned into his strength and let it fool him. He had let himself be weak in front of a natural predator, and the strongest of the lot.

He had seen through it eventually, though. And he would never fall for that shit again. Sesshoumaru didn't mean a damn word. He just wanted a convenient hole to fuck and knock up like every other piece of alpha trash.

Gods, why did he _still_ feel their hands on him? He should have come to himself by now. Maybe fighting that foul lizard youkai yesterday had made the nightmares worse.

"Inuyasha, peace. You are safe now."

Or maybe it wasn't a nightmare at all.

Inuyasha ripped his eyes open and wheeled on the interloping bastard, teeth bared and youki raging. His voice came out in a rage-twisted snarl. 

"Get _off_ me! Get your nasty hands off me right fucking now!"

He had expected Sesshoumaru to keep touching him, to leer and tell him not to fight his nature. To try to convince him submission was _good_ for omegas, even with a piece of shit rapist alpha.

But Sesshoumaru jerked back, eyes wider than Inuyasha had seen them go since encountering their father at the battle of Sou'unga. 

_'Or since that night when I told him just what kind of hell he had abandoned me to.'_

The memory of salt-tinged horror weakened his fury, but he shoved it back with a vengeance. No. No, he would never let some bastard alpha twist his perception again. Not—not even now, when shock had faded into grief, and Sesshoumaru stepped away without a word. Not even when this particular alpha—none of whom had ever given a shit about Inuyasha and all of whom had taken what they wanted with no remorse—heeded Inuyasha's demands for space and left him to himself in the clearing.

A slight tinge of salt tainted the fading spell of lightning and youki. Inuyasha stared at the place his brother had stood a moment ago, sword shaking in his fist. Why hadn't Sesshoumaru pushed him? Why hadn't he forced himself on Inuyasha? Why hadn't he tried to coerce him into submission?

No. This had to be a trick. And goddamn it, Inuyasha wouldn't stand for it anymore. With a snarl, he raced after his brother and punched him in the shoulder. That Sesshoumaru didn't avoid the blow shocked him, but he recovered his stance in an instant. Maybe Sesshoumaru wasn't acting like any other alpha, but that didn't mean Inuyasha could trust him.

"What the hell do you _want_ , Sesshoumaru? Why are you still tagging along? Why won't you just—make fucking _sense_?" 

Sesshoumaru turned, golden eyes wary and—and rimmed in pink. What the hell?

"What would you have me do, Inuyasha?"

" _Leave_! Just—just turn your back and walk away like you always do! You're—I'm not fucking going to fall for your tricks, so you can just _go now_ and go back to all the other bitches who actually want to bow down to you!"

"This Sesshoumaru has not asked you to bow," the daiyoukai said, voice calm, but eyes full of hurt. "And I have no bitch. I have no pack but you."

"Bullshit! I ain't your bitch either, and fuck all if I'll let you make me be!"

"This Sesshoumaru has never asked you to be his bitch. This Sesshoumaru has not asked you to submit at all, not since you saved me from Naraku, and never as an alpha to an omega."

Inuyasha pulled up short. That—that was actually true. 

"Well then, what the fuck _are_ you after?"

Sesshoumaru's shoulders dropped a little. "Nothing I will ever find." He turned and walked away, but this time, Inuyasha wanted answers, damn it, and he would get them, so help him.

He leapt through the trees to land in front of his brother. It occurred to him that if Sesshoumaru wanted to escape, he damn well could, but Inuyasha pushed that thought away. He had to be after _something_. Sesshoumaru didn't care about him. He only ever showed his face when Inuyasha had something he wanted.

And Inuyasha had only one thing left, if Sesshoumaru honestly wasn't after his ass.

"So, I guess all that bullshit about working together was really just bullshit then?"

Sesshoumaru stared, waiting for an explanation.

"You ain't getting Tessaiga, so just forget it and leave!"

Sesshoumaru kept staring.

"What? I ain't gonna just hand it to you. You'll have to take it from my cold, dead corpse!"

Sesshoumaru sighed and turned away again, head down and shoulders heavy. He never answered Inuyasha's challenge.

Inuyasha growled and jumped in front of him again. "What? Follow me around for three months, but now that I'm finally trying to talk, you're walking away? Tch. Typical."

"You are not talking, Inuyasha. You are accusing me of things I have either never done or stopped doing over a century and a half ago. I would prefer not to hear it if this is truly your opinion of my honour."

"Why? Don't like the _truth_?" Inuyasha's voice broke. "Fucking selfish bastard! You—you don't care about me! This is all just some bullshit ruse to get what you want, but you ain't getting my ass, and you ain't getting my sword either, so just—just do what you're supposed to do and _leave already_!"

"I—" Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and lowered his head. "Kami. You are right."

Inuyasha jerked back and clutched his sword. "W-what? So you admit it? You're only after—"

"I have never made a secret of what I want, Inuyasha. If I wanted either your body or your sword, I would say so, but, nevertheless, you are correct that I have been selfish. All I have asked of you, all I want from you is a place in your life, but it was both selfish and exceedingly foolish of me to expect to find welcome with no consequences. After the two hundred years you wanted a place in my life and found only the ends of my claws and my back, as you so eloquently put it, your anger is justified."

What? Sesshoumaru had admitted his faults? His abandonment of Inuyasha? He admitted it was wrong? It couldn't be. It just—couldn't be. 

Tears stung Inuyasha's eyes, but he shoved them down relentlessly. "That—that's _bullshit_! It's all just lies to make me lower my guard! You—you don't mean a word. You're just like every other arrogant asshole alpha who thinks they can take what they want and to hell with everyone else. Well, you can't fucking have _me_! I won't bow, I won't submit, I won't bend over for you! _Ever_!"

Sesshoumaru stood still and silent. The only sign that he had heard at all was the faint tremor in his hands. Inuyasha paced in front of him and tugged at his hair.

"Just—for Kami's sake, stop trying to trick me! I ain't buying it! Just _leave_!"

Sesshoumaru's expression never changed, but the softness of his tone revealed more emotion than his face ever had. "No. That is one request I cannot grant. I have turned my back on you far too much as is. I will not abandon you again, whether you believe my loyalty to be a trick or not."

He looked up, and his eyes were more open, more raw than Inuyasha had ever seen. "I was wrong, Inuyasha. I hurt you, and I deserve my punishment. Hate me if you wish. Attack me if that is what it will take to heal. Take the other arm if you must. Regardless of whatever retribution you exact for my past sins, I will accept your wrath as well-earned, but do not ask me to turn my back on you again. I refuse."

Inuyasha blinked more tears back. It was a lie. All lies! It—it _had_ to be.

"You—you're full of it! You really expect me to believe you'd just sit there and take it, no matter what I decide you deserve? You expect me to believe you'll just stand there and let me cut off your sword arm? _Kill_ you? What if I decided you deserve to feel the _exact same pain_ you abandoned me to, huh? What if I decide you ought to bend over and take it from _me_?"

Sesshoumaru's shoulders trembled, and the color leached from his face. "I c-cannot believe you would choose such a barbaric method to punish me as to truly rape me. I have more faith in your honour than _that_." He dropped his head. "Perhaps it is well-deserved, however, given what my pride and arrogance cost you." A shudder crept across his shoulders. "I cannot promise I will not try to escape if the pain drives me from my senses, but I will not fight you."

"Bullshit! It—it's all bullshit!"

Sesshoumaru said nothing. Slowly, he sank to his knees, all his power banked. His entire body vibrated, and fear had turned his scent cold and dark, but he bowed his head anyway.

Lies—it had to be lies. He would never—he only wanted to force Inuyasha to drop his guard. At the last second, he would defend himself and take what he wanted. He would _never_ truly submit himself to Inuyasha's wrath. No alpha would.

And yet, Sesshoumaru didn't move. 

Well, then, maybe Inuyasha should call his bluff. He opened his mouth to tell the daiyoukai to bend over and reveal himself, but bile rose in his throat and choked off his words. No, Sesshoumaru wouldn't really take his punishment, but even for a game of chicken, Inuyasha couldn't lower himself to that level. He couldn't be so vile, not even to prove his ass of a brother wrong.

His sword, though, that he could stomach.

Inuyasha clenched his fist around Tessaiga and raised the blade. Sesshoumaru would fight now. He had to.

"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru said, voice steady despite his fear, "I will take my punishment, but for the sake of my kingdom, I ask that you spare my life. Should my mother take over, I fear the west will become a harsh land of cruel youkai and crueler rulers again."

"I ain't the kind of person to kill a man in cold blood." And Sesshoumaru kind of had a point. The west had done well under his rule. His bitch of a mother would ruin the place, no doubt of that.

"Arigatou."

Inuyasha snarled. "Enough! Enough of these games. You want punishment? Fine, take what's coming to you, asshole!"

He rushed the still figure with his guard high, knowing Sesshoumaru could turn his attack on him in an instant. He aimed for the youkai's right shoulder. Take his dominant arm—bullshit. Sesshoumaru would never allow it.

But Inuyasha's sword hit pale flesh and bone, and Sesshoumaru never moved. Inuyasha jerked Tessaiga back before he cut all the way through, horrified at the gaping wound showing through his brother's torn suikan and the pain on Sesshoumaru's face. The fear and gut-wrenching vulnerability.

And still, Sesshoumaru did not move or lift his head.

Fuck. _Fuck!_ The bastard wasn't bluffing. He really meant to take whatever punishment Inuyasha doled out. Even as blood poured down his suikan and obi, Sesshoumaru made no move to stem the flow or protect himself.

Guilt knocked Inuyasha to his knees before his brother.

"Why? Why didn't you stop me? Why aren't you fighting me now?"

Sesshoumaru's pain-dazed eyes met Inuyasha's own. "I am still a youkai of—of honor, if—if I have failed in everything else."

Inuyasha's rage vanished, washed away in a storm of guilt and remorse. Tears sprung to his eyes faster than he could force them back, and he jerked a hand across his face in effort to control himself. "I-idiot. You were supposed to stop me."

"I said I would—would not."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

With a sigh, Inuyasha helped Sesshoumaru out of his blood-soaked armor and clothes, then used his own haori to wrap the wound and pin Sesshoumaru's arm to his chest.

"Come on. There's a hot spring just a bit to the west. I'll help you clean yourself up."

Sesshoumaru frowned. "Why? It is just punishment, is it not? And hardly that. You would have been within your rights to kill me."

Inuyasha busied himself with gathering Sesshoumaru's clothes and weapons. The truth was some part of him still needed his aniki, even if he couldn't admit it. Still loved him in spite of everything.

Maybe he really was a weak little fool.

Cautious fingertips brushed Inuyasha's shoulder. "I am not trying to hurt you, Inuyasha. I am not here with any ulterior motive. You—you are all I have left, otouto, and I cannot abandon you and watch you die. I cannot lose you, too."

Inuyasha forced himself not to give in to the urge to turn into Sesshoumaru's arms and bleed out his pain like his brother bled for his guilt. No. Maybe Sesshoumaru wasn't the monster Inuyasha had made him out to be, but he still wasn't ready to forgive him yet. He couldn't trust him not to use his weaknesses against him.

Inuyasha jerked his shoulder out of reach. "I said I would help you take care of yourself. That doesn't mean I want you here."

Sesshoumaru sighed and let his hand fall. "I will not leave you, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha huffed. "Then follow me around if you gotta, but I ain't gonna be your bitch."

"I never said I wanted you to be."

Inuyasha slumped, defeated, at least in this. "I-I know." 

He hauled Sesshoumaru to his feet and half-carried him to the spring. Sesshoumaru didn't speak again, didn't reach out. Perhaps he was tired of fighting Inuyasha. Maybe he'd given up.

Yet the scent of youki and lightning, stained with blood and pain, never left his senses, even when Inuyasha turned his back and walked away. Like Sesshoumaru had always done to him. 

It was only what he deserved.

And yet, Inuyasha's nightmares featured Sesshoumaru on his knees, bleeding, and doing nothing to shield himself, for a long, long time.


	5. Out of the Ashes

#  **Chapter 5**

##  _Out of the Ashes_

Fall bled into winter, and Sesshoumaru still hadn't given up on following Inuyasha. The hanyou had just learned to ignore his presence for the most part. It was nothing more than the bastard deserved.

And yet, the scent of salt on the air as he fled that summer day, his refusal to defend himself last fall, the scent of his blood—it all still haunted Inuyasha's dreams. 

Why didn't he just leave? The jerk had Jaken to worry for, didn't he? And what about Ah-Un? Had he just abandoned them, too? It shouldn't surprise him. 

It did, though. A little. Sesshoumaru hadn't let them down before, so why would he leave them behind for so long now? Did Inuyasha really mean that much to him? 

Tch. Not a chance.

Inuyasha huffed and continued on his way toward the Goshinboku village. He hadn't visited in a long while, and time had made the memories that had once bled his soul turn nostalgic and grey. It still hurt. Losing them always would, but it no longer debilitated him.

He didn't want to consider why that might be. It certainly had nothing to do with the silent shadow haunting his steps.

Just outside the village, he called to his brother, fully aware he could hear every word despite the distance between them. "Shouldn't you go home soon, Sesshoumaru? Won't Jaken and Ah-Un be worried?"

The presence behind him drew up short. A scorched-metal scent crossed Inuyasha's senses—pain. Deep, dark pain. What? Why? Surely his aniki hadn't grown _that_ attached to him.

"Jaken and Ah-Un are dead, Inuyasha. I meant it when I said I have no pack left but you."

Inuyasha winced. "Shit." Remorse choked him. Sesshoumaru really didn't have anyone left, and Inuyasha had shut him down for months. Well, it was still kinder than Sesshoumaru had been to him, but….

But Inuyasha didn't want to be that cold. He didn't want to be the same kind of bastard Sesshoumaru had once been, and even Inuyasha could admit now that his brother had changed. 

Damn. Maybe he had been too hard on him. Either way, he couldn't hurt him this time. Not about _this_.

"Kami, I'm sorry, aniki. I didn't know."

Sesshoumaru appeared from the trees, and, for once, Inuyasha didn't scowl and dash away. The daiyoukai's expression was as blank as always, but the scorched-metal scent hadn't faded, and something like guilt darkened his eyes. 

"Sesshoumaru, what happened?"

Sesshoumaru looked away. "It is—not something I am prepared to discuss."

Inuyasha couldn't blame him, he supposed. He hadn't made it easy for Sesshoumaru to approach him, and the resentment in his spirit hadn't waned. Much. Still, he wouldn't leave him in pain either. 

Even if he kind of deserved it.

Inuyasha huffed and lifted halting fingers to rest on Sesshoumaru's shoulder. He still half expected a trick, but Sesshoumaru only watched him, eyes uncertain and afraid and full of pain. 

Eyes too damn much like Inuyasha's own.

Damn it. How was he supposed to keep hating Sesshoumaru when he looked at him like this? Maybe—maybe he shouldn't. Maybe it was time to let it go. Or at least make a start of it.

Cautiously, he rubbed the firm muscle under his fingers. A deceptively-delicate collarbone. The dip just above and the sloping curve of an elegant neck. 

Sesshoumaru only gave a quiet sigh and relaxed into his touch. He asked for nothing, demanded nothing, only accepted what little Inuyasha was able to give. 

The wall between them cracked. Inuyasha lifted his other hand to the opposite side, the shoulder he had damn near cut through two months ago. It had healed well enough, but he remembered the blood, the pain on Sesshoumaru's face, in his voice.

His surrender to Inuyasha's will. His _submission._

For an alpha to submit to an omega—Kami, that _meant_ something. 

Inuyasha hesitated over the skin he had cut through. "Sesshoumaru, did—did it heal properly?"

Sesshoumaru inclined his head. "You may see for yourself, if you wish."

See for himself? To do that, Inuyasha would have to open Sesshoumaru's clothing. He would have to loosen his obi and unwrap both his kosode and suikan, too. Sesshoumaru would be left vulnerable again to the hanyou who had sliced through his arm. Twice. 

Inuyasha toyed with the temptation to test him, but maybe he had done that enough, and he would rather not put any _ideas_ in Sesshoumaru's head anyway.

He rubbed the muscle under his hand, and a slight tremor in the daiyoukai eased. "It's okay. I'll take your word for it."

"Hn. Arigatou."

 _Thank you._ Had Sesshoumaru ever thanked anyone before now? Kami, he really _had_ changed.

Inuyasha met his aniki's eyes, and the stark vulnerability within those twin suns, the uncloaked honesty shifted something within him. He still had no plans to ever submit his will or trust Sesshoumaru too far, but—but he wanted to comfort him. He wanted to take the grief and hurt from the daiyoukai's eyes. 

Maybe, just this once, he could let his guard drop. A bit.

Inuyasha lifted a tentative hand to his aniki's face and tucked a long loop of silver hair behind his pointed ear. Sesshoumaru's eyes fluttered closed. He said nothing, but the way he leaned into Inuyasha's hand spoke volumes anyway.

"You okay?"

"Better, yes."

"Good."

Inuyasha drew away and returned to his solitary journey. Sesshoumaru stayed back, as Inuyasha had bid him to do since the daiyoukai had begun following him, but the scent of sorrow in his aura twisted Inuyasha's heart. Ice King Sesshoumaru was lonely. Inuyasha knew that feeling too well, and even if he knew Sesshoumaru had done worse to him, and he kept justifying his distance with that excuse, it felt hollow now. 

He rubbed his aching chest and sighed. It was stupid to force Sesshoumaru to walk sixty meters back when they were going the same way anyway, and neither of them had anyone else left in the world.

"Sesshoumaru? Were you close to Hikari?"

Sesshoumaru came closer, a little. "She was the daughter of my daughter, but also a miko. Our relationship was… complex, I suppose."

"She never spoke of you to me."

"She never spoke of you to me either. I believe she wanted to spare us pain."

To spare them both? Then Sesshoumaru had mourned the distance between them, too. A throb of pain in his chest and heaviness in his stomach made Inuyasha squirm. 

Damn. He couldn't leave it like this, but he still didn't trust the daiyoukai near him either. There was so much dark history to overcome. 

Still, how would they ever make any progress if Inuyasha denied him all contact? Did he _want_ to make progress?

Kami, he had no idea what to do. All he knew was this feud between them no longer satisfied him, and he didn't like the lingering scent of pain and grief in his aniki's scent. The dark edge of despair.

Shit. He couldn't let this go on. No one deserved to be left entirely alone in the world. Not even the bastard who had done it to him.

"Hey, aniki, don't hold me up. Stop lagging behind before I start thinking you're losing your touch."

Sesshoumaru hesitated. "Hn. You have not wanted me to, as you say, keep pace."

"Yeah, well, I want to get to the village by nightfall, so hurry it up."

Some of the sharp edge of pain left Sesshoumaru's scent. The daiyoukai fell into place beside him, quiet and stoic, but relief tinged his scent. Good. 

Inuyasha ran beside his brother, and the silence between them no longer plagued him. Maybe he could live with this.

Maybe.

* * *

The village hadn't changed much since the last time he visited. The youngest humans neither knew nor trusted him, but the older humans treated him with grudging respect as he made his way to the small hut on the border of town and the gravesite just beyond. 

Inuyasha sat in the grass before Kagome's headstone. Sesshoumaru's scent lingered in the air, but at a distance. He had granted Inuyasha the privacy to grieve alone. Mostly.

"Hey, Kagome. You won't believe this. My aniki stopped me from joining you this summer, and now he's following me around like a lost puppy. Heh. What would you say about that? 'The wheel has turned' or something like that? 'The sandal is on the other foot now?' I don't remember. I can hardly believe you've been gone for seventy years."

He rested his head on his knees. "I miss you so much. Kami, I have no idea how I'm going to get through the midwinter solstice without you this time. It's one thing to endure a heat alone when no one gives a fuck about me and won't come anywhere near except youkai I can kill with my eyes closed, but now I have a _daiyoukai_ trailing me, one I can't throw off for anything. And did I mention he's my aniki? Who, apparently, doesn't give a damn if we're related?"

He shivered and hugged his knees tighter. "The bastard _kissed_ me, Kagome! Licked my bloody ears until I got hard and then he licked my _mouth_. He's fucked six ways from Sunday, as you used to say."

He sighed and watched the steam float away. "But I don't think he meant to upset me. All the licking, it's apparently a canine instinct. I guess he must have been telling the truth, because it made me react in strange ways. I don't mean my ears. He didn't lick them again when he realized. Just—Kami, I don't know. I wanted to curl up against him and let him hold me." He sniffled. "Part of me still does, but I just—the idea scares me."

He tilted his head back and searched the stars. "I hurt him again. Badly. I was so _angry_. And you know my history with alphas. I thought he just wanted to trick me into dropping my guard, but he—I can still hardly believe it, but he went to his knees and told me he would accept any punishment I gave. Kami, Kagome! I even threatened to rape the bastard—don't worry, I couldn't go that far—but he was going to just _take it_!"

Inuyasha wrapped his arms around his waist and shuddered. "So, I called his bluff, only—only he wasn't bluffing! He just knelt there while I slammed Tessaiga half through his sword arm, and it broke me. I swear, I thought he would stop me. But he didn't. He didn't, and everything is different, and I have no damn idea what to do anymore."

He stared at the headstone for a long time. "I wish I could hear you. I wish you were still here to chew off my ears when I do stupid things. Right now, I don't know which is more stupid—continuing to blow off the brother who has finally worked out that I _need_ him, damn it, or to trust the bastard and let him in. 

"What am I supposed to do, Kagome? You were my world. You, Sango, Miroku, and Shippou, and now all of you are gone. Well, Shippou is just in youkai territory with Kirara and his family, but it comes down to the same thing. I'm alone but for my oniisan, and I—I'm tired of fighting him off. Help me, Kagome. What do I do now?"

There was no answer, but Inuyasha swore he felt her spirit wrap him in a hug.

"Help me, seishitsu."

With a sniffle, he let the memory of her love soothe his troubled spirit and guide him from beyond.

* * *

Inuyasha sat by her grave through the night and into the morning. The scents of the villagers came and went. Only the scent of lightning and youki stayed constant. 

With the dawn, he wiped his face and moved on from the village. He wasn't ready to go home with his brother, and he sure as hell wouldn't submit anytime soon, but he didn't want to be alone anymore either. At least, not all the time.

He tracked Sesshoumaru to a tree at the edge of the village. When Inuyasha simply stared up at him, eyes still achy and swollen, the daiyoukai floated down and stood before him. Sesshoumaru's emotions had never been easy to read, at least when he had his guard up, but Inuyasha thought he had begun to discern small differences in his expressions. This one—this was his sad expression. Lonely. Uncertain and afraid. 

Inuyasha understood, too well. 

With a sigh, he crossed the distance between them and rested his head on his brother's chest, leaning against his fur so as not to hurt himself on Sesshoumaru's armor. 

"Inuyasha?"

"I—I don't want to fight anymore, aniki."

Sesshoumaru stilled, then a rush of warm breath brushed Inuyasha's ears. "No. I do not either." The daiyoukai unhooked his cuirass and set it aside, then guided Inuyasha to rest against his heart.

"Inuyasha? I am sorry, otouto. For everything."

It wasn't enough. It wasn't _nearly_ enough.

And yet, Inuyasha had waited three centuries to hear those words. 

Inuyasha hugged him tighter and buried his face in his aniki's chest. Sesshoumaru stroked his hair and ears and held him close. 

"I'm still not going home with you," Inuyasha muttered.

"I am not leaving you regardless."

Inuyasha sniffled. "T-thanks."

Sesshoumaru kissed his hair and cradled him in his arms, just as Inuyasha had always secretly wished he would.

* * *

The closeness of that night left Inuyasha unsettled and nervous. He didn't leave his oniisan's presence, but neither would he come too close. He needed time. Time to process his new relationship with his brother, time to work out where he wanted to go from there, and time to see if Sesshoumaru would honestly stick to his word.

After a week of stilted conversation and awkward distance, Inuyasha's mistrust had begun to fade. Sesshoumaru was putting up with a lot of aggravation for someone with no patience for dawdling. If he was going to abandon or dominate Inuyasha, well, he probably would have done it by now. Heat was another story, but in these quiet moments, Inuyasha had finally begun to believe his brother's devotion was real. 

About damn time.

Three weeks after the Goshinboku village, Inuyasha spent his first new moon with Sesshoumaru at his side. Granted, the daiyoukai had guarded him every new moon night since summer, but from a distance. This time, Inuyasha chose a relatively isolated Chinese elm as his hiding place for the night, and Sesshomaru's snow-white form stood in a katsura tree next to him, quiet and still as ever.

Gods, Inuyasha hated winter moonless nights. The cold dulled his senses and left him physically weak. He couldn't move as fast. Couldn't think. Everything slowed to a crawl in winter—except youkai—and that made him too easy a target.

As the night went on, the cold grew more and more unbearable. Kami, humans weren't meant to endure the winter outside of their homes. Inuyasha shivered helplessly and drew his bare feet close to his body. Fuck, winter was brutal in the mountains.

A powerful presence of youki nearby almost startled him out of his tree, but it was only Sesshoumaru. The daiyoukai detached his fur and wrapped the living warmth around Inuyasha's shoulders. 

"I would not have you freeze to death, otouto."

Inuyasha huffed. "I've survived it alone for two centuries, and with less shelter."

Sesshoumaru looked away. "Yes. But you are not alone any longer."

"Humph." Inuyasha glared, but the mokomoko was warm and soft, and it wrapped closely around him as if it wanted to hug him. Well, it _was_ part of Sesshoumaru. Maybe it did.

"Hey, are you—" He looked up and swallowed his words at the sight of an elegant, pale hand stretched towards Inuyasha's hair. 

Sesshoumaru paused and searched Inuyasha's face. A fine tremor raced through his hand. 

"Keh. What're you doing?"

Sesshoumaru closed his fingers, let his hand fall, and looked away. He didn't answer for a long time.

"It does not matter, I suppose. Nothing I do…."

The soft tone of his voice revealed his pain, even if his expression stayed as blank as ever. Inuyasha stared at him, bemused, until it finally hit him. 

Sesshoumaru had been trying to show him he cared about him, that Inuyasha's human form didn't bother him any longer. Well, the fur wrapped around him and the way it rubbed his cheek every now and then should have made it obvious, but Inuyasha hadn't caught it until now. 

Sesshoumaru's aura smelled cold and grey, tinged with the barest hint of the sea—sorrow and grief. Damn. He was really hurting. The thought made Inuyasha squirm, which he should have guessed wouldn't pass unnoticed.

Sesshoumaru looked at him and sighed. "I will return to the other tree so as not to trouble you, but you may keep my fur until you are better able to regulate your—"

"Aniki, wait."

Sesshoumaru paused. "Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha gave a frustrated huff. "Oh, just sit with me already. Body heat works better, and you're gonna draw every youkai for miles like that, standing up in a _tree_ , white as the fucking moon, for Kami's sake. Even my weak as shit human eyes can see you now."

Inuyasha neglected to mention that the mokomoko already generated body heat and the snow gave his fair brother better camouflage than Inuyasha, with his black hair and red clothing. Sesshoumaru didn't point it out either.

The youkai lord folded himself to perch beside Inuyasha, somehow still graceful halfway up a bloody tree. Cautiously, he stretched his arm behind Inuyasha's back.

"Body heat transfers better when you are closer."

If Sesshoumaru wasn't going to mention his fur, Inuyasha didn't plan on it either. Besides, the mokomoko didn't cover his head, and damn it, he was still cold. With a nod, he curled up against his aniki's chest and rested his head under Sesshoumaru's chin. Sesshoumaru's sigh and a light kiss warmed Inuyasha's scalp.

"I have missed you."

Well, shit. What was the point of making up excuses to let Sesshoumaru closer if he just came out and said things like that? And yet, hearing it eased some of Inuyasha's lingering uncertainty. Maybe it was okay to want this. If Sesshoumaru honestly didn't mind his human form any longer, if he liked him in this form enough to kiss Inuyasha's hair and hold him close to his heart, to wrap his fur around Inuyasha like a blanket, even down to putting Inuyasha's bare feet in his lap to rub warmth into his toes, maybe it was safe to trust Sesshoumaru's affection. 

After all, what reason did Sesshoumaru have to fake it? In this form, he could snap Inuyasha in half with a flick of his wrist. It was a waste of time and energy to hold him and kiss his hair if all he intended to do was hurt him when Inuyasha turned his back, and Sesshoumaru didn't waste effort or time on anything. He had never seen the point of drawing things out, and that hadn't changed.

Another wall between them dropped, and Inuyasha slid his hand down Sesshoumaru's body to rest against his aniki's stomach. He would have rested it on his chest instead, but that damn armor got in the way. 

Sesshoumaru's breath hitched a little, and that small display of vulnerability—and the fact that he didn't move away after—finally convinced Inuyasha, beyond a doubt, that he could trust this. It was real for Sesshoumaru, not a trick, not a ploy. His brother had as much to lose by their distance as Inuyasha. 

The thought eased something broken in the hanyou. Those centuries-old wounds _finally_ stopped bleeding. In time, perhaps, they would heal altogether. He hoped they would anyway, and that was more positive emotion than Inuyasha had felt since Kagome had left the land of the living. 

Maybe they would be okay, soon.

Sesshoumaru held him a little closer and made his purring sound. Inuyasha hadn't heard it since the night Sesshoumaru had saved him from his despair, and that he had missed it so much surprised him.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Hn?"

"Will you really stay this time?"

Sesshoumaru rested his cheek atop Inuyasha's head. "Yes."

He said nothing more, but from the way his fur and embrace tightened around him, the increased volume of his purring, and the hopeful scent of cherry blossoms in his aura, Inuyasha knew his words had affected his brother deeply. 

Yes. They would be okay soon, with time and healing.

But with just three weeks to go before the winter solstice and Inuyasha's heat, time wasn't on their side.


	6. Hesitation

#  **Chapter 6**

##  _Hesitation_

With Inuyasha's former village behind them and the bond between himself and his brother healing, Inuyasha had no idea where to go. The life of a nomad vigilante no longer appealed, but with everything between his brother and himself so new and vulnerable—and with his heat just around the corner—neither did traveling to the Western Lands. 

He couldn't linger near the Goshinboku village either, though. Strong youkai drew strong enemies if they stayed in one place too long without stronger walls to protect them, and Sesshoumaru was the most powerful daiyoukai in Japan. And Inuyasha was one of only two beings—youkai, human, or hanyou alike—who had ever dealt him a blow he couldn't recover from immediately. Bakusaiga had granted Sesshoumaru the return of his left arm, but he had gone without it for almost a year, and a thin white line still marked the skin all the way around, the only wound that had ever scarred him. 

The thought of it gave Inuyasha a mixed sense of professional pride and personal shame. True, his brother hadn't left him much choice but to fight back and fight hard at the time, but it bothered him that he had caused Sesshoumaru such a disabling injury for so long. Not that it had stopped him, but it was the principle of the thing. 

Regardless of his lingering guilt, however, the fact remained that Inuyasha _had_ defeated his undefeatable, daiyoukai sibling at least once. And that meant they had _far_ too much power to stay in one place much longer, but then where should they go?

Sesshoumaru watched him pace about the campsite in quiet contemplation. "Perhaps we should continue along the border to the Northern Isle? When I was last in the Western lands, my scouts reported rumors of soul-eaters along the far northern coast." His voice and expression revealed nothing but patience and curiosity. Willingness to allow Inuyasha to lead, at least for the moment.

Inuyasha weighed his options and gave in. He didn't like the idea of moving through dragon territory so close to his heat, but the few other choices he had left scared him even more. Heat in the middle of a castle full of youkai and the most powerful daiyoukai in the lands with no mate to curb his pheromones or guard him? _Kami_ , no. 

Inuyasha suppressed a shudder and flopped down beside his brother. "Yeah, might as well head north. Just—I don't like reptilian youkai, Sesshoumaru. At all. Well, Ah-Un was okay, but he wasn't like Ryukotsusei or the rest. Can we make it quick?"

"We do not have to go north if the reptiles trouble you, otouto." 

But the concern in Sesshoumaru's eyes invited questions, and Inuyasha couldn't answer them. Besides, he hadn't any better plans, and not even the reptilian youkai, twisted fuckers that most of them were, deserved the soul-eaters. Especially not the kids.

"Nah. Can't leave them hanging against those monsters."

Sesshoumaru nodded and let the topic drop, but Inuyasha sensed his worry. 

"Sesshoumaru, I'm okay."

"Hn."

The daiyoukai eased Inuyasha into his side, mokomoko shielding him from his armor, and wrapped his arm around the hanyou's shoulders. He said nothing, but from his touch, the gentle brush of his breath against Inuyasha's hair and ears, the warmth of his throat against Inuyasha's cheek, the hanyou knew Sesshoumaru wanted him to know he would protect him. 

Inuyasha might have let that knowledge irritate him once upon a time, but now, he just nuzzled Sesshoumaru's chin in acceptance of his strength and presence.

How times had changed.

* * *

The closer they came to the northern dragon lands, the more Sesshoumaru worried for his omega charge. Inuyasha jumped at shadows and clung to Sesshoumaru's side. Sesshoumaru found he liked his brother so close, but the scent of his fear troubled him. His own reaction to the place troubled him, too. A surge of barely repressed fury and hatred seethed under his skin and strengthened with every step nearer to the northern isle. 

Dragons. They had killed or traumatized nearly his entire pack. Three of five—his father, Jaken, and Ah-Un—dead at least partly due to a dragon's claws, and his final pack member… well, Sesshomaru had a terrible feeling he knew well why Inuyasha loathed dragon and lizard demons, and that only made Sesshoumaru hate them all the more.

Just before the flight across the sea and the northern coast, Sesshoumaru stopped in a quiet stretch of forest and bid them set up camp for the night. They still had some hours to go before nightfall, but Inuyasha's fear had grown too distressing, and the daiyoukai wanted time to try to ease it. Perhaps his instincts and the warmth of his arms might help, or a few hours spent in simple companionship. 

"Inuyasha," he murmured once they had a fire going and a space cleared of snow, "come. I smell a lake to the west. We shall do some fishing before nightfall. There is also the scent of an onsen nearby. Let us take advantage of it and diminish our scent a little before we enter the reptiles' lands."

Inuyasha looked to the north with a shudder. "Not sure that will help us much, aniki."

In all fairness, even a sulfur-soaked onsen would do little to shield them from the dragons and much to irritate the inu youkai's sensitive noses, and the onsen nearby smelled mostly clear regardless, but the hot water might ease their tension a little.

"Perhaps not, but we could do with a wash anyway, otouto."

"Fair enough." Inuyasha still stared at the horizon as if it would swallow him whole any moment. 

"Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru beckoned, and the hanyou snapped out of his daze. 

"Right. Fishing. Which I'm not looking forward to. We'll have to break through the ice."

Sesshoumaru smirked slightly. "Have faith."

"If you say so." Inuyasha walked beside his brother in silence. Sesshoumaru hugged him against his side and rubbed his arm.

"Otouto, I sense your fear. Remember you do not face them alone this time. You are quite formidable in your own right, but I will not allow you to come to harm regardless."

Inuyasha nodded and rested his head against Sesshoumaru's shoulder, if only for a moment. It was enough. 

Sesshoumaru bid Inuyasha stand by the lakeside. The daiyoukai removed his armor and suikan and opened his kosode enough to fold it down over his obi, leaving his chest and arms bare. He wrapped his fur around his waist to protect his clothing and prepared to cross the ice, but Inuyasha stopped him with a hand on his wrist.

"Aniki…."

Sesshoumaru paused at the grief in Inuyasha's voice, unsure of what had triggered his sudden fall into sorrow. Then, gentle fingertips traced the white line above his left bicep, and he understood. He watched, feeling a peculiar sense of vulnerability and trust, as Inuyasha circled the skin he had once scarred. On the other side, too, gentle fingertips stroked his shoulder where Inuyasha had wounded him. That side hadn't scarred.

"Sesshoumaru, I'm sorry."

Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's wrist. "No. You had every right to be angry here…." He pressed Inuyasha's hand against his right shoulder. "And as for my arm, I left you no choice but to attack with everything you had. What is more, you taught me valuable lessons that day—I am not invincible, you are a worthy opponent, and compassion is a strength. You taught me much, Inuyasha. The temporary loss of my arm was a small price to pay."

Inuyasha gave him an uncertain smile. "It still bothers me. I'm the only one who ever _really_ hurt you, and all I wanted…."

Sesshoumaru traced his thumb along Inuyasha's palm. "I know, Inuyasha-kun. I am here now."

Inuyasha gave a shaky sigh and stepped back. "Right. Sorry I'm such a mess lately, aniki. I haven't been the same since…."

"Since your mate died." 

"Yeah."

"I am not Kagome, and I do not have her… ease with conversation and compassion, but I am here."

Inuyasha gave a little huff of laughter. "Aniki, you might not be as open as Kagome, but…." He looked up, eyes full of confused emotions Sesshoumaru couldn't hope to untangle. "But you've changed. So much."

"We both have." Sesshoumaru watched him for a moment. "Are you well?"

"Yeah. Just trying to make sense of everything, I guess."

"Do not injure yourself."

"Injure—hey! I'm smart enough, you stuck-up jerk."

Sesshoumaru smiled a little. "I know."

"You kn…? You make no sense some—wait." Inuyasha stared, eyes wide and mouth caught somewhere between a scowl and gaping. " _Wait_. Aniki, have I lost my mind or did you just _tease_ me? As in poke fun at me not out of cruelty, but just to make me laugh?"

"So you finally catch on, hm?"

"Oi!" Inuyasha chuckled. "I didn't know you knew _how_ to joke."

"I don't."

Inuyasha snorted. "Ass. All right, cut it out already. We'll scare off all the fish."

Sesshoumaru nodded. "Come. We should move to the center of the lake." 

"Wait a minute." Inuyasha moved to undress, but Sesshoumaru held up a hand to stop him. 

"I will handle it. Come."

Inuyasha shrugged and followed his brother onto the lake. Sesshoumaru stopped Inuyasha a little ways back from him, used his fur to sweep the snow aside in a wide swath, and crouched atop the ice. His hair blew out behind him like spun silver, over an expanse of skin as pale as the moon and flawless as new snow. Crimson stripes curved along his hips and back, and every muscle tensed to spring.

Kami. Even Inuyasha had to admit his aniki was a damned beautiful youkai.

When he realized he was watching Sesshoumaru more than the fish, he jerked his face away and stared into the lake, face and ears on fire. Damn. What the hell was he doing, ogling his _half-brother_ , for Kami's sake? Sure, he was gorgeous, but—oh hell. 

_'Alpha, dumbass. Alpha.'_

Inuyasha forced his attention onto the lake with a vengeance. Several dark shapes had gathered about under the ice while he had dealt with his temporary break from sanity, but Sesshoumaru didn't move. What on earth was he waiting for? 

Without warning, Sesshoumaru struck. Pale arms and sharp claws cut the air in a rapid series of lightning-fast jabs, motions blurred with his speed. The daiyoukai clawed straight through the ice in rapid-fire punches and, in seconds, had about fifteen fat fish flopping about and hanging from his hands, the same number of holes in the ice, and a smirk on his face.

"Well," said Inuyasha with a wry grin, "that's one way to—"

A loud crack sounded under his feet.

"Shit!"

Sesshomaru bundled the fish into his fur, sprinted forwards, hauled Inuyasha into his arms, and shot off the surface of the lake just as the ice under Inuyasha cracked and split open.

"Kyah!" Inuyasha threw his arms around his brother's neck and held on for dear life. "Fuck! More excitement than I needed tonight."

Sesshoumaru made a low, rumbling sound that he didn't immediately recognize. What was that strange noise?

Inuyasha gasped and stared, eyes wide and shining in the moonlight. "Are you—? You _are_! I can't believe it. You _do_ know how to laugh!"

That was laughter? Sesshoumaru tested the sensation and decided he wouldn't mind laughing again, particularly if it made Inuyasha look at him like that, with pure joy bright in his eyes and a grin on his face. 

Warmth and light spread through Sesshoumaru's chest, driving back the cold. Kami, he had missed seeing his half-brother so happy.

Inuyasha's smile softened a little. "Aniki? Thanks."

Sesshoumaru nuzzled his cheek and set them down on the bank. 

* * *

Inuyasha woke whimpering. Half-formed images of grabbing claws, scaly skin, and smoky breath—and worse—flickered and faded, and the soft caress of gentle fingertips on his cheek eased them away. A low voice murmured close to his ears, and something velvety wrapped his chest and legs in warm comfort. 

"Shh. You are safe now. I am here."

Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha opened his eyes and groaned. The fourth nightmare that night, and it was still dark. 

He sat and eased Sesshoumaru's fur into his lap. "Sorry, aniki. Did I mention I _really_ hate reptilian youkai? Most of them anyway."

"So I see." Sesshoumaru settled beside him. "I will not allow you to come to harm."

He had once though. He had let Inuyasha suffer terribly, and the nightmares wouldn't let Inuyasha forget, even if he hated himself for it.

"I fucking hate this place," Inuyasha said with a shudder.

Sesshoumaru hesitated. "Inuyasha, if dragon territory troubles you so much, perhaps we should go elsewhere. If you do not mind returning to the west for a short trip, I might send my warriors here instead." 

Inuyasha barely suppressed a wince. Any other time, he would take a trip to inu territory over the dragon kingdom in a heartbeat, even to the castle, but this close to midwinter, it was suicide. At least in the northern isle he had the option to escape to somewhere safe when his heat hit.

"No. I'll be all right." Inuyasha stood and rubbed his face. "Might as well move on now, unless you're tired?"

Sesshoumaru sighed and stood. "Very well." He watched Inuyasha's face, his eyes pensive and troubled. "Otouto, if I could change the past…."

Inuyasha rubbed Sesshoumaru's arm. "I know you would. It's okay. Well, not okay, but—" He rested his head on his brother's shoulder. "It's over. You're a different person now, and—and I forgive you. Even if these damn dreams make it hard to forget."

Sesshoumaru tugged him into a rough embrace heavy with raw emotion. "Arigatou gozaimasu, otouto."

Inuyasha hugged him tight until his brother's trembling eased. He moved away after Sesshoumaru had brought himself back under control and gave the youkai a searching look. 

"Aniki, I'm not angry anymore, but why _did_ you hate me so much? Was it really just because I'm a hanyou?"

"I am a full demon, otouto. I inherited the prejudices of full demons until Rin and your pack forced me to see the truth." Sesshoumaru stared over the water, and a surge of grief flooded his scent. "But no, it was not the only reason."

"Could you…?"

"Will I talk to you about it?"

"Yeah."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, scent cold with sorrow and guilt. "I shall try." 

Inuyasha stroked through his aniki's hair, and Sesshoumaru tipped his head back into the touch, just a little. A low, soft purr put them both at ease. After a moment like this, Sesshoumaru shook himself free and gave Inuyasha a canine kiss against his forehead, then a human kiss to the same spot. 

"Arigatou, otouto." 

"It helped?"

"Much." Sesshoumaru slipped his arms into his suikan and chestplate; he had finished tying his obi before he spoke again. "I idolized father, Inuyasha. He was who I wanted to be. I was always underfoot when I was small, and he had loved me once, I thought. I thought my parents were happy." He held Tessaiga out for Inuyasha, a hint of a smirk on his lips.

Inuyasha took it with a sheepish smile. "All right, I get it. You have your own kickass sword now."

Sesshoumaru brushed Inuyasha's hair back from his face. "I want nothing from you but your presence."

Inuyasha's heart thumped. "Y-yeah. I know." He turned away to hide a sudden blush and tied his sword on over his hakama. "So your okaasan and Chichue weren't in love then?"

With both brothers dressed and ready to leave, Sesshoumaru directed Inuyasha down the path towards the shore. "No. Not at all, but as a child, I had too little experience of romantic relationships to understand."

Inuyasha cocked his head. "Huh." He scurried after his brother, who had already gone halfway down the hillside. "Have you had more as an adult, aniki? It seems to me you've never had much interest in anyone other than Rin and Chichue." His face burned again. "Well, and me."

"Hn. I have little personal experience of love. I have had physical partners, yes, but never anything more. I think I do not know how to love, not in a romantic sense."

"It's not all that different from other relationships, just closer."

"Tell me about it."

"About love?"

"Yes. What does it mean to have a mate?"

Inuyasha stared into the distance and remembered her scent, her compassion, her kind heart. When he spoke again, his voice came out soft and low, tinged with nostalgia and fondness. 

"Your mate is the person you trust to protect all of your secrets, all your vulnerabilities, and the person you want to protect most. Holding them—it feels better than anything in the world, and being with them is enough. You want them with you always and do your best to help them grow."

Sesshoumaru stopped, deep golden eyes fixed upon Inuyasha's face, pointed ears taking in every word. Inuyasha had trouble catching his breath with that intense gaze staring into his soul.

"Aniki?"

Sesshoumaru murmured, "What differentiates a close platonic relationship from romance, then?"

Inuyasha smirked. "Sex, obviously. I loved Miroku almost as much as Kagome, but I never had any interest in sex with him."

"Hn." Sesshoumaru watched him a little longer and turned towards the shore again. "You have a point, but devotion, I think, is the true marker of a relationship that will succeed. Loyalty. Trust. Honesty."

"Yeah. All of those things are necessary to feed love."

"Feed it?"

"Love takes work. You have to be willing to compromise and sacrifice for the other person and trust them with your heart. It isn't always easy."

Sesshoumaru rubbed his chin, expression pensive. "Perhaps that is why my parents' relationship failed then. Hahaue is not given to compromise, trust, loyalty, _or_ honesty."

"Yeah, that's a recipe for disaster."

"Hn. Would that I had understood that as a boy."

Inuyasha gave a wry laugh. "None of us do when we're young. I only learned after years and years of stupid mistakes. Thank the Kami Kagome was patient with me or she might have stuck me to the Goshinboku all over again."

"I would have set you free if she had."

Inuyasha gave his brother a searching look. "Yeah. I believe you."

Sesshoumaru granted those words a rare smile. Just a small curve of his lips, but on him, it might as well have been a grin. 

"Arigatou, otouto. I am relieved you have come to trust me better."

"I'm relieved to have a reason to trust you." Inuyasha squeezed Sesshoumaru's hand. "So your hahaue, she didn't love Chichue?"

"Hn." Sesshoumaru traced Inuyasha's fingertips as the hanyou withdrew. "I think she did, in her way, but her way was not his. He was like you, fire and passion and devotion. She is methodical and calculating, and the small gestures of trust she was willing to offer did not reach far enough to keep Chichue assured of her devotion."

Sesshoumaru's voice softened. "I am too much like her. Or, perhaps, I was once."

"You've changed a lot, aniki."

"Yes."

Inuyasha rubbed Sesshoumaru's hand. "So Chichue thought your okaasan didn't care?"

"Hn. He felt the relationship was unequal, I believe, and I agree that it was. She has never been open enough to love even her own son. Her danna-sama—no."

Inuyasha stilled, arrested by both the words and Sesshoumaru's matter-of-fact tone. Hm. He had imagined Sesshoumaru had grown up with the best of everything, but that wasn't true, was it? His mother was positively _cold_. Her caustic disapproval and unconcern must have scarred him. 

Yes, Sesshoumaru had had a home, but Inuyasha had known his parents loved him. To be first abandoned by the one parent who loved him, then grow up so unloved, so unwanted by the only parent Sesshoumaru had left—perhaps it wasn't hard to understand why he had been so cold for so long.

Inuyasha cupped his hands around Sesshoumaru's shoulders. "Aniki, hey, look at me. Yeah, you had to grow up alone and it broke you—it broke us both—but we're not alone anymore." 

Sesshoumaru brushed Inuyasha's forelock behind his shoulder. "That means much to me, otouto." 

"Y-yeah, well, it's just the truth."

"Hn." Sesshoumaru looked to the shore and sky. "This is close enough to the beach to take flight. Will you allow me to carry you over the water? Unless you would rather not go north after all?"

"Yeah. You can carry me." 

Inuyasha bound his brother's hair partway down, pushed the long tail over the daiyoukai's shoulder, and climbed onto his back. He clung to Sesshoumaru's shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze. 

"Okay, aniki. I'm ready."

"Hold on, then." 

Sesshoumaru gripped the hanyou's thighs and soared high over the waves towards the north.

"Keh, kinda nice."

Sesshoumaru gave him a curious look over his shoulder. 

"Kirara rides a little rough sometimes. You fly smooth." 

Sesshoumaru nodded. "I have no need to run through the air as a fire neko does, so my flight path is continuous." 

"Yeah, makes sense." Inuyasha hugged him a little closer. "Can you go on about the past, aniki?"

"Yes. I only needed to begin our trip across the sea."

And gather his thoughts, probably, but Inuyasha let it slide. 

"So what happened between your okaasan and Chichue?"

Sesshoumaru went quiet for a moment. "Their mate bond began to disintegrate before my eyes, and as Chichue treated me as a beloved son and not a toy prince to dress up and order about, I took his side."

Inuyasha grimaced. "Then he left your okaasan for a human."

"Yes, and left _me_ , Inuyasha. It might have been different had he taken me along as well. I was angry at Hahaue myself by then, too, but perhaps, like you once defended your heart too well, I kept my own too well-guarded. He assumed, I think, I would be happier in the castle, but it… I…."

"He broke your heart."

"Yes. I did not understand why he abandoned me, nor did I understand my own grief. Izayoi became a convenient target for my anger once I realized why he had left me alone in that frigid bitch's care, and so, in turn, did you. It is no excuse, but that is the truth. I—"

Inuyasha tried not to laugh, but it was so absurd to hear Sesshoumaru call his own mother such a crude word, he couldn't hold back a snicker.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. "Hn. I am relieved you find my pain so amusing."

Inuyasha couldn't be sure Sesshoumaru was teasing him, but he thought so.

"It wasn't that. You called your own okaasan a frigid bitch!" More snickers escaped Inuyasha's control.

"Why is that funny? She is, in fact, a bitch. And quite frigid."

Inuyasha buried a burst of laughter in his brother's shoulder. "Kami! You're the most proper person there is. I never thought I would hear you—"

"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru said, tone serious but eyes alight, " _all_ inuyoukai females are bitches. We are _dog demons_."

Inuyasha lost control, laughing riotously against his brother's hair. "Hah! Sesshoumaru, stop before you make me fall!"

Sesshoumaru gave his rumbling laugh, then his mirth faded into something painful. "No. I will never let you fall again."

Inuyasha's giggles subsided. "Y-yeah."

As they approached northern isle, a trickle of dread dripped down Inuyasha's spine. He believed Sesshoumaru, but heat changed alphas. Much as he wanted to believe Sesshoumaru was different, he couldn't risk it. 

Two more weeks before everything changed and his brother became a threat once more, even if he no longer wanted to be. 

Kami help them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't find information as to where the dragons are actually located in canon. So hopefully this is close enough.


	7. Across the Border

#  **Chapter 7**

##  _Across the Border_

Inuyasha rushed Sesshoumaru through dragon territory. Foolish, probably, as no reptile youkai could match them, but he couldn't stand the feelings their proximity caused. Slime on his skin, claws down his spine, dark whispers in his ears. Ugh. He couldn't get out of this place fast enough.

Sesshoumaru didn't question his revulsion. Whether because he wanted to keep the peace or because he _knew_ , Inuyasha couldn't be sure, but he had never appreciated his brother's tendency toward silence so much. The last thing he wanted to do was rip those wounds open so close to his heat and in the middle of his personal version of hell. 

No, best to get in and out as fast as possible.

They reached the northern coast in three days. It might have been faster had Sesshoumaru not stopped at youkai villages along the way to question citizens about the rumours. That the citizens confirmed them as truth, for the most part, did nothing to ease Inuyasha's nerves.

The rumors all pointed them to the coastal village in the northeast, too close to the dragon castle for comfort. Inuyasha kept damn close to Sesshoumaru, enough so that a few youkai asked where he had found such an… _interesting_ mate. The fact that Inuyasha _didn't_ protest at the top of his lungs only served to worry his oniisan more, but Inuyasha didn't care what others thought of him. Sesshoumaru offered safety, and nothing else in this godsforsaken place did.

Outside of the last village before their target, Sesshoumaru questioned him on it. "Inuyasha, do you wish me to encourage their beliefs? Or, perhaps, not _discourage_ them?"

Inuyasha gave him a shocked look. "Wh-what? Kami, Sesshoumaru! What are you asking me?"

Sesshoumaru huffed. "If I intended to court you, I would be direct about it. This, at least, you know well."

True enough. Sesshoumaru didn't beat around the bush.

"Well then, why _are_ you asking?"

"I had thought posing as my mate might lend you a little extra security. I am positive every youkai around can smell your fear."

"Uh…." Inuyasha sighed. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt. Just don't lie, okay? I don't want to damage relations between your kingdom and the north just because I hate reptiles."

"Yes, this Sesshoumaru knows how to run his kingdom."

Inuyasha frowned. "You haven't done that with me in a long time. Calling yourself 'this' instead of saying 'I.'"

"I only do so when conducting or speaking of royal affairs or when speaking to those I am not close to or do not trust."

"Did I screw up then?"

"No. It was simply habit as we were discussing diplomatic affairs."

"Oh." Inuyasha hugged his chest. "Well, come on then, aniki. We still have some ground to cover."

Sesshoumaru nodded and led his brother towards the moonrise.

* * *

Sesshoumaru led Inuyasha into the village with his arm draped around the hanyou's waist. Inuyasha did seem more at ease with Sesshoumaru protecting him so closely, so the daiyoukai made a mental note to keep it up until the dragon lands were well behind them. 

He enjoyed having Inuyasha at his side anyway. Perhaps a bit more than he ought. Would he have offered to pose as a mate to anyone else? No. The thought left him cold. Yet having Inuyasha pressed against his side, long hair blowing against his own, one hand curled around his fur or trailing through his hair—Kami, he liked it.

Maybe it would serve him well to use this time he had with Inuyasha so close to him to investigate the depth of his attachment to his last remaining pack.

His bitch of a mother, who had earned the title in both senses of the term, certainly didn't count.

As he passed a vendor's stall, where a group of dragon hatchlings hovered and squealed over the sweetmeats the leopard youkai had on offer, Inuyasha froze. He watched one of the young, who had white scales and silver humanoid hair—a mixed breed, then—with haunted eyes. 

"Inuyasha?"

The hanyou shook himself and buried his face in Sesshoumaru's shoulder. "I need—please. Let's go."

Sesshoumaru steered him away, wondering what it was about the little lizard mixed breed that had hurt him so much. 

And why Inuyasha kept glancing back.

"Otouto, are you well?"

Inuyasha looked back one last time. The little hatchling met Inuyasha's gaze, revealing slitted golden eyes, and Inuyasha shuddered and turned away. 

"Not—not really."

Sesshoumaru guided him around a corner, and Inuyasha slumped. He might have thought it relief if not for the scent of salt on the wind.

"Inuyasha?"

The hanyou buried his head in Sesshoumaru's chest. "Just—"

The hanyou couldn't speak further, but Sesshoumaru understood. He licked Inuyasha's tears away and stroked his ears, soothing him with his alpha instincts. Inuyasha clung to his chest and tipped his head back to accept Sesshoumaru's care, and a surge of powerful affection flooded Sesshoumaru. He responded to his display of trust with a soft brush of his tongue across Inuyasha's lips, then soft canine kisses across his cheeks and jaw, and would have followed it with the kind of kisses Inuyasha was more used to, had an angry, rasping voice not interrupted.

"Kami, take it indoors, mutts!"

Sesshoumaru turned with the kind of lethal slowness that both communicated danger and his unconcern for the flea who had dared step in his path. "You have a problem with this Sesshoumaru caring for his pack?"

A rough-looking lizard youkai sneered at them. "You're in reptilian lands, dogs. We don't do that pack shit here. Keep your foul tongues in your mouths."

"Oi," Inuyasha snapped, "if you know what's good for you, you'll take your own advice."

"Shut your mouth, half-breed! Your kind don't belong in society. The bitch that whelped you ought to have drowned you at—"

Sesshoumaru's hand shot out in a blur of poison and fury. "Apologize," he snarled, hand clutched tight around the lizard's throat. 

His fangs elongated, his claws dripped poison, and the scent of pissed-off youki rolling off of him sent the nearby youkai ducking for cover. 

"Apologize," he demanded again, "and _perhaps_ this lord of the west will spare your miserable life."

"L-let me go," the lizard squeaked. "He's just a stupid hanyou!"

The scent of poison and burning lizard flesh filled Sesshoumaru's nostrils. The fool under his claws squealed and clawed at Sesshoumaru's arm, but the daiyoukai didn't flinch. 

"Apologize, _now_."

"S-sorry! Okay, I said sorry!"

"Not good enough." Sesshoumaru threw the lizard down and dug his boot into his neck. "Bow before your superiors, you worthless piece of lizard flesh."

The lizard struggled, but Sesshoumaru's strength was inexorable.

"Bow!"

"Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha muttered, "please. I don't want all this attention."

"He insulted the pack of the lord of the west and the _hanyou_ who defeated Ryukotsusei."

The lizard froze. "W-what? You're Inu—"

"Yeah, Inuyasha, you damned idiot. And I'd advise you to do whatever the hell my oniisan says if you plan on keeping your head attached. He's stronger than I am."

Sesshoumaru wasn't so sure of that.

The lizard squealed and grovelled. "F-forgive me, lords of the west! I was blinded by your beauty and—"

Sesshoumaru kicked the fool in the mouth. "Cease your foul lies this instant. You are fortunate my otouto has pleaded that I act with mercy or you would die this instant."

"Oh, I never said you had to be merciful," Inuyasha said with a dark glare at the lizard. "Just so happens I hate lizards enough not to care. Just don't waste any more time, aniki."

"Is that so?" Sesshoumaru removed Bakusaiga from its sheath and pressed the edge against the lizard's throat. "Then consider yourself fortunate, uncultured fool, that I require the use of a messenger. Anyone else who _dares_ insult the Royal Prince Inuyasha or this Lord of the West Sesshoumaru, while we pass through these lands on a peaceful mission to _aid your people_ , will be dealt with swiftly, with no mercy. Pass it on to your cretin friends, and hope we never meet again this side of the afterlife." Sesshoumaru sliced through the lizard's back, just enough to let him know his threat was not idle. "Go. Now, before I change my mind about letting you live."

The lizard sobbed and staggered away, dripping blood behind him. Sesshoumaru scowled at the mess. "I should have made him lick the blade clean. There is nowhere to wipe it here."

Inuyasha grimaced and used a loose fold of his hakama to clean the blade. "My clothes clean themselves, so don't worry. And, Kami, Sesshoumaru. You're really a cold son of a bitch when you're pissed off, huh?"

Sesshoumaru gave him a dark look. "You know this better than anyone." His heart softened and calmed at the sight of Inuyasha's worry for him. "Peace, otouto. I will not tolerate such insults to my brother nor myself." He smoothed Inuyasha's hair back from his face. "I will not tolerate it."

Inuyasha frowned. "You've said worse."

Sesshoumaru winced. "And I, too, was a blinded fool." He lowered his hand and looked away. "Is there nothing I can do to earn your forgiveness? Nothing to prove my heart is changed?"

Inuyasha sighed and pressed up on his toes. A gentle lick to Sesshoumaru's cheek eased his pain.

"Aniki, I know. I wasn't trying to throw it in your face. It's just—I hear it all the time. Humans and youkai alike—no one wants hanyou. I'm used to it."

" _I_ am not, otouto, and neither should you be." He held Inuyasha's shoulders. "Allow me to shield you, Inuyasha-kun, even if I know you are strong enough to protect yourself."

Inuyasha relented with a tentative smile. "Yeah. I guess it's what my oniisan should do."

"Yes." Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's cheek once and moved to stand beside him again, one arm draped over his shoulders. "Come, otouto. Let us see if we can learn anything more about these soul-eaters now that the city knows we are not to be trifled with."

Inuyasha nodded and followed him back into the village.

* * *

Inuyasha followed Sesshoumaru's lead as they questioned the villagers. He had worried their altercation with the lizard thug would make the villagers clam up, but as the same ruffian bothered them far too often, they had come to see the inuyoukai as allies instead. Even so, they didn't find a real breakthrough until they reached the poorest area of town. 

Inuyasha frowned as they walked from house to house. Something was strange about the area, and he couldn't put his finger on it. He didn't work it out until they passed a creche with only three hatchlings and one carer—it was the lack of young. Most impoverished areas—youkai and human alike—had more young than they knew what to do with. They lacked access to proper preventative measures, so the poor population tended to outpace any other sector. This settlement, though—he might have counted five younglings altogether, and all of them under eight. He saw no teenagers or older young at all.

"Sesshoumaru, where are the kids?"

The daiyoukai paused halfway past the creche. "Hn?"

"The kids. This place should be overrun, and I've hardly seen a handful of young since we entered the slums. Even the noble district had more. A lot more." Inuyasha shuddered. "It feels wrong, aniki."

Sesshoumaru looked about the village, eyes narrowed. "Your instincts where young are concerned are not to be taken lightly. Hm. I had considered approaching the guards with our inquiries, but perhaps we are going about this the wrong way."

"There's a worker in the play yard. Let's ask her."

Sesshoumaru nodded and led Inuyasha to the gecko youkai watching over two young hatchlings and a hanyou boy of about eight years of age. She tensed as they approached and positioned herself in front of the younglings, which raised Inuyasha's esteem in the woman. 

"We mean no harm," Sesshoumaru said. "I am Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western lands, and this is Prince Inuyasha, this Sesshoumaru's otouto and pack mate."

The gecko blinked. "L-lords? In _our_ area of town? Kami!" She bowed low and came up with fear in her eyes. "Please, if you're searching for servant children, I beg of you to choose a different town, daimyo. We have so few young left."

"Yeah, we noticed that." Inuyasha gave her a quick bow, which eased her fear a little. "We aren't here to take your kids. We're trying to find out what's going on about the soul-eaters. My oniisan and I are, um, rather well known for beating up dangerous youkai, and I've been in the habit of driving monsters away from the innocent as a way of life for forty years now."

"Oh!" The gecko lady smiled. "Oh, I know who you are now, Inuyasha-dono. You're the inu hanyou who's been cleaning up the lowlifes for us, both human and youkai."

"Yeah, that's me." He gave her a wry look and rubbed the back of his neck. "Didn't realize I'd made myself a reputation."

"Well, maybe not among the nobles, daimyo. Most are too stuck-up to see the value in a supposed 'half-breed.' They don't know a hero when they see one, but the little youkai among us are grateful for your help, Inuyasha-dono."

Inuyasha's face burned. "Keh. Thanks. You're all right."

She bowed in thanks. "Arigatou, Inuyasha-dono." She turned when a little one pulled on her skirt, the hanyou boy. He looked to be a chameleon type and had big green eyes, a shock of dark hair, and tawny skin with blue and green markings that shifted color in the light. 

"Aki-sensei," the boy said, "are these men nice?"

"We are indeed, little hatchling," said Sesshoumaru. "No one here will harm you or your friends."

"Really, okyakusama? Even though I'm part human?"

"So am I, kid." Inuyasha flicked his ears for emphasis. "I'm a hanyou just like you, only I have inu blood instead of lizard."

"Oh, wow! You're a hanyou _and_ a prince, Inuyasha-dono?"

Inuyasha frowned. "That—I guess I am."

"You are, otouto." Sesshoumaru tipped Inuyasha's chin up gently and pressed his lips to Inuyasha's forehead. Inuyasha's ears flicked back and his face caught fire, but he didn't resist.

Sesshoumaru stroked Inuyasha's cheek as he moved back. "Does that reassure you, little one?"

The boy blinked. "I dunno that word, Sesshoumaru-dono."

"He asked if it makes you feel better, Hiro," said Aki. "Does it help to see that Sesshoumaru-dono clearly cares for Inuyasha-dono?"

Inuyasha gazed up at his aniki and wondered just how deep his care went. Those kisses earlier, canine ritual or not, Inuyasha swore he sensed something softer about them, sweeter. Sesshoumaru watched his face, his thumb tracing soft circles over the hanyou's cheek. Inuyasha's heart fluttered a little.

The little boy broke the tension. "Oh, yes, I think he does care a lot, Aki-sensei!"

Inuyasha's ears burned, too. 

Sesshoumaru stroked Inuyasha's jaw as he released him, and Inuyasha couldn't help feeling as if that touch and soul-deep gaze had been more than a show for the public.

Kami, he had to be imagining things, right?

Aki patted the little hanyou's head. "Run along and play, younglings. Sensei needs to talk to the daimyo now."

The children obeyed with giggles and whispers. Inuyasha heard 'handsome' and 'puppy ears' more times than he cared to.

"Well, daimyo, I don't know about soul-eaters," Aki said, "but _something_ has certainly been making off with our young. Three years ago, I had charge of twenty-one hatchlings, all under the age of five, and ten under the age of twelve, yet my creche is all but empty now. I've never sensed foreign youkai nearby, though, and I'm positive we would have noticed soul-eaters."

"No foreign youkai, and the attackers focus on children?" Inuyasha gave his brother a grim look. "That doesn't sound like soul-eaters."

"It's only the guards and nobles that say that, Inuyasha-dono," said Aki. "The commoners know well it's no soul-eater after our young, but the nobles—well, the world listens when they speak."

Inuyasha understood, too well. "Sounds to me like we ought to be searching for a reptilian noble rather than a soul-eater, aniki." His expression hardened. "Trust me, they're the worst of the lot."

Sesshoumaru rubbed his chin. "Hn. That will complicate matters. It is a good thing I am with you on this mission, otouto."

"I'm glad you are, too. Couldn't do it alone." Not least because their enemy might be too _familiar_.

Sesshoumaru trailed his fingers through Inuyasha's hair. "Arigatou, Aki-sensei. Do you know when the last attack was, or have any idea when they might reappear?"

Aki gave him a grim nod. "They tend to strike near the new moon. They are overdue."

"Then that means they'll strike any day now," Inuyasha said in a grim voice. "Aniki, much as I want to—you know—we can't leave those kids to those monsters. You have no idea what they're capable of."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. "How I wish you did not know either, otouto, but I will concede to your greater knowledge of the situation. We shall find an inn nearby and wait."

Inuyasha nodded and bowed to Aki. "Arigatou. If anything should happen, please come for us right away. Don't worry about propriety or waking us up—the kids' lives come first."

Aki blinked hard and bowed low, her gratitude obvious. "Arigatou gozaimasu, daimyo. With all of my heart, I thank you. I will do as you ask."

"We appreciate the help." Inuyasha tugged Sesshoumaru's hand. "Aniki, let's go before we're seen. Aki-san, please tell no one but those you trust not to run to the nobles that we were here. They know we're here researching the situation, but they don't know we've heard anything but the lies they use as a cover. Let's keep it that way."

"Yes, Inuyasha-dono. I promise. Um, if you don't mind sleeping in, well, less than royal accommodations, there's an inn around the corner here, just past the shrine."

Sesshoumaru inclined his head. "We have often slept in the wild. An inn is no trouble. We will take our leave now. Thank you again for your assistance."

Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha bid her and the younglings farewell, and the daiyoukai led him to the inn. 

Once they had shared a meal and settled in, Sesshoumaru guided Inuyasha to the futons. 

"Rest, otouto. I will guard you."

Inuyasha shuddered. "I-I'm not sure I can."

Sesshoumaru sat beside him and wrapped his mokomoko around Inuyasha like a blanket. "I will sit with you then so you know you are safe."

Inuyasha huffed. "We're so sure that's a comfort now, are we?"

Sesshoumaru traced gentle fingers and careful claws through his hair. Inuyasha couldn't deny that the touch soothed him.

"Try to sleep, Inuyasha. I will not leave your side."

Comforted in spite of himself, Inuyasha responded with a canine kiss to Sesshoumaru's wrist stripes and curled up against his side. He fell asleep to the feel of gentle strokes against his hair and forehead. 

* * *

Sesshoumaru's fingers trembled a little as he stroked Inuyasha's cheek. The hanyou had fallen unconscious over an hour ago, but Sesshoumaru couldn't have slept even if he needed to. That soft lick against his wrist and sensitive markings had set him aflame, and the implications had him reeling. Inuyasha's words on the banks kept running through his head, an undeniable truth Sesshoumaru had never imagined would happen for _him_.

But it had.

_'Your mate is the one you trust with all your secrets and vulnerabilities.'_

Sesshoumaru had never submitted to anyone but the hanyou curled up against his side, never apologized, never trusted anyone with his weaknesses and heart except for Inuyasha.

_'You want to protect them the most.'_

Sesshoumaru had dropped everything to guard his hanyou brother when he realized Inuyasha was breaking. He hadn't been back to the kingdom in months because protecting Inuyasha meant more.

_'Holding them is the best feeling in the world.'_

Sesshoumaru never felt happier than when Inuyasha curled up against his chest, head tucked under his chin, ears flicking against his jaw. He swore the world stopped when he held Inuyasha in his arms.

_'You do your best to help them grow.'_

Helping Inuyasha grow—he had tried so hard. Whether by speaking of their pasts, their hearts, or their dreams, by taking the blows for him, by shielding him against his own despair and by teaching him he still had a place to belong, and by teaching him to trust an alpha with his safety after years of abuse, Sesshoumaru had tried to heal his brother.

_'You want them with you always.'_

If Inuyasha would submit to his pack instincts, accept Sesshoumaru as his alpha, and promise to stay by his side—Kami, the very thought made him smile.

And sex? The lick to his wrist, the slight touch that set him panting, the way Inuyasha had watched him on the lake, the way Sesshoumaru's eyes always followed Inuyasha's form—yes, if Inuyasha wanted him, Sesshoumaru would be more than happy to spend his life learning and relearning every curve and angle of his hanyou's body.

That settled the matter in his mind. After hundreds of years without a hint of romantic interest or a flicker of passion in his heart, Sesshoumaru had finally learned how to love, but would Inuyasha ever be able to truly welcome him? 

He still hadn't accepted Sesshoumaru as his official alpha. He hadn't lowered his guard enough to sense his omega instincts. Of course, part of his hesitation probably came from the trauma associated with their surroundings, but Sesshoumaru sensed something deeper holding him back. Something that terrified him more than the reptilian youkai.

Could Sesshoumaru ever hope to overcome such fear, particularly when his past failures had cost the one he loved so much? 

Kami. What was he to do? His strength would do him no favors in this battle—Inuyasha had already won. Where did that leave him now? 

Inuyasha made a soft sound of distress, another nightmare, and Sesshoumaru soothed him with soft words and softer touch. 

"You are safe, otouto. I will never allow anyone to hurt you so badly again."

Inuyasha relaxed and nuzzled his thigh, and Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth against another wave of fiery desire. Gods. The slightest touch, and his entire body burned.

_'Sometimes the silliest things will turn you on.'_

True enough.

Sesshoumaru gazed at Inuyasha's sleeping form, all fair skin, hard muscle, and silken silver hair falling about him like streams of moonlit water, and his passion softened and spread into his soul. Yes, he was in love with this beautiful hanyou.

And that made his path clear regardless of what fate the future held in wait for them. Whether Inuyasha ever came to open his heart to his oniisan or not, Sesshoumaru would stay with him, always.

"I will never leave you to face the night alone again," the daiyoukai whispered. "I will never leave your side again."

Inuyasha turned into his touch slightly. "Aniki…."

"Yes, I am here. I—I love you, Inuyasha-kun."

Inuyasha smiled a little and reached for him, and Sesshoumaru took his hand.

"Aniki, stay…."

Sesshoumaru kissed Inuyasha's cheek. "Yes, I wish to stay with you, too."

Inuyasha mumbled his name and snuggled closer.

Maybe there was some little hope. Either way, Sesshoumaru's place was here from now on.

He lifted his hand to resume his soothing touches when an urgent knock at the door had both of them bolting up.

"A-aniki?"

"I am here." Sesshoumaru stood, mokomoko still wrapping his brother in soothing warmth even as he stood guard. "Yes? What is it?"

A distressed feminine voice called, "Sesshoumaru-dono, it's Aki. They—they hit the village again. It's—they took H-Hiro-chan, and even a few of the younglings from wealthier families. Please."

Sesshoumaru grabbed his armor and passed Inuyasha his sword. "We are coming."

"Oh, arigatou! Hiro is—he may as well be mine. Please, I…." 

"Peace. We will find him."

The woman burst into tears and sobs of gratitude, and Sesshoumaru vowed he would do everything in his power to see to it that this little hanyou, at least, grew up in safety.

"Inuyasha, let's go."

Inuyasha nodded and followed him into the night.


	8. Into the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Triggers abound in this chapter. Fair warning.**

#  **Chapter 8**

##  _Into the Darkness_

Aki led the inu lords to Hiro's home, and Inuyasha took a moment to test the air. Dragon youkai, a powerful one. Lesser dragon, too. And a lizard tinged with the smell of fresh blood. _Familiar_ blood.

"That dirty creep! I should've let you kill the bastard when we had the chance, aniki."

Sesshoumaru didn't respond. He stood with his back turned to Inuyasha, fists clenched and a fine tremor racing down his hands and shoulders.

"Sesshoumaru? Aniki?"

The scent of blood tinged the air, Sesshoumaru's blood. A quiet _plop-plop_ led Inuyasha's eyes downwards, and he tracked trails of crimson dripping between his brother's fingers.

" _Shit_!" Inuyasha eased his brother's hands open and turned the inu lord to face him. 

Sesshoumaru's eyes had gone red.

"Sesshoumaru! Aniki!" Inuyasha laid cautious hands on either side of his brother's face and rubbed his cheek stripes. "Sesshoumaru, look at me. Whatever has you so furious, we'll get them. We'll kill the bastards, but I need you to focus. Those kids are in big trouble, and you can run faster. I need your help. Come on, aniki. Come on."

Slowly, the red bled back into gold. "Inuyasha, on my back. Now."

Inuyasha nodded and leapt onto Sesshoumaru's back, arms around his neck and legs around his waist. Sesshoumaru grabbed Inuyasha's thighs and nodded to Aki, and then they were racing through the air so fast, the world blurred. 

Kirara had never touched speed like this.

"Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha called over the whipping winds, "what is it? What triggered your youkai?"

"The dragon, the powerful one. I have smelled him before."

"Shit! Where? When?"

"Later. I need to focus."

"All right."

Inuyasha clung to his neck and wondered what this dragon youkai could have done to Sesshoumaru to send such a cool-headed daiyoukai feral at the mere scent of him.

* * *

Sesshoumaru couldn't stop the images—green, red, and brown bits of flesh, and blood, so much blood. He snarled and forced back the pain, the scent of his own tears. Oh, Kami, he had failed everyone he ever loved.

Inuyasha rested his head against Sesshoumaru's. "Aniki, shh. I'm here. We'll make it right. I promise."

Inuyasha's touch and voice reminded Sesshoumaru he still had one soul left to protect. For his brother's sake, he quieted his rage and grief and forced his attention to the scent trail. It led him to a mountainside and a cliffside cave. The scent of blood, reptiles, and even worse things turned his stomach, but he ignored it. 

"Ugh. Don't like the look of this," Inuyasha whispered. "I like the smell even less."

Sesshoumaru nodded. "We must be quiet." He offered his hand to his brother, but Inuyasha hesitated. 

"You're still hurt."

"It is healing. I will be fine."

"I don't want to hurt you. Maybe your wrist?"

Sesshoumaru shivered. "The stripes are much like your ears in that holding me there will be counterintuitive to my ability to focus."

Inuyasha flushed. "O-oh. Um, your fur?"

Sesshoumaru shrugged, unwilling to delay them further, and moved his mokomoko back into his brother's reach. Inuyasha took hold and followed him into the cavern. 

The cave mouth opened into a carved dwelling of sorts. The first room held a gaming table, a few scattered chairs, a spring lined with stones, and a battered shelf full of sake, shochu, and glasses. Two glasses of sake sat on the table, situated around a game of shoji abandoned halfway through. The players couldn't have been gone long. 

Sesshoumaru sniffed the table and identified two new lizard youkai, midclass. No threat to himself or his brother. He went on without a word, and Inuyasha followed. 

A door set in wooden walls led to a low hallway with three doors on either side. The first two led to a living area and cooking hearth. The second set opened to a washroom and a storage room. The last two opened to bedrooms, but not the sort people _slept_ in.

"Fuck!" Inuyasha scrambled back, expression twisted in horror. "Oh, gods, no."

Sesshoumaru wrapped his fur around his shaking brother's shoulders and dragged him into a hug, all the comfort he could offer in such a place. "Shh. Breathe. I am here, otouto. We will save them."

Inuyasha took an unsteady breath and nuzzled into Sesshoumaru's neck, just for a moment, then pulled away. "R-right. We won't let it happen…." He trailed off, haunted eyes staring into the rooms behind them.

"Inuyasha, come. Come away from here."

Sesshoumaru tucked the hanyou into his side and guided him further into the cave, away from the 'bedrooms.' By Kami, if they found any of those younglings in _that_ situation, Sesshoumaru would burn the entire mountain down. Even before he knew love and compassion, there were lines he would never cross. This was absolutely beyond the pale for him, even at his worst.

"Inuyasha, come. Fight with me for their lives and innocence." 

_'I will not let history repeat itself.'_

Inuyasha shuddered and forced his attention onto the path ahead. "Y-yeah. You're right." He held Sesshoumaru's side and let himself be led into the next room. With a deep breath, the strength and determination returned to his posture. "Right. We won't let it happen to them, not this time."

_'Never again.'_

Sesshoumaru held him tighter for an instant, then eased his arm away. "You are well?"

"I'm fine. Those kids won't be though if we waste any more time, so let's go."

Sesshoumaru nodded and pushed open the next door. It led to a mostly natural cavern with many paths. Hm. He sniffed the air and frowned. The younglings' scent led to the left, and the thrice-accursed dragon's scent led to the right.

Damn! There wasn't time to pursue both. Either they trailed the dragon demon he hated and abandoned the little ones, or they let the dragon escape and save the young.

The thirst for vengeance burned in his blood, but then he recalled a young Inuyasha pleading for his aniki's love and protection, he recalled his cruel abandonment of a child much like the hanyou trapped beyond, and the horror in the eyes of the adult just moments before. 

And that made his choice clear.

_'I should have fought for you, otouto. From now on, I always will.'_

With a shuddering breath, he steeled his resolve and he forced his feet to the left. Damn his sense of honour. He might not get another chance to kill the monster, but he couldn't do it again. He couldn't let another child suffer for his wrath and pride.

Rin would be proud of him if she could see him now. He let that thought comfort him and followed the path west.

Inuyasha ran his fingers through Sesshoumaru's hair and squeezed his shoulder.

"Arigatou, aniki," he whispered in Sesshoumaru's ear. A kiss to his cheek followed the soft words. The touch eased Sesshoumaru's heart and reassured him he had made the right choice.

The cave system twisted and turned in on itself so many times, if not for the inu's superior sense of smell, they would certainly have lost their way. No doubt the reptilian youkai, who didn't have the same level of olfactory strength save for the strongest of the dragon class, had counted on that. It was a simple enough matter for the dog demons to follow their noses, however.

At least until the path forked again with scents of young on either side.

Inuyasha whispered, "We'll have to split up. If we attack one side at a time, the other might hear us and decide to cut their losses."

Sesshoumaru didn't like it, but Inuyasha was right. Nothing there could match them, and Inuyasha had been fighting alone for years.

Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's cheek. "Come back safely."

Inuyasha flushed and nodded. "You too."

"I will continue west. I smell the little hanyou."

"There's a familiar hatchling down this way, too." Inuyasha waved to the right. "I can't place them, but I need to save them anyway."

"Go then, and be careful."

Inuyasha nodded, squeezed Sesshoumaru's wrist, and crept down the eastern path. Sesshoumaru watched for an instant, then turned his feet towards the west.

_'Be safe, Inuyasha.'_

* * *

Inuyasha followed the path down to what looked like a prison. Manacles on the walls, chains all about, and the iron taste of blood in the air. With a shudder, he followed the familiar child's scent along the wall. Then, another familiar odor reached his nostrils, and Inuyasha stopped dead.

In an instant, he was thirteen again, blinded by pain and struggling to escape a much larger being. Talons cutting his shoulder, weakening him with their poison, fetid breath on his ears, a crushing weight pinning him down. _"Pretty little half-breed, all mine now."_

And pain, oh, Kami, the pain.

A small whine cut through his memories.

"S-stop!"

"You're such a pretty little thing."

_'Such a pretty little thing ….'_

Inuyasha's blood turned to fire in his veins. 

"My master has a thing for half-breeds. Likes a little… _variety_ in his conquests, the prince does. He asked for you especially. Don't you feel lucky?"

"Don't! I wanna go home!"

"Oh, but you're going to a new home now. Leather and silks every night, serving your prince any way he wants, a nice big bedroom to live in. Once I finish breaking you in, of c—"

Inuyasha slammed through the door, grabbed the dragon beast off a pale-skinned, sobbing child, and slammed the monster against the wall.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't choke you on your own dick, fuckface."

The dragon's glowing yellow eyes fixed on him and widened. "Ah. My favorite little pretty puppy, back for more? I can make it worth your wh—"

Inuyasha growled and dug his claws deeper into the demon's neck, cutting off his vile words.

"Wrong answer." 

Tessaiga cut the air, and the dragon screeched in agony.

* * *

Sesshoumaru tracked the faint sound of voices around a long wall of manacles and chains. He freed two small hatchlings and one fledgling ibis youkai and led the group behind him. 

"Stay silent and out of sight, little ones."

The youths obeyed, eyes puffy from crying, and Sesshoumaru walked on. He dispatched a guard with his signature silent efficiency and led on. The young ones skirted around the corpse, their eyes wide and afraid and their bodies trembling.

Sesshoumaru freed another youth, a teenage leopard boy, and killed the guard in the next room without a sound. 

Beyond, the voices came into range at last.

"Filthy stinking half-breed! I don't understand what the prince sees in things like you! You're ugly and weak! I think it's time he had some _real_ youkai."

Sesshoumaru motioned for the young ones to stay back and entered the next room. The lizard he had attacked earlier in the day had the little hanyou chained against the wall and was punching, kicking, cutting, and biting everything in reach.

"Prince won't think you're so pretty now, huh? Worthless, stupid, ugly—"

Sesshoumaru grabbed the foul thing by the base of the neck, jerked him around to face him, and lifted the lizard up by the throat before the ugly bastard could utter another syllable.

"I am quite sure I warned you to pray I never met you again this side of the afterlife, you repulsive fool."

The lizard squeaked. "Sesshoumaru-dono! I-I'm just doing my job. Getting rid of the filth in our bloodlines, you know how it—" 

Sesshoumaru squeezed until his words stopped. "The only filth I see in the room is you." 

With effortless skill, he punched through the youkai's ribcage and ripped his heart out, the one blow a reptilian youkai could not recover from. The beast gave one shrill squeak, dark blood dribbled down his mouth, and he expired with a croak. Sesshoumaru kicked the corpse away. "Vile wretch. Rot in hell." He wiped his hand on the bastard's hakama and eased the injured little hanyou into his arms.

"Shh. You are safe now, little one. I will carry you home."

The hanyou clung to his fur and wept. Sesshoumaru flew back down the hall towards the east, the other youths running in his wake. 

The sound of a snarling youkai and Inuyasha's feral scent set his heart crashing through his feet.

"Kami, no." Sesshoumaru passed the hanyou to the leopard. "Keep him safe. He is as worthy of life as any of you."

The leopard sniffled and nodded. "He's my friend."

"Good. Stay here. Do _not_ come near unless you must."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-dono."

Sesshoumaru patted him once and flew in his energy form at top speed. He found a fully-demonic Inuyasha tearing what looked to have once been a dragon youkai to shreds. In a corner just beyond, the white-haired mixed breed who had so fascinated Inuyasha earlier huddled and sobbed desperately, Tessaiga clutched in his small, shaking hands.

The boy cried, "Help!"

Sesshoumaru nodded and moved towards him, keeping Inuyasha in his sights, but stopped at the feel of a heavy object bouncing off his foot. He glanced down in time to see the dragon's severed head roll face-up and stop a pace away. Dead, dull-yellow eyes stared at nothing, frozen in an expression of agony and horror, and a tube of violet flesh, bloody and raw, hung limp out of one side of the demon's mouth.

Grim understanding washed over Sesshoumaru, and the daiyoukai made sure to crush the monster's face under heel on his way to his brother. _Both_ heels.

Sesshoumaru crept to the boy and whispered, "I need his sword, little one. It keeps him under control."

The little lizard boy shuddered and reluctantly handed the sword to him. "D-don't hurt me."

Sesshoumaru squeezed his shoulder briefly and turned to the snarling form of his brother. The hanyou hadn't stopped tearing into the dragon, though he hardly had anything left to shred by this point. 

"Inuyasha!"

His sharp cry brought the hanyou's attention around, but Sesshoumaru smacked him in the head with the flat before he gathered enough energy to leap.

"Enough! He is _dead_ , Inuyasha! You have hardly left anything but gore of his corpse." As the red bled out of Inuyasha's eyes, Sesshoumaru softened his tone. "Yasha-kun, peace. It is over now. I am here, you are free and safe, and he will never hurt you, nor anyone else, again."

A soft whimper escaped Inuyasha's throat. "A-aniki…." Tears ran down his face, washing blood away in their wake.

Sesshoumaru swept him into his arms and cleaned his face with gentle canine kisses. "Shh. You are free now. He will never hurt you again. It is over, otouto."

Inuyasha buried a few quiet tears in his fur. "I'm s-sorry. He—I was thirteen, and he—"

"I know." Sesshoumaru kissed Inuyasha's head. "I know what that foul excuse for a demon did to you, but it is over now. You are safe. You are free."

Inuyasha shuddered and nuzzled his face into Sesshoumaru's cheek. "I got him. I finally got the bastard."

"You did. I am glad of it, but we shall speak of it later. We need to get the younglings to safety before anyone else comes."

"Y-yeah. Sorry."

"I understand your anger if not your pain, otouto." Sesshoumaru kissed Inuyasha's forehead. "Are you calm now?"

"Yeah. I hope I didn't traumatize the poor kid too much. I just couldn't stand it."

"I know."

The child called, "Um, I-Inu-san? T-thank you."

"Inuyasha, kid. What's your name?"

The little boy wiped his eyes. "Hideki."

"Okay, Hideki. Can you trust me or Sesshoumaru to carry you out of here?"

Hideki paused. "That, that monster, he was going to hurt me."

Inuyasha grimaced. "Yeah. If I hadn't come sooner…."

Hideki sniffled. "Then, then I'll come with—with you. You won't hurt me, right?"

Inuyasha winced. "Kid, listen to me. When I was barely older than you, that—that vile piece of shit a-attacked me. He tore me to pieces inside, and there was no one to save me."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes against a sudden surge of grief. Fuck. He had well and truly failed his chosen mate, hadn't he?

"So when I saw him attacking you," Inuyasha went on, "when he tried to hurt you just like he hurt me—I snapped. I'm sorry I scared you, kid."

The boy sniffled. "He h-hurt you?"

"Yeah. Badly. And, so I—"

"I get it. It's okay." The boy staggered to Inuyasha and reached for him.

Inuyasha grimaced at the sight of his gory front and crimson hands. "Ugh. Sorry. What a mess."

Sesshoumaru licked his hands as clean as they had time for. Inuyasha watched, eyes wide and cheeks red. 

"There. We will wash the rest in a stream before we return, but we cannot afford to wait any longer, otouto. I would give you my fur, but Hiro needs it more."

Inuyasha shrugged out of his haori and tied it around his waist instead, leaving him in his hakama and kosode. "That'll do for now. You okay to let me carry you like this, Hideki-kun?"

"Yes, Inuyasha-san, just get me out of here. Please. I'm so s-scared." The boy sniffled and covered tears, and Inuyasha caught him up into his arms. 

"Shh. I have you. You're okay now." Inuyasha blinked hard and rubbed circles into the shaking child's back. "I was able to save you, at least."

"Yes, and you spared many others a terrible fate." Sesshoumaru stroked Inuyasha's cheek and smoothed the little boy's hair. "Come, otouto. We must return to the younglings. Hiro is terribly injured, and the others are frightened."

Inuyasha choked back a growl. "Those twisted bastards. Once we get the kids out, we're demolishing this entire cave system, aniki."

"Yes. Come, let us hurry then and finish clearing the cavern so we may scrub this hole of filth from the face of the earth." 

"Yeah. Sounds good."

* * *

Aki was waiting along with Hiro's mother when Inuyasha arrived with Hideki asleep in his arms and Hiro shaking against Sesshoumaru's chest. The daiyoukai had tried to be gentle with the hanyou boy, but Hiro was still in rough shape when they arrived.

Aki cried, "Oh, _Hiro_!" 

Both female lizards raced to Sesshoumaru, tears in their eyes. Sesshoumaru eased the boy down a little so the women could see him.

"Forgive me. We came as fast as we could."

Hiro buried his face in Sesshoumaru's neck. "You and Inuyasha-dono saved me. That mean iguana was gonna kill me just because the prince likes half-breeds."

Inuyasha shuddered. "One, don't ever call yourself a half-breed. You're a hanyou, and there's nothing wrong with it. It's the rest of the idiots in the world that are wrong. And two, stay away from the dragon prince, kid. _Far_ away."

Aki paled. "Oh, Inuyasha-dono, the noble behind it, it's the _prince_?"

"Yeah. He likes hanyou and mixed youkai a bit _too_ much, so make sure you keep a close eye on Hiro and Hideki especially. Hideki came _far_ too close tonight before I could get to him." Inuyasha stroked the boy's hair, soothing him unconsciously. "He's probably going to need help recovering. Well, they all will, really."

Aki cringed. "Kami help us. We'll see to it that they're taken care of." She lifted Hiro from Sesshoumaru's arms and patted the boy's back, her touch gentle. "There now. All safe."

The boy's mother, a chameleon youkai, hugged them both and wept into Hiro's hair. 

"Arigatou gozaimashita," the mother sobbed. "Oh, my lords, arigatou for my baby's life."

Inuyasha patted her shoulder. "You're a good youkai to love him like you do. Make sure you stay by him, yeah? He's gonna need his okaasan."

Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's hair and Hideki's shoulder. The boy snuggled closer, and Inuyasha closed his eyes around a deep pang of grief and the too-familiar ache of loss.

"I-I will." Hiro's mother rubbed her eyes and gave them a tearful smile. "My name is Michiko, daimyo. If you ever need anything—well, we don't have much, but anything I can offer, it's yours."

"Arigatou, but we're fine," said Inuyasha. "The best thing you can do is make sure your boy grows up with the same kind of compassion you show for him. Make sure he stays safe and knows he's loved. Make sure these kids know to treat him well, too. That's the best thing you can do for me. The Kami know we hanyou have it rough, but as long as Hiro has a home and people who love him as he is, he'll be okay."

"We'll make sure he does." Aki bowed in thanks. "Arigatou gozaimashita, daimyo." She kissed the mother's cheek. "Michiko, take care of Hiro. I'll help the lords get the other young ones home and come back once they're safe."

"Yes, be careful, love." Michiko licked Aki's cheek and took Hiro into her arms. "Say goodbye and thank the lords, Hiro."

"I did, Okaasan." Hiro bowed as best as he could anyway. "Arigatou gozaimashita, Sesshoumaru-dono, Inuyasha-dono. Goodbye, and good luck on your journeys."

"Get well soon, Hiro-kun. Goodbye, kid." Inuyasha patted him gently. Sesshoumaru bowed in his elegant fashion and gave the same farewell. 

As they walked away with Aki, Inuyasha hoped the little hanyou and the boy who reminded him too much of what he had lost would be all right from then on. Considering Sesshoumaru had entirely destroyed the cave system prison, perhaps they would. 

Now they just had to hunt down that twisted fucker of a prince and bring him to justice. That, Inuyasha feared, would be a much more difficult task, especially with time working against them.

Ten more days.


	9. Parting Words

#  **Chapter 9**

##  _Parting Words_

Killing one of the monsters who had hurt him had eased some of Inuyasha's fear of the dragon kingdom, if not of his approaching heat. At least his nightmares had eased a bit.

Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, had started whimpering in his sleep every night.

Inuyasha woke from a dream of Shippou with the vague idea that something was wrong. Two-hundred years alone and hunted had taught him never to ignore that instinct. He rubbed his eyes and sat, ears pricked for the slightest noise.

Rustling sounded next to him, and Inuyasha sighed in sympathy. It had to be that dragon demon they had lost track of that had sparked Sesshoumaru's nightmares, or perhaps coming face-to-face with the reality of what Inuyasha had endured. Either way, Sesshoumaru needed help.

Inuyasha crawled to his brother's side and stroked his hair back from his face. It struck him as he brushed the daiyoukai's hair behind his pointed ears just how stunning his brother truly was. Kami, had there ever been a youkai so beautiful? 

He shook his head at the tenor of his own thoughts and focused on bringing Sesshoumaru out of his terror instead.

"Aniki, aniki, wake up. It's just a dream."

Sesshoumaru bolted up and gasped, "Inuyasha! Where—?"

"Here, aniki. I'm right here. It was just a bad dream."

Sesshoumaru shivered and rubbed his face. "I thought…."

"Yeah. What were you dreaming about?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "It hardly matters. It was not real."

"Maybe, but ever since we started hunting this dragon prince down, you've been having nightmares. Want to tell me what's going on?"

"I suppose I should." Sesshoumaru stared into the distance, golden eyes haunted. "Two years ago, I traveled to the far northern isle on a diplomatic mission. I had stopped outside the royal city to let Jaken and Ah-Un rest and hunt for my pack, but game was scarce. After some long hours, I found a herd of sika deer and brought one back for them."

Sesshoumaru clenched his fists and took a shaky breath, and Inuyasha had the dreadful feeling he knew exactly where this story was headed.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, and the scent of salt on the air made Inuyasha's heart twist. 

"I came back to a massacre," Sesshoumaru whispered. "I could not even recognize them in—in the pieces."

"Oh, _fuck_! Sesshoumaru…."

"I had to identify the last of my pack by their scent alone, because there was nothing else le—" Sesshoumaru looked away, and Inuyasha tugged him into his arms. 

"I'm here, aniki," he murmured into Sesshoumaru's hair. Sesshoumaru nudged his head into the crook of Inuyasha's neck and shuddered.

"I had not realized how much they meant to me until they were gone. The last remnants of a family I cannot resurrect, not even with Tensaiga."

Inuyasha stroked Sesshoumaru's hair and held him close, anything to take that shamed, bitter pain from his tone. Kami, it hurt to hear his stoic older brother in so much agony.

"I arrived too late to save them," Sesshoumaru went on in a shaky tone that swiftly shifted into a growl. "And that _beast—_ the powerful dragon from the caves—his scent was all over the campsite."

" _Fuck_! That bastard killed them? No wonder you went feral!" 

Inuyasha reeled, horror warring with the urge to hunt the bastard down and mount his head on a stake. What an utter piece of _shit_. 

"Yes. And then, when he took Hiro and Hideki and the others, when I saw your terror and pain that night, I hated him all the more." Sesshoumaru shuddered and buried his face in a shaking hand. "I have failed everyone I have ever loved."

"Aniki…."

Inuyasha hugged Sesshoumaru close and, after a bit of indecision, licked his cheeks and temples as Sesshoumaru often did for Inuyasha when grief overwhelmed him. Sesshoumaru watched with golden eyes dark with pain, and Inuyasha wished he knew how to heal it. 

"If it means anything," he said in halting tones, "I—I'm proud of you. I know you turned away from that dragon's scent to save the kids. You did the right thing, Sesshoumaru, and fifteen innocent kids are safe again because of your compassion for them. So, you saved a lot of little lives, and that means so much, to them, and to me."

Sesshoumaru nodded, but the pain did not leave his eyes. "I could not save my pack."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, aniki."

"Inuyasha, stay." Sesshoumaru rested his head on Inuyasha's shoulder. "Stay with me."

"Y-yeah."

But in a few more days, he would have no choice but to leave, at least for a while. Guilt squirmed in his chest. It was only for his heat. Once it was over, they would be fine.

Wouldn't they?

* * *

As the final days before the solstice approached, Inuyasha's nightmares returned. His daiyoukai companion, for all his gentle nature these days, would change under the influence of heat. All alphas did. Sesshoumaru would probably fight it, would probably try to protect his otouto as long as he could, but he would fail eventually, and he could _easily_ overpower Inuyasha when that happened. 

If Inuyasha couldn't drive him off in the next three days, he would either be forced to trust his brother's word and honour despite the powerful draw of heat pheromones, or he would have to lock himself in a cave somewhere and pray Sesshoumaru didn't force his way in. Even better, they had yet to leave dragon country, and the presence of reptilian youkai nearby when heat had already started to shift Inuyasha's hormones left him in a constant state of barely-constrained panic. Fuck, this was not good.

He woke from a dream of being pinned down and stabbed by a demon with multiple _appendages_ and gagged. "Oh, Kami, make it stop."

Sesshoumaru was already at his side, stroking his hair and ears. Inuyasha crawled away and put up his hands in warning when his brother tried to approach.

"Don't. Please, don't."

Sesshoumaru stilled, expression blank as always but eyes reflecting hurt and confusion. "Have I hurt you?"

Inuyasha shook his head and struggled to breathe. "Can't… stand… on my… skin. Still feel them… everywhere."

Sesshoumaru winced. "Inuyasha, I—"

Inuyasha snapped, "For fuck's sake, give me a minute, aniki!"

Sesshoumaru sat before him with a closed-off expression, the only indication he usually gave when Inuyasha had hurt him.

After taking a moment to gather his wits, Inuyasha sighed and reached for Sesshoumaru's hand. "I'm sorry. It's not you."

Sesshoumaru nodded tersely, still miffed, but he did take Inuyasha's hand. 

"It was—the dream was terrible, aniki. I was… f-fourteen again, and they cornered me, and I was too small to escape. One of them, a dragon, he had—oh, Kami—more than one—" He choked, unable to go on, but by the horror in Sesshoumaru's eyes and the slight scent of salt on the wind, his brother understood too well.

The daiyoukai's hand trembled in Inuyasha's palm. "Inuyasha, I swear I will never force myself upon you."

Inuyasha whimpered. Maybe not in normal situations, but in three more days, he might well not be able to stop himself.

Sesshoumaru winced. "You truly still think so little of me, otouto? I realize I have made terrible mistakes with you, but I have never touched you in that manner without consent."

Inuyasha huffed. "You kissed me and licked my ears."

"You _know_ my intent was not sexual. I was trying to save your life."

Inuyasha dropped his head at the hurt in Sesshoumaru's voice. "Yeah. I-I'm sorry. I do trust you, aniki. It's just—it's hard not to be scared after those dreams. It's hard to think clearly for awhile. Everything feels like a threat, even when the rational part of me knows better."

Sesshoumaru rubbed the back of his thumb across Inuyasha's palm. "You have become much less defensive of your heart over the years, otouto. Do you think you could bring yourself to speak to me about it?"

Inuyasha shot him a dark look. "Like you talk to me about your feelings?"

Sesshoumaru hesitated. "I do, Inuyasha. I am naturally aloof, but when something _does_ trouble me, I do try to speak to you about it."

Inuyasha flinched. Damn. So he had. With much greater ease than Inuyasha could speak of his own heart.

He shuddered and clung to Sesshoumaru's hand. "I'm sorry. You're right, but… my dreams would hurt you, aniki. Badly. This isn't even the worst one. Not by far."

Sesshoumaru's breath caught. "Inuyasha…."

Inuyasha shook off the last of his touch revulsion and crawled into Sesshoumaru's arms. "Sesshoumaru, I need…."

Sesshoumaru made his purring sound and licked the tears from Inuyasha's face. Inuyasha slumped into Sesshoumaru with a little whine of relief. He had no idea why this strange little ritual did so much to ease his pain, but it did.

Sesshoumaru tucked Inuyasha into his arms after he had calmed. "Are you well now?"

The hanyou nuzzled under Sesshoumaru's chin. For some reason, that touch always soothed his oniisan. Pack instinct, he figured.

"Better."

"You are still frightened."

Inuyasha didn't answer, but by the gentle laps at his temple, he knew Sesshoumaru sensed it anyway. The canine kisses did help, in a way, but they made him nervous, too. Sesshoumaru wouldn't be shaken easily.

There had to be _something_ Inuyasha could do to send Sesshoumaru away for a week. Just one week. Telling him about his heat would only make the daiyoukai more determined to guard him, and if Inuyasha fully trusted him, he might welcome the daiyoukai's strong presence to ward threats away, but he hadn't forgotten the past, and it still held sway over his fears. If Sesshoumaru turned vicious again, if he couldn't resist the draw of the heat, Inuyasha would be defenseless against him.

"A-aniki, if, if I asked you for some time to myself, would you give me a few days? Just a few days, I swear."

Sesshoumaru breathed in sharply. "Ah. So yours comes in midwinter."

Inuyasha stiffened, every nerve on alert. "My what? What are you talking about?"

"Otouto. I can smell it. Your heat begins on the solstice, doesn't it?"

Inuyasha whimpered. "A-aniki, _please_."

Sesshoumaru tilted Inuyasha's chin up. "If you can trust me, I will help you through it. Nothing without consent. Only aid so you do not suffer alone."

Inuyasha gave a whine of terror, tears pooling in his eyes. "That's—Kami, no. That's exactly what I'm afraid of."

Sesshoumaru let Inuyasha's chin fall and moved back. His expression closed off and his posture went back to the defensive, guarded strength he had used when they were enemies. 

In an instant, his heart had closed to his brother completely.

"Very well. I will guard you from beyond the range of your scent."

Without another word, he walked away and vanished into the trees. When the scent of youki and lightning vanished with him a short while later, Inuyasha realized just how badly he had hurt him.

And yet, he couldn't take it back. He couldn't trust an alpha. Any alpha. Sesshoumaru had become gentle and loving, and, in everyday moments, Inuyasha trusted him with his life, but heat warped alphas. Just as it turned Inuyasha into a fearful, needful, weakened mess, it turned alphas into sex-crazed monsters, and he would never let himself fall into that trap again.

Not even for Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha already missed his presence and scent. Guilt bled him and his spirit ached without Sesshoumaru to hold him and ease his pain. He hadn't realized how important touch was to inu youkai until he had it. He hadn't realized how important his relationship with his aniki had become until Sesshoumaru walked away. Again. 

But he could do nothing about it now. In ten days, perhaps, he could try to repair the broken trust between them. Kami, he hoped Sesshoumaru would forgive him.

A warm touch on his shoulder shocked him, and he turned to realize Sesshoumaru had left his mokomoko with Inuyasha. As comfort or guard, he didn't know, but its presence served both to heal his misery and double his guilt. Even now, Sesshoumaru couldn't leave him alone.

Given what had happened to Jaken and Ah-Un, Inuyasha supposed it made sense. Sesshoumaru could feel touch through his fur, after all. Should Inuyasha run into trouble and yank it, the daiyoukai would know, probably, that he needed help.

And Sesshoumaru's scent would keep him safe. 

At least, Inuyasha hoped it would.

"Aniki…."

He hadn't wanted to hurt him, but neither could he trust Sesshoumaru with his most vulnerable moments when the mere scent of him would send his much more powerful brother feral.

No. He couldn't endure it again.

Not even for the alpha Inuyasha knew he loved.

"Forgive me, aniki." He curled the fur about his shoulders, broke camp, and began the search for a safe place to weather the next ten days alone.


	10. Burning Bonds

#  **Chapter 10**

##  _Burning Bonds_

Sesshoumaru didn't return until the day Inuyasha's heat would begin. He had a bag over his shoulder and a stack of thatch mats under his arm, but his expression remained as cold and unmoveable as it had been in the days they had spent their lives trying to kill each other. 

Inuyasha's chest hurt at the sight, but the old fear and distrust of alphas and the dizzying terror the heat forced on him wouldn't let him come near.

"I have found a safe place for you to hide during your heat. The mats tie onto a frame and are soaked with my own scent and youki. It should overpower your scent and deter any foolish youkai stupid enough to approach in spite of it. I think even I will not sense you over it, so you can rest assured I will have no reason to maul you in your sleep."

He turned away and stalked towards the north, and Inuyasha felt like an ass for not trusting him. Had he really gone so far to protect him? Inuyasha couldn't quite believe an alpha wouldn't take advantage of his weaknesses when he could smell the changes in Inuyasha long before then, even if part of him knew he was being an irrational jerk and Sesshoumaru wasn't underhanded by nature—and more so, that his brother had gone out of his way to heal the breach between them. Even so, he couldn't let his fears go. Sesshoumaru had become a devoted, gentle brother, but he was still an alpha, and alphas had a biological imperative to dominate.

Inuyasha couldn't, wouldn't submit to any alpha. Never. He would never be so used, never claimed.

And those mats, those mats drenched in the scent and youki of an alpha both more powerful and more experienced than himself—it could be nothing but a claim. Sesshoumaru might not even intend it for that purpose, but what alpha wouldn't respond to an omega in heat and marked all over by his scent?

No. That screen would definitely not stay in place long. Inuyasha had survived his heat unmolested for two hundred years. He would survive this one, too.

* * *

Sesshoumaru led Inuyasha to a cave with a spring and pool inside. The hanyou had to admit the closed-off cavern on a protected bluff with a narrow mouth and a high entry point would make an ideal hiding place to weather the next week or so. Almost nothing could reach him there. 

Nothing but his daiyoukai brother.

Inuyasha accepted the cavern cautiously and watched as Sesshoumaru removed a set of furs, eating utensils, a cup, and various other necessities from the bag he carried. He arranged them around the cavern without ever saying a word or so much as glancing at his brother. The oppressive aura hurt, but Inuyasha refused to drop his guard. 

Sesshoumaru left again without acknowledging him, and that hurt, too, but Inuyasha couldn't help but feel relieved. The daiyoukai hadn't screened him in. The mats still lay useless at the cave entrance.

He sighed and settled onto the furs. He would probably have a lot of apologizing to do once his heat ended, but Sesshoumaru couldn't understand. He had never been weakened a day in his life, never vulnerable—

An image of Sesshoumaru on his knees, clutching the bleeding stump of his arm flickered through his mind. The daiyoukai had glared at him for it, of course, but—but when Inuyasha applied his new understanding of his brother's expressions to that memory, still sharp and clear in his mind over a hundred and forty years later, he realized he had shown more than just anger. 

Sesshoumaru had been terrified. Terrified and hurt and vulnerable. _Weakened_.

And hadn't Inuyasha saved Sesshoumaru's life before, too? The one time Naraku's venom had overcome his brother's natural resistance, Sesshoumaru had been weak and terrified then, too. He had scoffed and staggered off after waking in the care of Inuyasha's pack, but again, Inuyasha's new knowledge colored and altered his interpretations of that day. He had thought Sesshoumaru had been angry and disgusted that the dirty hanyou and his human friends had saved him, but looking back now, he understood better. 

Sesshoumaru had been ashamed. Ashamed to be so weak, and ashamed that the one who had saved his life had every right in the world to kill him instead. Ashamed of his own behavior too, probably. 

Come to think of it, he had changed after that night. He hadn't attacked Inuyasha again, and when Inuyasha came after him, he had stopped at defending himself and walking away. 

Those memories, too, began to shift in the hanyou's perception. Sesshoumaru had left at first out of anger and confusion, but as time went on, his face had shown weariness. Sorrow. A desire to make amends and no idea how to bridge the gap. Resignation that he probably never could.

Inuyasha gave a shuddering breath and flopped back onto the furs, his mind struggling with all this new information. 

He had said Sesshoumaru had never shown Inuyasha that he cared over the past century and a half, and it _was_ true that he hadn't done anything obvious, at least not until that night in the field, but the more Inuyasha looked back, the more he realized he, himself, had been at fault, too. The more he looked back, the more he realized Sesshoumaru hadn't tried to apologize or make attempts at reparations sooner because he knew damn well Inuyasha would have only rebuffed him. He knew it was too late, and nothing he could do would ever be seen as he meant it. Even now, he knew it.

It was why he hadn't spoken the night of Rin's funeral, probably. Strange that the same thoughts had likely run through them both that night. Then Hikari's funeral—Inuyasha had thought his brother must have had some previously unknown bond to the woman, but Sesshoumaru had said their bond was complicated. Maybe he had come for Inuyasha's sake instead. Maybe like Inuyasha had offered silent support during Rin's funeral, Sesshoumaru had wanted to do the same for him.

And that challenge in the forest, it had pissed Inuyasha off and hurt him at the time, but looking back, he thought his brother might have been scared. He might have been trying to get a rise out of Inuyasha because an angry hanyou brother had more life and spirit than the grief-stricken being he had become by that point in his existence. 

Yes, the more he thought on that memory, the more he realized that his brother had been trying to rouse him that night, to shake him out of his despair the only way he knew how.

The only way Inuyasha had _allowed him_.

And then, though it hurt to think of it, Inuyasha had to consider the night Sesshoumaru had dropped to his knees before him and submitted himself entirely to Inuyasha's mercy. Gods. He still couldn't believe Sesshoumaru had done it. The idea of submitting to a murderously angry omega, one damn near as powerful as himself—even to the point of offering his body for the exact use Inuyasha feared he might take from him— _fuck_. Alphas didn't submit. It wasn't in their biology.

Yet Sesshoumaru had done it for him.

Damn. Sesshoumaru had really given his all to fix this, and Inuyasha, in his anger and pride and mistrust of alphas, hadn't been willing to see it. Hadn't even been willing to admit his humanity until Sesshoumaru offered his life and body on his knees to Inuyasha.

Well, fuck. So this might actually be far more Inuyasha's fault than Sesshoumaru's.

That didn't bear thinking about.

A small sound in the entryway startled Inuyasha out of his thoughts. Sesshoumaru had returned with two sika deer slung over his shoulders. He set them upon the ground. 

"Skin these while I am gone." He said nothing else and disappeared again. 

In a spirit of guilt, because maybe Inuyasha really had been an ass to judge his brother so harshly after Sesshoumaru had been trying so hard, the hanyou obeyed.

When Sesshoumaru returned this time, he carried two entire trees with him—one young katsura and a raggedy, wind-stunted, half-dead pine. An axe hung from his waist next to his swords. His clothes clung to his body and his hair hung in loose clumps. He had bathed then, but wouldn't it have made more sense to use the spring there rather than—oh. No, he couldn't have bathed there, not with Inuyasha treating him as though he would rape him at any moment.

Fuck. He was an utter idiot. 

Sesshoumaru laid the katsura by the door and carried the pine further inside. A natural opening towards the back of the cavern made for a decent smokehole. He set the pine there, apparently thinking this would be a hearth. 

Inuyasha didn't argue it. He wasn't at all sure what to say. He _had_ been too harsh, yes, but he still didn't want Sesshoumaru to stay. Whether Sesshoumaru was honorable or not, heat in such close quarters would still likely overwhelm him, and Inuyasha couldn't let himself be claimed. Couldn't give in to _any_ alpha.

Even one as gentle as Sesshoumaru had become.

Sesshoumaru grabbed one of the tatami mats, one woven more loosely than the rest, and vanished again. Scraping and thumps above the smokehole told Inuyasha the daiyoukai was covering the hole to keep the snow out of the cavern without keeping in the smoke. By the time he reappeared, Inuyasha had finished washing his claws of the deer's blood.

"If you give me your hakama and haori," Sesshoumaru said without looking at him, "I will clean them for you outside so you do not soil the spring when you wash. You may, of course, keep your kosode unless it is also soaked through."

Inuyasha's ears dropped at the pain in his tone. The way he refused to look at him even now. 

"No," he said in a subdued tone. "My robe doesn't often let anything in underneath." Unless one tore poison claws through it, but Inuyasha refrained from bringing that up when his brother was already hurting. He slipped off his outer layers and, with a little hesitation, passed them into his brother's open hand. 

The daiyoukai took them and left without ever looking at Inuyasha. 

Inuyasha stared at his feet, chest aching and stomach heavy with guilt. He hadn't meant to cut Sesshoumaru _this_ deeply. It was only that he knew damn well what heat did to alphas. It—it was just safer to remove temptation from Sesshoumaru's proximity. That was all. 

Wasn't it?

While Sesshoumaru was gone, Inuyasha made himself useful by chopping the old pine into firewood. Sesshoumaru returned with Inuyasha's wet fire rat robe before he finished. He sat the robe on a stone outcropping near the hearth and grabbed a rock he had brought with him. 

The smell of his poison jerked Inuyasha's head up in surprise, but Sesshoumaru was only melting through the stone to make a hole in the cavern wall. He washed the venom clear once it grew to the proper size, then jammed the longish, curved rock into the hole to make a hook. He hung the fire rat haori and hakama from it, then sat at the entrance and began tying the tatami mats together.

Inuyasha paused to watch him, trepidation building in his gut. What did he honestly mean to do with them?

A voice echoed in his head, _"If I wanted more, I would simply take it."_

But it offered no comfort. This might well _be_ Sesshoumaru's way of taking it.

_"I would court you directly, not bother with oblique gestures and hidden meanings."_

But _was_ this courting him? _Was_ it announcing intent? Some other canine ritual he didn't understand? Inuyasha didn't know, and without some hint of truth he could trust, he couldn't trust that screen either.

Still, he allowed Sesshoumaru to finish it. While the daiyoukai worked on the screen, Inuyasha finished chopping the dead parts of the pine and cut some of the greener, longer branches to form poles for a spit and a rack for smoking. Sesshoumaru pushed a pile of twine his way without a word. Inuyasha took it, but he couldn't stand the silence any longer. With a sigh, he rested his head against his brother's shoulders and held the daiyoukai's arms.

"Sesshoumaru, I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't just—I know you aren't that cruel."

Sesshoumaru didn't push him back, but he didn't welcome him either.

"You do not trust me regardless, otouto. I can smell your fear."

Inuyasha whimpered and let his ears drop. "You don't know what I endured, aniki. You don't understand what the heat—"

"I understand enough to know when I am not wanted, Inuyasha."

The hanyou whined and nuzzled his aniki's neck, but the daiyoukai simply eased him back and looked away. 

"There is little time if I am to be out of range before nightfall, otouto. Please finish preparing your cooking hearth so I know if more twine is needed and how many hearthstones to gather."

Inuyasha stood by his aniki's side for a moment, hardly believing he had pushed his attempt at an apology away. After everything they had been through the past six months, this was how it ended?

"Fine," Inuyasha gritted out. "Be that way."

The sorrow and resignation in his aniki's eyes hurt more than fury would have, more than a scoffing dismissal. Inuyasha's ears fell again, and he thought maybe he should borrow from Sesshoumaru's book and just stay silent if he couldn't say anything to take the pain from his brother's eyes.

His vision blurred as he sat before the cooking hearth, so much he couldn't continue until he wiped his eyes. But the tears didn't stop, and Inuyasha had barely made any progress when Sesshoumaru finished with the mats. 

A soft sigh sounded behind him, and a light kiss brushed his hair. "Otouto, you asked me not to stay near you when your heat begins. There is, perhaps, an hour left before nightfall. I am only trying to respect your wishes."

"No, you aren't. Or not completely. You're pushing me away."

"Am I, Inuyasha? Am I truly?"

Inuyasha winced. Maybe Sesshoumaru had a point.

"I—no. Aniki, I'm sorry. Will—will you still be here when this is over?"

Sesshoumaru nuzzled his face into Inuyasha's neck. "Do you want me to be?"

" _Obviously_ , I'm not happy with the thought of losing you."

Sesshoumaru hugged Inuyasha close. "All I am asking is for your trust."

But that was difficult to give, when Sesshoumaru had hurt him so badly in the past. When it was Sesshoumaru's abandonment that had caused Inuyasha's nightmares, the reason his only pups had died before they saw the sun. The memory of Hideki cut like a sword through his heart, and Inuyasha choked on grief and confusion.

"I—I'll try, aniki."

Sesshoumaru slumped against him, and even without seeing his face, Inuyasha knew it sprung from defeat rather than relief. The daiyoukai held him tighter for an instant, then turned away and returned to his tatami screen without a word. 

Inuyasha felt as though he had murdered something. Perhaps he had.

His brother's hope had just died in his arms.

* * *

Sesshoumaru finished the screen just as the light turned pink and gold. "I will leave you to cover the entrance with this after I am gone." The look in his eyes told Inuyasha he knew his brother had no intention of using it. "If you have need of me, I will be in close enough range to hear a howl." He gave Inuyasha one last look full of unspoken anguish and turned away.

"Sesshoumaru?"

The daiyoukai paused at the cave entrance but didn't look back. 

"Arigatou."

Sesshoumaru nodded once and vanished in a glowing ball of youki. He was gone before Inuyasha could utter another word.

With a sigh, Inuyasha stared at the completed screen, left it where it stood beside the cave entrance, and settled in to wait.

* * *

The first day passed in mild discomfort. He imagined it felt like Kagome's menses had, uncomfortable and annoying, but not debilitating. The scent of lightning never entered his range.

The second day was much worse. The peak of his grief-tainted heats had felt like this, with a deep ache inside and strange, unsatisfied desire rendering him weak and shaky.

Kami help him. If this was only the second day, he might not survive his heat alone after all.

The third day added fever and pain all over to his cocktail of misery. He spent most of the day dragging himself between the spring, his furs, and the food, only stirring from his routine when nature demanded he crawl outside the cave. 

Fear began to set in. Had his heats ever been _this_ bad? Even before Kagome, he had never suffered like _this_.

Why had it gotten so bad? Maybe it was something to do with a powerful alpha's scent so close, or the fact that said alpha had accepted him into his pack? But Inuyasha hadn't submitted to him. He hadn't chosen Sesshoumaru, and that had to mean _something_ , didn't it?

Omegas had a will and choice, too, damn it!

By day four, the misery and anguish had approached such high levels, he almost wanted to pull the screen over the opening. He wouldn't be able to fight off a high level demon like this. His brother's scent would absolutely drive away any opportunistic youkai….

But it might also mark him, and Inuyasha couldn't bear the thought. He would just have to keep Tessaiga near and pray the bit of Sesshoumaru's scent mixing with his own would be enough to protect him.

He grabbed his sword and curled up in the furs. With the fire going, perhaps the scent of smoke would drown out his pheromones.

* * *

Five days. Five days into his heat, and Inuyasha still hadn't pulled the screen over the cave entrance. It hurt Sesshoumaru more with each passing moment. He knew he had much to make up to his otouto, but to distrust him _this_ much, to think all the effort he had gone to in attempt to protect his brother despite the boy's hurtful words, Kami, it broke him. 

He had tried so hard to be what Inuyasha needed all year. He hardly recognized himself in the open, gentle alpha he had become, all for his skittish hanyou brother, and yet, Inuyasha refused to see beyond the cold-hearted bastard he had been before. 

Perhaps it was partly Sesshoumaru's fault. Much as it troubled him to think of it, his abandonment had left his little brother vulnerable and caused him unimaginable pain. For an omega to lose their pups—it killed some of them. The grief, the guilt. Even omegas with a loving mate sometimes succumbed after a miscarriage or stillbirth, and Inuyasha had had no one at all. 

His sheer resilience stunned the daiyoukai. Sometimes he wondered if he could truly call himself stronger than his half-brother. True, he had greater powers and physical strength, but Sesshoumaru wasn't sure he could have survived what Inuyasha had lived through. 

It was for that reason the daiyoukai refused to leave him behind, even though Inuyasha's mistrust broke his heart. His brother had a damn good reason to mistrust him, and six months of loving him wasn't enough to erase the memories of two centuries of hatred and one of isolation. Six months of affection wouldn't fill the void time had left behind.

Still, he had hoped Inuyasha would at least trust his honour, even if he hadn't wanted help through his heat. 

Had his brother simply turned him down and asked for space, Sesshoumaru would have granted it without question, but the terror in Inuyasha's eyes, in his voice, the fact that Inuyasha feared him even now—that hurt. Down to his soul, it hurt. Inuyasha should trust him better than that. The pack instinct alone should drive him to trust his alpha.

But Inuyasha had never fully accepted him as his alpha, had he? He had never given in to his own instincts completely, never let his guard down enough to sense the way to accept Sesshoumaru in turn, even when his fears had eased after the raid on the cave.

That knowledge hurt, too.

Would this damage their chances of ever functioning like a true pack? Would Sesshoumaru ever be able to open himself to Inuyasha fully again, knowing the hanyou couldn't even trust him to respect his honor?

The sun rose red as blood over the trees. A bad omen.

Maybe it was too late.

He watched the sky bleed red and orange and wondered what would happen to their broken little pack now.

* * *

Day five for Inuyasha dawned with a bolt of agony and a red sky, and the scent of a youkai far too close. No, not just youkai. Not at that power level. 

_Daiyoukai_.

And it wasn't his aniki. No, this was a dragon youkai.

_'The dragon prince. And I'm a goddamn hanyou!'_

Shit, shit, _shit_! He hadn't accounted for this possibility. The little bit of Sesshoumaru's scent that mixed with his own had driven off the lesser youkai, yes, but that must have just posed a challenge to the more powerful beings drifting about, and in panicking over the proximity of one daiyoukai, Inuyasha had forgotten the other. 

Suddenly, being claimed by his aniki didn't sound so bad. At least Sesshoumaru cared about him. This youkai would tear him apart, would break his spirit and use him for terrible things, and Inuyasha hadn't the strength to so much as push him away, let alone defend himself.

He acted without thought, without hesitation. He breathed in as deeply as he could, crawled nearer to the entrance of the cave, and tried to scream for help, but a clawed hand caught him first and stopped him cold.

"Well, well. What treasure have I found hidden away in the mountains?"

The dragon prince. It was too late.


	11. Old Foes

#  **Chapter 11**

##  _Old Foes_

The scent of dragon burned Inuyasha's nostrils. Oh, Kami, no. Not again. Those fuckers had strange anatomy down below, anatomy that had left him bleeding for days after the last dragon had finished with him, and that was a mid-class youkai. The prince of the dragons might just kill him before the sun rose over the trees, and even if he survived, this fucked-up bastard might try to _keep him_. 

Inuyasha whined in terror and struggled with all his might. Whether by a lucky shot or the prince's desire to toy with him, he managed to break free somehow. Gasping air into his aching lungs, he scrambled to the back of the cave and snatched up his sword. Tessaiga wouldn't save him from a beating, but if he was lucky, maybe he could castrate the bastard before he could do worse. He had enough power left for one well-timed kaze no kizu, maybe.

The prince gave a rasping laugh. "You still have some spirit. Good."

Inuyasha snarled and clutched Tessaiga in shaking hands. "Stay the fuck away from me."

The prince stepped closer, and the firelight glinted on his scaly form. Red scales, huge fangs, and glowing yellow eyes. Ropy muscles on a too-agile, reptilian frame. A purple suikan edged with green and gold covered his body, open at the back to make room for a huge pair of blood-red wings. He wore no shoes, but golden anklets and rings decorated both his taloned feet and hands.

"So you are an inu hanyou." A forked tongue flicked in and out of his mouth, and his eyes widened a bit. "Oh, now this _is_ a prize. The royal hanyou prince, and ah, such a _lovely_ specimen! I should just love to keep a little pet like you in my private collection."

Inuyasha bared his fangs. "Try it, and I'll feed you your dick just like I did to your piece of shit underling."

The dragon laughed, a sound that set every hair on Inuyasha's body on end. "Oh, so _you_ are the one who destroyed my northern complex. How delightful! I do love a powerful toy. They're much more fun to _break_."

Inuyasha barely suppressed a whine. He didn't manage to stop his tears from welling or keep his voice steady. "I-I ain't your goddamn toy, you t-twisted fucker!"

"Such a dirty mouth. I shall have to put it to better use."

"Don't even think about it, you sick fuck!"

"We will see, little hanyou." The dragon sniffed the cave. "Where is your guard dog, hm? I smell his traitorous scent, but he is not here now."

Inuyasha choked back a whine and snarled, "He ain't far, you ugly bastard. Keep your foul dick away from me or I'll cut it off!"

The dragon leered. "Which one?"

Inuyasha failed to repress a whimper. _'Aniki, please, please don't leave me to this.'_

The dragon advanced, claws out and a terrifying bulge writhing in the front of his hakama. "I think I will have to keep you for my own, hanyou. If the youkai lord is foolish enough to leave his pack unguarded, then he deserves to lose them."

Inuyasha's pitiful keen of fear turned into a full-fledged howl. 

A howl?

_"If you need me, I will be in close enough range to hear a howl."_

Inuyasha poured all his power into the sound and prayed it would reach Sesshoumaru's ears in time. 

_'Aniki! Aniki, help me!'_

* * *

Sesshoumaru sighed, disturbed by the silence. He looked away towards the mountains, their snowy peaks just visible on the southern horizon. 

The western lands. He hadn't been home in so long. Was his kingdom still safe? Maybe once Inuyasha could defend himself again, he should return for a while, just to make sure the province was still in good shape.

Images of his vassal and faithful pack beast flickered through his head, massacred for nothing but a territorial dispute and the fact that Sesshoumaru had tarried too long in returning to them. Dead, because he had left them to fend for themselves in a brutal land.

No. Even if Inuyasha never trusted him as his alpha, Sesshoumaru couldn't leave him to suffer the same fate, especially not here, where they had both lost so much and threats lurked in every shadow. He wouldn't fail Inuyasha like he had failed his—

A sharp keening pierced the silence. Forest animals called out and scrambled away from the source, and the cacophony prevented Sesshoumaru from identifying the sound immediately. 

Then, he knew. 

A howl. A terrified, desperate howl.

_'Inuyasha!'_

Sesshoumaru grabbed his sword, shifted into his energy form, and raced away as fast as his youki could carry him.

_'I am coming, otouto. Hold on!'_

* * *

Sharp claws grasped Inuyasha's kosode and threw him onto his back. Inuyasha scrambled away and aimed Tessaiga at the looming beast, but the dragon tackled him and flipped him onto his stomach before he could so much as form the first syllable of his signature attack. A sharp kick to his ribs drew a yelp from him.

"G-get off!"

But Inuyasha's struggles proved useless. He simply hadn't the strength to escape. Tears choked him, and another howl pierced the dawn, a sound of despair.

"Oh, yes. Cry, little puppy. Cry and feel a _real_ alpha take you."

Inuyasha clawed at the ground, seeking purchase in the hard stone and not caring if it broke his claws—anything to escape this cruel fate—but the demon pinned him down and tore his kosode open with sharp talons. 

A lash of fire ripped down his spine, and Inuyasha screamed. "S-Sesshoumaru! Please!"

"Your guard dog is nowhere near, foolish little hanyou. He has no time for half-breeds, but I will be sure to cherish what he threw away."

No, no. Sesshoumaru wouldn't abandon him. 

But Inuyasha had pushed him away, hadn't he? He had destroyed Sesshoumaru's hope and broken his heart.

_'Just like Otosan.'_

Inuyasha sobbed, "Sesshoumaru, aniki, please, I'm so sorry! Don't leave me!"

"Too late, puppy."

A terrible pressure rubbed and writhed between his legs, and Inuyasha howled again.

"Sesshoumaru! Aniki! _Please_!"

A low, cultured voice called, "I am here, otouto." 

Inuyasha wept in sheer relief.

* * *

Sesshoumaru stepped into Inuyasha's cave and a scene from his nightmares. His terrified, bleeding little brother struggled against the weight of a much bigger youkai, and a hook-ended triple phallus threatened to rip his body apart. 

No. _Kami_ , no! If Inuyasha had endured _this_ , no wonder he had been so terrified to let Sesshoumaru near him.

Inuyasha's desperate scream for his aniki broke Sesshoumaru out of his horror.

"I am here, otouto." He followed his words with a powerful kick straight to the youkai's offending anatomy. The dragon flew into the back wall, and Inuyasha scrambled away, Tessaiga held in shaking hands. The salt of his tears enraged Sesshoumaru, as did the scent of the daiyoukai.

A _familiar_ scent. 

So _this_ was the dragon prince. This was the monster who kept children as sex slaves and killed innocent vassals and pack animals for no reason at all. 

Sesshoumaru's youki blazed forth as hot as the sun. " _You_!" 

He drew Bakusaiga and snarled. Between the scents of Inuyasha's heat, blood, and terror and the foul smell of this murdering beast, Sesshoumaru had no chance of keeping his demonic side restrained. His fangs lengthened and his claws dripped poison. 

"Ah, Sesshoumaru," the dragon wheezed. "A bit late to the party, aren't you?"

"I followed your stench, you fetid scum." Sesshoumaru tracked the demon as it rose to its feet and tucked its foul appendages away. "You are the abomination responsible for ending the lives of my vassal and pack dragon."

The dragon gave a rasping laugh. "You should really learn not to leave your pack unprotected, foolish inu."

Inuyasha flinched. "A-aniki…."

Sesshoumaru waved him down, a gesture of forgiveness and understanding. "I know. Stay back, otouto. You are not strong enough to fight this abomination. Not now."

That Inuyasha conceded without a fight told Sesshoumaru just how miserable and terrified he truly was. 

"Come." Sesshoumaru nodded to the cave mouth. "Outside, foul beast."

The dragon laughed again. "No, no. I don't think I want to give this tasty morsel any chance to esc—"

A slash of Tessaiga against the demon's legs cut through one ankle and reminded the bastard that Inuyasha was not helpless.

"Fuck off, you ugly piece of shit!"

"You little—" The demon lunged for Inuyasha, but Sesshomaru caught him by the neck and hurled him bodily out of the cave. 

"Aniki…."

"I am here, Inuyasha. I am here." 

Sesshoumaru paused just long enough to give his omega a lick on the cheek, then flew after the demon who had destroyed half his pack, countless unknown youths, and damn near destroyed his brother, too.

* * *

Inuyasha watched the battle from the mouth of the cave. White fur, vicious claws, and poison against burnished scales, poison claws, and fire. Flashed of white and red, moving so quickly, even Inuyasha could barely track them. A swipe here, a bite there, but neither foe gained ground.

Damn it! Sesshoumaru and this dragon bastard were too evenly matched. Whether in human or youkai form, they wrestled and slashed and bit, but neither gained anything from each round but more injuries. Both of them would be killed at this rate, and, while Inuyasha certainly wouldn't mourn the dragon bastard, he didn't think he could go on if he lost Sesshoumaru, too. 

Fuck. He had to do something, but _what_? Even in top form, that dragon would be a damn difficult foe. As he was now, challenging him was suicide.

But what reason did he have to live on anyway if that bastard took the last of his pack away? Sesshoumaru was the only reason Inuyasha had survived at all. Without him, he—

A great blast of orange and red turned the demolished clearing the color of blood, and Inuyasha couldn't breathe. A sharp yelp cut the air, Sesshoumaru's pained cry, and Inuyasha's heart stuttered.

" _Sesshoumaru_!" There was no reply.

No. _No_! He couldn't lose his aniki, too. He had lost _everything_ , everyone, and Sesshoumaru was supposed to be unbeatable, damn it!

But Inuyasha had defeated him before, hadn't he? Sesshoumaru, too, had said he wasn't invincible, and this monster was just as strong as his oniisan.

Inuyasha called, "Sesshoumaru, come on! You can beat that bast—"

Another flash of orange burned his eyes, another yelp and pained whine sliced through his eardrums and heart at once, and Inuyasha could bear no more. 

No. He had to help. Now, even if it meant his own death. He refused to stand by and let Sesshoumaru die on him, too.

"Aniki! I'm—I'm coming."

He clutched Tessaiga in his trembling fist, ignored the protests of his weakened body and his injured back, and bolted into the fray from downwind.

A ring of fire surrounded the clearing, and in the center of a blackened crater of destroyed earth, the two daiyoukai fought a vicious battle to the death.

A battle Sesshoumaru was losing. 

With a snarl, the dragon flipped the human form of Sesshoumaru onto his back and pinned him, sharp claws inching closer and closer to his throat. Sesshoumaru, beaten, bruised, bleeding, and burned all down his left side, hadn't the strength to push him off, but he tried with everything he had left. A vicious slam against the dragon's shoulder threw him back a few feet. It wouldn't last—Sesshoumaru hadn't the strength left to keep him off—but it was enough to give Inuyasha the chance he needed.

With great care to ensure Sesshoumaru would not also be caught in the blast, he aimed his sword at the dragon above his brother, slammed what little strength he had left into his youki, and screamed into the wind. 

" _Kaze no kizu_!"

The attack ripped the dragon off of his brother, sent him crashing into the bluff and pelted him with a thousand blades of wind and falling debris. It wouldn't kill the bastard, but it might give Sesshoumaru a chance to rally, and it had wiped out the fire, too.

Sesshoumaru gasped, "O-otouto…."

With the dragon downed for the moment, Inuyasha darted to his brother. "Aniki, I'm here. What do I do? How do I save you?"

"Must… accept… alpha. Tongue on throat. Then, your instincts can… help me… heal."

Inuyasha breathed in sharply. He had to submit his life, his trust to Sesshoumaru to heal him? He had to give up his choice? After all this time, after all the battles he had fought to stay free, _this_ was how it all ended?

Was it a trick? Would Sesshoumaru claim Inuyasha as soon as he healed?

Sesshoumaru held Inuyasha's cheek, eyes welling over and terrible resignation in their golden depths. He knew. He knew Inuyasha wouldn't submit.

"Otouto, run. Run now. I will… use what is left of my strength… to buy you time. Run."

Inuyasha choked back a whine. No. This wasn't _right_. Sesshoumaru was giving up everything, even his life, to save Inuyasha, and even in heat, Inuyasha couldn't bear—wait. 

_In heat?_

Shit! He was still in heat! Inuyasha's cycle hadn't ended simply because they were in danger. His pheromones must be choking Sesshoumaru this close.

_And he still gave Inuyasha a choice._

That changed everything.

Inuyasha cupped Sesshoumaru's face. "I'm so sorry, aniki. I never should have doubted you."

He kissed Sesshoumaru's crescent marking, then dropped and lapped Sesshoumaru's throat. A few soft strokes, a quick brush against his chin, all he had time for. On instinct or out of love, he had no idea which, Inuyasha licked Sesshoumaru's parted lips once, a touch meant to soothe his fears and tell him _'Yes, I choose you.'_

Sesshoumaru shivered and closed his eyes. "Inuyasha-kun…."

"I'm right here. Be still. I'll take care of you, aniki." 

After one last kiss, he set about trying to heal the worst of his brother's wounds as best as he could. Was it omega saliva that healed or inu? Sesshoumaru had never been able to lick his wounds better, not that he had tried until recently, but the daiyoukai was certainly healing under Inuyasha's touch. Maybe only Sesshoumaru's omega had the ability to heal his alpha.

Inuyasha could live with that, now that he finally understood there was at least one alpha in the world who put his omega's choice before his own.

Kami, Inuyasha hated the taste of his oniisan's pain, but he didn't stop. Couldn't stop. Sesshoumaru needed him. 

A gentle hand stroked his ears. "Otouto, it's enough." Sesshoumaru sat and kissed Inuyasha's forehead. "Arigatou."

Inuyasha nudged his head under his brother's chin. "Are you okay?"

"No, but I will survive the day now. Go. Get to Tessaiga before your youkai breaks or that monster escapes."

Inuyasha hesitated just long enough to lick Sesshoumaru's cheek, then ran for his sword and took position nearby. Damned if he would let his oniisan fight this monster alone. 

The dragon finally dragged his bleeding body from the rubble just as Inuyasha made it to the sword. 

"I see I underestimated you, hanyou. A foolish mistake I won't repeat."

The dragon leapt for Inuyasha, but Sesshoumaru blocked him with Bakusaiga, and another fierce battle of claws, fire, fangs, and swords began. Inuyasha helped this time, slashing and cutting where he could without endangering Sesshoumaru, and clawing and kicking when he couldn't. With both daiyoukai injured, it was enough to give the inu an edge.

"Enough!"

Sesshoumaru heaved the dragon off of him and threw him into a tree. The asshole's head hit the trunk, dazing him, and both brothers snapped into action. Inuyasha slammed Tessaiga through his neck, and Sesshoumaru stabbed Bakusaiga straight through his heart, and that was it. The dragon wouldn't regenerate from those wounds.

With a gurgle and a great splash of crimson, the dragon prince met his end. Jaken, Ah-Un, and countless innocents were avenged thanks to Sesshoumaru's bravery and sacrifice and Inuyasha's trust, late as it was. 

Thank the Kami.

Sesshoumaru groaned and sank to his knees. "Otouto…."

Inuyasha could hardly stand, but he heaved Sesshoumaru up and braced his weight against his shoulders anyway. Like hell would he stay out here where the smell of blood and heat would draw every passing alpha to come finish them off.

"I've got you, aniki. Hold on."

He removed both of their swords from the demon's corpse and wiped them as well as he could on the dragon's hakama. Sesshoumaru took his sword with a grunt and leaned on Inuyasha, nearly unconscious. 

Inuyasha grabbed Sesshoumaru's waist, made sure the daiyoukai put his sword away, and carried his brother into the trees. A few careful leaps had them safely ensconced in the cave again, and Inuyasha staggered to the spring. He laid his unconscious brother by the water and stroked his cheek. 

"I should have trusted you better."

He washed the blood from Sesshoumaru's face and hands and removed his ruined suikan. Rinsing it in the spring was the best he could do for now. He would wash it later, when their strength returned. After washing his own face and hands, he crawled back to Sesshoumaru and flopped down beside him.

"Thank the Kami you're okay." Inuyasha buried a few tears in Sesshoumaru's shoulder. "Oh, gods. I thought I would lose you."

Sesshoumaru muttered his name, and Inuyasha sat up, relieved to hear his voice even if the daiyoukai was still unconscious. He rubbed along Sesshoumaru's cheek markings and smiled faintly when his touch elicited a purr from his oniisan. "Yeah, it's just me, aniki. You're safe now."

Inuyasha looked to the mouth of the cave, still open to the sunlight. "Well, almost."

With feet heavy as stone, he dragged himself to the entryway, pulled the screen closed, and staggered back to Sesshoumaru's side. 

"No more stupid untrusting hanyou." With a groan, he slumped over Sesshoumaru's chest and succumbed to his exhaustion.


	12. Open Trust

#  **Chapter 12**

##  _Open Trust_

Sesshoumaru woke with a warm weight on his chest, pain throughout his body, and a scent more enticing than he could bear in his nostrils. Inuyasha. The boy was curled up against his chest, unconscious and shaking. His skin burned to touch and his breath came in harsh pants. 

Kami, the hanyou was in agony. Sesshoumaru wished, so much, Inuyasha would let him ease him, even just to relieve his pain, but Inuyasha had begged him not to. 

Sesshoumaru's fangs threatened to lengthen, a stress response to pain, the presence of youkai blood beyond the cave, and the proximity of an unwilling omega in heat.

"Inuyasha," he gritted out. "Otouto. Inuyasha, _wake up_!"

His sharp cry roused his brother at last, and Inuyasha jerked up with a miserable whine of pain. Sesshoumaru rubbed his cheek in comfort, all he trusted himself to touch. "Inuyasha, you need to… move away. It is… difficult to control myself… so close."

Inuyasha whimpered and curled into a fetal position. "N-not sure I can. Hurts, aniki. Hurts so much."

Sesshoumaru couldn't help the whines in his throat. "I-I would ease you if you ask, but you have begged me to leave you untouched. Otouto, the spring. Can you crawl into the water? It will… reduce your scent. Ease your pain… a little."

Inuyasha looked up, tears on his lashes. "I should have trusted you better, aniki. I—kami, I'm an idiot."

Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's shoulder. "I forgave you… the minute you… accepted me as alpha. Please, Inuyasha. It is driving me mad."

Inuyasha hesitated. "A-aniki, if, if I asked you, would you… be gentle? I'm not—that hook-dick bastard—he damn near…."

"I know, Yasha-kun. I saw. It will haunt me for millennia, I fear."

Inuyasha whimpered. "Sesshoumaru, please. It hurts, and I was stupid not to trust you. Please."

Sesshoumaru caressed Inuyasha's cheek. "Are you asking me to help you through your heat?"

Inuyasha shuddered. "Y-yeah. Just, no marks. Please. I would rather… make that decision… in my right mind."

"As would I." Sesshoumaru made that strange purring sound. "Yasha-kun, come. I will take care of you."

Inuyasha lay on Sesshoumaru's chest, atop his fur, and nuzzled his chin. A series of soft laps to his throat sent chills through Sesshoumaru. A reaffirmation of Inuyasha's choice. He stroked Inuyasha's ears in approval.

Inuyasha kissed Sesshoumaru's chest above the collar of his kosode. "Aniki, can I take your clothes off? I want to see to your injuries first."

Sesshoumaru growled softly, a sound of pleasure. "You will make me feel every touch if you do."

Inuyasha gave him a tentative smile. "I know. It's okay. I trust you now, aniki. You've been nothing but honorable, even when I was an ass, and not just recently." 

He licked Sesshoumaru's open lips and dipped between them a little. Sesshoumaru chased his retreating tongue with his own, and panted as he met slick heat. Inuyasha sealed their mouths together, and Sesshoumaru pressed the hanyou's head closer. Heat and tension coiled in his groin, and he shifted to ease the pressure. Inuyasha panted and leaned back, pupils dilated and face flushed.

"Kami, I smell you. The heat in your blood. It's like—like…."

Sesshoumaru breathed, "Like?"

A wry expression crossed Inuyasha's face. "Like snow, believe it or not. Clean, new. Ironic, huh, Ice King? I thaw you out and you smell more like ice than ever."

Sesshoumaru hesitated. "I…."

"It's good, aniki. I like it. Just surprised me."

"Ah. Inuyasha, hurry and care for me. I cannot hold back much longer."

Inuyasha bit his lip. "Neither can I." 

He untied Sesshoumaru's obi and loosened the ties of his hakama. Sesshoumaru watched Inuyasha's trembling fingers open his kosode, too, revealing the pale skin and hard muscle underneath. He was a bit bruised and definitely sore, but his injuries had already healed for the most part.

"Oh." Inuyasha traced down the center line of Sesshoumaru's stomach, and Sesshoumaru panted at a sharp wave of heat. 

Inuyasha's eyes traced every millimeter of skin revealed. "Fuck, you're perfect."

Sesshoumaru couldn't help a little purr at that.

Inuyasha smirked. "Like that, do you?"

"Don't tease your alpha, otouto."

"Where's the fun in that?"

Sesshoumaru chuckled, relieved to see a return of Inuyasha's playful nature. 

Inuyasha guided Sesshoumaru's suikan sleeves off his arms and lifted his left hand to his lips. "I have a lot to make up to this arm, you know?"

Sesshoumaru could only watch, breathless, as Inuyasha licked and kissed his palm, down the underside of his wrist, and up the forearm. He bypassed his markings, kissing all the way up to the scar on his bicep, then down the other side.

By the time Inuyasha's tongue met the crimson stripes over his wrist, Sesshoumaru was already panting and quaking under his touch. 

The first brush of wet heat against that marked skin sent a jolt of heat and water through him. He couldn't help arching a little, though the resulting ache dulled his pleasure. Then, gentle fangs brushed the skin and firm suction pulled at the most sensitive part of his wrist, and Sesshoumaru moaned.

"Kami, that sound is pure heat," Inuyasha panted against his skin.

"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru said, voice unsteady, "stop teasing."

"Mm. Maybe this is more like it?" The hanyou dropped to suck the stripes on Sesshoumaru's hips instead, and Sesshoumaru bucked into him, careless of his aching muscles. Each kiss diminished the pain anyway. At a hard suck in the hollow of his hip, where the marking tapered toward his groin, Sesshoumaru cried out and clutched Inuyasha's head.

"Inu—Inuyasha, please."

Tentative fingers caressed between his legs, and a shockwave of fierce sensation sucked the breath from his lungs. Oh, yes, he was on fire.

Inuyasha watched his face and stroked him through his underwear, and Sesshoumaru's hips followed his touch. 

"Inuyasha," he panted, "that is… getting rather painful." Fundoshi were too damn tight for this.

Inuyasha winced. "My claws? I thought—"

"No. I am just too confined."

"Oh. Right." With a shiver, Inuyasha eased Sesshoumaru's hakama down his legs and unwrapped his fundoshi, leaving him mostly bare. Sesshoumaru slid his legs out of his hakama and watched Inuyasha's face as he took him in. Sesshoumaru had half-expected the boy to blanch at his size—a trait of alphas—but the boy only gave him a curious look and stroked him with a slow, firm palm. 

The thought that his little brother must have seen and endured far worse than this to have such a blasé reaction left him cold in spite of the fiery heat building in his groin.

Inuyasha looked up. "Aniki? Am I doing this wrong?"

Sesshoumaru panted at another firm stroke and reached up to cup Inuyasha's face. "I am only sorry for the past."

"Don't. If I think of it now, I'll freeze."

"Yes. Come here, Inuyasha. Let me ease your pain."

Inuyasha whimpered and let Sesshoumaru take him into a slow, deep kiss. The hanyou whined at teasing strokes of his tongue and whimpered at soft caresses of his ears.

Sesshoumaru leaned up and sucked the nearest ear tip into his mouth, and Inuyasha gave a strangled cry that shot straight to his core. 

"Please, please, aniki. Need help."

Sesshoumaru lifted Inuyasha up and opened his torn kosode. In a moment, he had the hanyou stripped and bared to his touch. The urgency of Inuyasha's need left Sesshoumaru's hands slick at the first caress between his omega's thighs.

Inuyasha whined sharply and pressed into his touch. "Ah, Kami, please."

Sesshoumaru eased his fingers away. "Inuyasha, my claws are lethal. I have only two ways to ease you. How—?" 

The hanyou cut off his question by pressing back onto his hard length. Sesshoumaru panted and pressed up until that liquid heat surrounded him. Inuyasha threw his head back and howled, this time in pleasure. 

"Gods, aniki. More."

Sesshoumaru eased the boy down and stilled, though it took all the control he had not to thrust up and take him hard. Inuyasha panted atop him a moment, body shaking and flushed. Sesshoumaru caressed his arms and kissed his hands in hopes to make this touch softer, so Inuyasha couldn't associate him with his brutal past. He traced the boy's cheek, his jaw, those adorable ears, anything to make him feel safe and loved. Welcome in his arms.

Anything to make him want to stay. 

Inuyasha lifted his hips a bit and rocked down, and Sesshoumaru groaned at the feel of his body wrapped around him. Gods, it was heaven. He slid one hand behind Inuyasha's head and eased him into slow kisses, both of the human and canine variety. 

Inuyasha panted above his lips. "Why—why does this feel—oh, Kami—more like making love—than easing me?"

Sesshoumaru kissed Inuyasha's forehead, down his nose and cheeks, and finally his lips. "This is—making love—for me."

Inuyasha stilled, breath hitching, eyes too bright. "A-aniki?"

"Do you not know? Have you not felt it when I hold you? I love you, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha whimpered. "Like—like your brother, or…?"

"If you would have me…."

"L-like a mate?"

Sesshoumaru nodded once, fearful this would be the moment he lost it all, but he had promised Inuyasha his honesty. And maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to drive the hanyou's hesitation away. Maybe it would break the barrier between them and finally heal the breach.

Kami, he hoped it would.

The scent of salt filled the air again, but this time, Inuyasha's bright eyes and fierce kisses relieved the familiar twist of pain in Sesshoumaru's chest. 

"Oh, gods, aniki." 

Inuyasha kissed him desperately, and Sesshoumaru's fears melted into a warm rush of relief.

"Sesshoumaru…."

The tone of Inuyasha's voice, low with want and rich with emotion, left Sesshoumaru breathless. Gods, how he loved this beautiful, brave, foolhardy, stubborn, wonderful hanyou. He had no idea when or how everything had changed for him. Perhaps their mutual reliance upon each other had driven him, or perhaps it was finally realizing the truth of his brother's strength and worth. Sesshoumaru didn't know. All he knew was he wanted Inuyasha with him forever, however he chose to be. 

He cupped Inuyasha's cheek and brushed tears away. "Inuyasha, stay. Stay with me. Whether you see me only as a friend, a lover, a brother, your alpha, or your mate, stay with me. I do not care what path you choose, only do not leave my side or bid me to leave you again."

Inuyasha nodded and kissed him hard. "I didn't know you were in love with me, aniki. This—oh, gods, yes—this changes everything."

Sesshoumaru stroked his cheek. "Tell me how when your—your heat ends. As you, I would—Kami, Inuyasha—prefer you to be in a rational state of mind when you make that decision."

Inuyasha gave him a bright smile. "Arigatou, aniki." He lifted up and slammed down hard, and Sesshoumaru gasped at the pressure, the heat. "Now make love to your omega like you mean it."

Sesshoumaru growled and grabbed Inuyasha's hips. The boy threw his head back, both in pleasure and submission, and Sesshoumaru barely held himself back from ravishing the boy with a daiyoukai's power. Instead, he lifted Inuyasha up and pushed him down, rocking with the motion. Inuyasha yelped and clutched at Sesshoumaru's shoulders, and Sesshoumaru didn't mind the slight burn of his claws. He rocked his lover faster and harder, riding the surge of desire and honest affection between them, until Inuyasha cried out and squeezed around him. The sight of his pleasure, the feel of his silk heat drove Sesshoumaru over the edge, too, and he came with a groan. 

Inuyasha dropped atop him, panting hard, and buried his face in Sesshoumaru's throat. 

" _Kami_ , that was good."

Sesshoumaru purred and stroked Inuyasha's hair, dropping soft kisses on his ears with every caress. 

"Aniki, will you stay with me until the heat ends?"

"And after, otouto. I will not leave you alone again."

"You didn't. You were here when I needed you most." Inuyasha nuzzled closer. "Sesshoumaru, I do feel it. I do—it was love for me, too. I was only scared, but I trust you now, aniki. Sorry I was such an idiot."

Sesshoumaru nuzzled his hair. "I am only relieved it is behind us now."

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."


	13. Last Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Putting up the final two chapters tonight because we have to move apartments, ASAP, and I don't know when I'll have time to update again after this.

#  **Chapter 13**

##  _Last Goodbyes_

Winter shifted into spring before Inuyasha noticed the changes in his body, in his own scent. He spent the first few weeks panicking and reliving the loss of his first three pups every night, but Sesshoumaru's quiet, strong nature kept him from losing control. By the time the sakura trees bloomed, Inuyasha thought he might be safe to hope. 

"Aniki, do you think it'll be okay?" He covered his belly with protective hands, terrified of the answer. 

Sesshoumaru kissed Inuyasha's forehead. "Hm. Midwinter to the spring solstice… that is twelve weeks. Yes, I think it has a strong chance. The first three months are always the most dangerous."

"I-I was seventeen weeks when I lost the first three."

Sesshoumaru pulled Inuyasha close against his heart. "There are many possibilities, my Yasha. Most likely, they were not formed of a compatible sire. The lower class youkai do not always breed true to begin with. Then there is the fact that higher family lines—close family lines—are stronger. As well, many breeds of youkai do not make viable young with inu youkai either way."

"I think their sire was a lizard youkai. Either that or a snake, but the lizard was the more powerful of the two. It's why I thought Hideki looked like my pups might have, if they'd lived."

Sesshoumaru winced. "Neither of those races are viable. None of the reptilian types are. In terms of procreation, we are limited to seeking mates among mammalian races, specifically: humans, hanyous, and canine and feline youkai."

Inuyasha's eyelids stung. "So my poor pups never had a chance then."

Sesshoumaru simply held him and licked his tears away, a habit of his when he wanted to ease Inuyasha's pain, but had no idea what to say. Inuyasha buried his face in his aniki's throat and fought back tears for the pups, children he had loved despite their horrific start and doomed lives. 

"I am here, otouto. If it eases your heart at all, our pup has every chance at survival. Their youki is powerful and their scent is strong. Too strong to be a single pup, I think. Either way, I believe it will be fine, provided you stay out of trouble for the next nine months."

Inuyasha whimpered. "Trouble finds _me_."

"Then it will find me as well."

"But—aniki, what if another daiyoukai…?"

"I think they will not be so hasty after we sent the dragon prince back in pieces and forced the dragon kingdom to release and compensate all his captives."

"Y-yeah, but what if the dragons try to retaliate?"

"They have none as strong as Hazuki was. And they will not retaliate, as Hazuki was killed in combat after trying to rape the inu prince and the omega of the western lord. He died in dishonor and they know this."

Inuyasha hesitated. "Aniki, I…."

"Yes?"

Inuyasha took a deep breath. "Could we go back to the Goshinboku village soon?"

Sesshoumaru's lips and eyebrows turned down a little, a sign of worry. "You wish to visit your mate?"

Inuyasha blinked hard. "My first mate, yes."

Sesshoumaru's eyebrows lifted and his lips parted slightly. The slight widening of his eyes shifted to bright wonder and the hint of a smile. "Inuyasha, are you offering?"

Inuyasha nuzzled Sesshoumaru's throat. "Not yet, but I don't want you scared. I just—I need to see it one last time first. I need to talk to her one last time."

Sesshoumaru kissed Inuyasha's ears. "I would not deny you time to mourn your first mate and speak to her spirit whether we are mated or not. She was faithful and devoted to you her entire life. Such love should be honoured well, even after it is gone from the world."

Inuyasha blamed a fresh wave of tears on the hormones. He dragged Sesshoumaru down and kissed him with fiery passion. Sesshoumaru moaned into his mouth and hauled Inuyasha up to wrap his legs around the daiyoukai's waist. 

Inuyasha leaned back and held Sesshoumaru's face. "I love you. And, yes. Yes, I'll be your mate, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru crashed their mouths together and delved between Inuyasha's lips. The hanyou tipped his chin back in a display of submission and desire, and Sesshoumaru growled against his skin. A gentle nip against his neck, not hard enough to break the skin, confirmed Inuyasha as Sesshoumaru's choice of mate. It was a promise rather than a bond, but Inuyasha's entire soul glowed with joy at the touch anyway. 

With a lick to Sesshoumaru's chin, Inuyasha asked permission to promise him as well, and his alpha bared his throat with a happy rumble. Inuyasha kissed up and down the side of his alpha's throat before nipping gently over Sesshoumaru's pulse point. The alpha gave a soft, breathless murmur of Inuyasha's name, then dragged him back into another passionate kiss.

"Inuyasha, may I make love to you? Not for your heat, not for procreation, but to love you."

Inuyasha grinned. "Been waiting on ya to ask me for about two and a half months, dummy."

Sesshoumaru snorted. "You might have just asked _me_ , silly hanyou. I did not feel comfortable until you gave me some sign that you wanted me in a deeper manner."

"Oh, I definitely want you deeper."

Sesshoumaru growled and lay Inuyasha down among the sakura trees. He made love to him slowly, with all the tenderness and passion they hadn't had time for during heat, and Inuyasha thought he had landed in heaven somehow. Watching his fiancé fall apart in his arms, expression open and warm in his ecstasy, had to be a little piece of it at least. The sight of Sesshoumaru haloed by clouds of soft pink against a backdrop of brilliant vermillion and gold and dusk, his eyes brighter than the sun, would stand out in his memory like a shining star for years to come.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful, aniki. It's not bloody fair."

Sesshoumaru gave a rare burst of breathless laughter. "You are beautiful too, my Yasha. I think making love to you on a blanket of sakura petals will be my favorite memory for quite some time."

Inuyasha smiled up at his fiancé and turned him onto his back. "You could always let me make love to you on them and see if that doesn't top it."

Sesshoumaru hesitated. "My body does not work like yours, Yasha-kun. You would have to be very careful."

Inuyasha gaped. "Wait, wait. I meant riding you. You'd actually let me top?"

"Perhaps not yet. Our hands have _claws_ , otouto. We would need to devise a way to ready me without tearing me."

Inuyasha flushed crimson. "Ah. Actually, I might still have the things Kagome used on me during my heats. Smooth river stone—" He gave an embarrassed cough. "Well, dicks. They… progressed in size."

Sesshoumaru stared up at him. "Your wife used stone phalli on you during your heats?"

Inuyasha squirmed. "Well, she didn't like seeing me in pain, so that was our option. She used, um, her hands sometimes, too. And not always during heats."

"Hm. I underestimated her. Well then, we shall make a trip to the village tomorrow and see if your _toys_ are still in your hut."

Inuyasha grinned. "Eager?"

"Interested."

"Good enough. For now, do you want me to ride you on the sakura blossoms until you forget your own name, aniki?"

Sesshoumaru dragged him down into a deep kiss.

* * *

They reached the village a week later. As promised, Inuyasha's toys were still all accounted for and in working order. Sesshoumaru had examined them at length and decided they would do as long as Inuyasha was gentle and lubricated them well. Inuyasha had plans for them later. For the moment, he wanted to sit by his wife's grave and reassure her spirit.

"Hey, Kagome." Inuyasha glanced to the form of his aniki, who was fishing nearby, and smiled to himself. "You know, Miroku was right. Sesshoumaru is too damn beautiful to be allowed."

He imagined her expression at that statement and laughed softly. 

"It's true though. He really is beautiful. And over the past year, I've come to realize it goes deeper than his skin." He sighed and leaned back on his hands. "I had a lot of opportunity to think this year at midwinter, and things came into perspective. I didn't realize it, but Sesshoumaru has been trying to heal the breach between us since before Sou'unga. He just didn't know how, and I wasn't ready to listen until I broke."

He shuddered and closed his eyes. "He saved my life twice this year. Once from a daiyoukai that tried to rape me during my heat—though I had to save his life too before we could kill the evil bastard—and once… from my own hand. I was broken without you, Kagome. Without my pack. I had nowhere to go, no one left but Sesshoumaru. And Sesshoumaru has no one left now but me. It's partly why he never leaves my side for long. Even now, he's here, looking for a midnight snack in the stream. That would be my fault—cravings are really a bitch."

Inuyasha rubbed his stomach with a soft smile. "It turns out that's why we couldn't have kids, Kagome. I can carry pups, but I can't father them. No omega can. Still, I'm looking forward to this one. Well, if it _is_ one. Sesshoumaru isn't sure. It's still early to tell, but he thinks the power level is too high for just one."

Inuyasha gave a wry chuckle. "Yes, you heard me right. I'm pregnant. And they're aniki's. Apparently, demons are the opposite of humans in that it's healthier for the pups to keep family lines close. Not _too_ close, but much closer than humans. So the fact that we're half-brothers is actually good for the pups rather than otherwise." He shook his head and huffed. "Well, it's all a little weird to me, but it does seem to hold true. Apparently Sesshoumaru's hahaue is our chichue's cousin somewhere down the line, and _he_ certainly doesn't lack anything in power, health, intelligence, or looks. Or anything else for that matter." Inuyasha scowled. "It ain't fair, Kagome."

He could practically hear her laughing. With a grin, he leaned on his knees and went on. 

"He's taking good care of us. Me and the pup. He's a damn caring alpha, believe it or not. I don't know what all changed him, unless it was us, you know? We had our spats, but we all loved each other, and seeing it so often had to rub off on him, I guess. And Rin. She thawed him out, too. 

"Whatever it was, you wouldn't believe the changes in him. He's positively affectionate now, Kagome. He still doesn't reveal his emotions easily, but being near him the past year, I've learned to read him better. He _does_ have a heart, he just doesn't open himself to anyone he can't trust absolutely. He has for me though. He adores me. And—and I adore him."

Tears welled in his eyes, and he gave a wry laugh. "Stupid hormones. How do you women live with this shit every damn month?" 

He could almost see her smirk. _"About time you admitted it!"_

With a soft chuckle, he wiped his eyes and rubbed the grass over her grave. "I would've been happy to love you forever, Kagome, but—well, if you had lived that long, _he_ wouldn't have ever been loved again. Maybe he would have found someone eventually, but I don't think he could have opened himself to an outsider like he has to me. And I—well, you know that wound never healed. I loved him even when I hated him, Kagome. I _need_ him. I always have. So, I never would have been whole either."

More tears fell, and he didn't blame them on the hormones this time. "Do you know he admires you? I was afraid when I agreed to be his mate he would forbid me from ever talking and visiting you again, but he did the exact opposite. He told me you had loved me your entire life and gave your entire heart to me, and that kind of love should be honoured, even when it's not here anymore. It is though. I still love you, and I always will, but it's time for me to make a new family now. I—I know you'd understand. 

"I hope you can be happy for us, love. I hope knowing I'm okay now, that I'm happy again and finally going home—I hope you can rest peacefully now. We're all going to be okay. You don't have to worry about me anymore. Not you, not Sango, and not Miroku. So—so, just stop moping around and be happy on the other side, all right? I'm fine now. Shippou's fine, too. And so is Sesshoumaru. Honestly. I miss you, and I always will, but Sesshoumaru makes me happy. We're gonna be okay."

He sniffled and wiped his face. "I'm gonna try to go to the slayer village and tell Miroku and Sango about him and the pup, but in case it's too dangerous now, will you tell them I'm okay? Tell them about Sesshoumaru and our pups, and thank them for loving me so well for me. Thank you, too. I know you've been watching over me, but Sesshoumaru takes good care of me, so you can rest now. I love you, and sleep well. Sayounara, seishitsu." 

He bowed to her in a formal goodbye, then pressed a kiss to his palm and touched the earth. "Be at peace, my love."

With that, he stood, wiped his eyes, and walked to Sesshoumaru's side. The daiyoukai greeted him with a kiss to his forehead and a canine kiss to his lips. 

"Are you well?"

"Yeah." Inuyasha licked and kissed Sesshoumaru's jaw, then his lips. "It's always a bit painful to talk to her spirit, but I'm okay."

Sesshoumaru nuzzled his ears. "Hn. I am relieved to hear it. I have caught several good fish. Are you ready to eat?"

"Yeah. Can we try to visit Miroku and Sango after this? I don't think it's safe to keep going in the future, but I want to let them know I'm okay one last time."

Sesshoumaru stared at his fiancé. "You wish to enter the slayer village? When none of them remember you?"

"Miroku and Sango _did_ make a point to tell the slayers never to harm the inu hanyou who visits from time to time. They remember that."

"Hn. Perhaps, but they have no reason to honor it now. And you are carrying our pups."

Inuyasha's ears lowered. "You think it's not safe?"

Sesshoumaru sighed. "We shall go on the night of the new moon when your appearance and aura will not threaten them. I will stay out of sight nearby and guard you."

"They'll sense your youki, shujin. Hard to miss, honestly."

"I can suppress it. Most daiyoukai can."

"Oh. No wonder you could sneak up on me in the past. I'm lucky you never _really_ wanted to kill me."

Sesshoumaru winced. 

"Shujin, it's okay. It's over now. We're past all that, and I'm happy with you."

Soft lips brushed Inuyasha's forehead. "Arigatou." Sesshoumaru hugged Inuyasha tight, wet clothes and all. "I love you."

"Hey! I love you, too, but now I'm all _wet_. Let go, you big jerk."

Sesshoumaru chuckled into Inuyasha's hair and hugged him tighter. Inuyasha didn't struggle long.

"Let's go to my hut, shujin. We can hang our clothes by the fire to dry and cook the fish there, then leave in the morning."

"Hn. Very well." 

Sesshoumaru gathered his catch and led Inuyasha to the hut. It felt a bit strange to bring his second mate into the home Inuyasha had shared with his first, but he sensed Kagome's love and welcome somehow, or maybe he only hoped he did. Either way, he knew she would understand. She had always placed his health and happiness before her own.

"Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru hung the fish over the fire, though he kept a few raw back for himself. "Your first mate, do you suppose she would be happy to share a life with us if she could?"

Inuyasha cocked his head. "That's—not a question I had ever expected you to ask, shujin. Haven't thought about it either." He sat cross-legged by the hearth and considered it. "Hm. Maybe. I think as long as she knew I wasn't choosing you _over_ her, but rather sharing my life with both of you and loving you equally, I think she would have been happy. She could have had pups to raise that way, and it always hurt that we never could. We raised Shippou, of course, but she wanted more. Why do you ask?"

"No being is truly immortal. You and I, for all our ageless lifespans, will meet death one day. I was thinking of the life beyond, when you will have two mates who loved you. I did not wish to hurt her when she loved you so well."

Inuyasha blinked hard and laughed at himself. "Damn it, shujin. I just _stopped_ crying."

Sesshoumaru chuckled and settled beside Inuyasha. "It pleases you then?"

"Gods, yes. That's a beautiful thought, all of us living as a family on the other side."

Sesshoumaru nodded and held Inuyasha closer. "Then you will be hahaue to the pups. I am chichiue. And Kagome is okaasan. Do you think that would please her?"

Inuyasha wasn't going to cry _again_ , damn it. These ridiculous hormones. Well, and Sesshoumaru's devotion. Gods. He never would have dreamed the daiyoukai could love him like this back in the days where every meeting ended in bloodshed.

They had really come a long way.

"Y-yeah, shujin. I think she would love that."

Sesshoumaru smiled the way he only did with Inuyasha. "Then it is settled."

Inuyasha curled up against his alpha's side and knew he had fallen in love all over again.

* * *

Sesshoumaru watched from the shadows as Inuyasha, human for this one, short night, bid his friends farewell. They could not risk another trip, so this would be the final time Inuyasha could visit his friends' spirits, at least in this manner. Perhaps Sesshoumaru should make a shrine for him, a private one safe for Inuyasha to use. At least then he wouldn't need to risk the humans' ire just to say hello to those he had loved and lost. 

Hm. Loved and lost. Inuyasha must be missing his kit, too. Perhaps the wolf leader as well, though Kouga had never been as close to Inuyasha as the others. Too much rivalry for that. Still, with Kouga happily mated to Ayame and with Kagome no longer present to drive them apart, perhaps they might meet on friendlier ground these days. 

Well, he would ask first about Kouga, given the possibility for resentment, but surely Inuyasha wouldn't mind seeing his kit again.

Inuyasha stood and bowed to the graves, and Sesshoumaru pushed his thoughts of the future aside in favor of making sure they both made it away from the village safely. He joined Inuyasha outside the gates, scooped him up, and flew them out of range of the slayers as fast as he could. He didn't feel safe to speak again until the village faded beyond the horizon, hidden by trees and mountains alike. He set them down again on the other side of the range and took Inuyasha's hand.

"Did you say everything that needed to be said?"

Inuyasha gave him a bright grin. "Almost."

"Almost?"

The hanyou's smile softened. "Yeah. There's one more thing. Shujin, let's go home."

Sesshoumaru stilled. "Home?"

"Yeah. To your kingdom. Somewhere we can raise our pups in safety." He hesitated. "Only, will _I_ be safe there? A hanyou?"

"The royal prince consort and the lord's mate?" Sesshoumaru kissed his lover's temple. "I will ensure you are welcomed, Inuyasha, and any fool who dares otherwise will not _need_ the lesson I will swiftly impart because _you_ are quite likely to beat it into their skulls long before I have the chance."

Inuyasha grinned. "Damn straight." He rested his head against Sesshoumaru's chest. "Home then, shujin?"

Sesshoumaru laced his fingers with his fiancé's and turned their steps to the west. "Home, my Yasha."


	14. Epilogue: Return of the Ice King

#  Epilogue: 

##  _Return of the Ice King_

Inuyasha bounced the royal princess on one leg and the royal prince on the other. Princess Mitsuki and Prince Mikiyoi babbled and tugged at Inuyasha's hair, but he had long-since grown inured to being tugged, kicked, clawed, and chomped on occasion. The little brats didn't mean any harm, and their milk teeth and baby claws had no venom at least—thank the Kami for that. Inuyasha would've loved them even if they could have hurt him, though. Sesshoumaru, too. 

They had been born just before midwinter two years ago, a couple of weeks early, but Sesshoumaru had said twins and triplets often came sooner than single pups. Mitsuki had come first, with her huge golden eyes, the moon clan purple crescent on her forehead, and two violet stripes on each cheek reminiscent of Inuyasha's youkai form. Mikiyoi had the same crescent and eyes, but his markings resembled his father's. 

Both pups were full youkai, but with Inuyasha's ears. It worried Inuyasha for them, but so far, none of the royal court had dared challenge them, not even Sesshoumaru's bitch of a mother. Having grandkids to spoil had lightened her up considerably anyway, even if neither of the pups' parents trusted her with them alone.

Even so, the kingdom of the moon clan had become home, and while life wasn't perfect, Inuyasha was happy here. 

Who would have thought?

A messenger came just then and handed a scroll to Inuyasha. "An urgent message from Lord Sesshoumaru, Lord Prince."

Inuyasha thanked the messenger, set his pups on the grass, and opened the scroll.

> _"My love, please come to the reception room immediately with the pups. No need to worry about formal dress. There is someone here to meet you."_

Inuyasha groaned in irritation, but grabbed his pups up anyway and headed for the castle. He would have preferred to let the twins toddle about the garden on a bright summer day like this, but Sesshoumaru wouldn't have interrupted him without a good reason. Inuyasha still scowled all the way there. Meeting foreign dignitaries and such was Sesshoumaru's thing, not his. Of course, he tried to fulfill the role of the Prince Consort when propriety required it, but he didn't have to like it.

Still, he gritted his teeth and obeyed his alpha, not out of fear of punishment—his mate was surprisingly gentle as a dominant—but because he didn't want to embarrass Sesshoumaru. The Lord of the West treated Inuyasha like a king. The least Inuyasha could do was suck it up and deal with the stuck-up nobles from time to time.

No, Inuyasha had no desire to embarrass his mate, but Sesshoumaru would get an earful for surprising him with this visit later anyway. Inuyasha still preferred his fire rat robe, and his pups preferred their play yukata to fancy kimono, but he would have dressed them all properly had he been given the time. As it was, they would be meeting whatever noble had come this time in their day clothes. Mikiyoi had a grass stain on his knee, too. 

Couldn't be helped. Sesshoumaru had said to come immediately and not bother with formal attire, but Inuyasha couldn't help but feel underdressed for the occasion, especially when Sesshoumaru appeared in his full royal suikan. 

The daiyoukai chuckled at Inuyasha's disgruntled expression and kissed his ears. "You will forgive me in a moment."

"Keh. Arrogant ass."

Sesshoumaru responded with a nuzzle and a light nip to the mating mark on Inuyasha's throat, and the hanyou's irritation eased. 

"Yeah, yeah, I love you, too, shujin. But next time give me some advance warning before you show me off to some snooty noble."

Sesshoumaru kissed his pups' heads and came up smirking. "Who said I brought you to meet a noble?"

Inuyasha frowned. "It's not?"

"Well, technically, I suppose he counts as an inu prince, but as he is not actually an inu, no, he is not an official noble."

"But Mikiyoi and I are the only inu princes."

"I _did_ say he is not an inu."

"But how can he be an inu prince without being inu?"

Sesshoumaru gave him his soft, quiet smile. "As an inu prince adopted him, the honorary title transfers. Even to kitsune kits."

"K-kitsune?" Inuyasha's heart thumped. " _Shippou_!" 

Sesshoumaru relieved him of the pups. "Go on, my Yasha."

Inuyasha kissed him hard. "Forgiven!" He dashed into the reception room to the sound of Sesshomaru's rumbling laughter and his pups' giggles and squeals. Shippou, now a fully-grown kitsune working on his fourth tail, stood by the windows, mouth wide open in shock. 

"Kami, Otosan! Did I just hear the ice king himself _laughing_?"

Inuyasha grabbed the boy into a hug and kissed his cheek. "You did. He's a lot less uptight now he's gotten in my hakama."

" _Otousan_! Are you _trying_ to scar me for life?"

Inuyasha laughed through tears and just held his kit, the last legacy of his first pack, the first child he had raised, even if he hadn't always done such a great job. 

"I'm so glad you came home, Shippou. I've missed you."

Shippou pulled back with his eyes wet. "You've changed a lot, Otosan. You're much gentler than you used to be."

"I don't need to fight off the world any longer. I have a home and a place to be safe."

"And an alpha to guard you and your pups, hm?"

"Exactly. Speaking of, where are your kits and this snow vixen mate you keep writing about? I want to meet them."

Shippou grinned. "Waiting just outside with Kirara. Come on, Otosan, Chichue. They're excited to meet their obaasan."

Inuyasha halted halfway to the door, a hot flush creeping up his face. " _Shippou_!" He whirled and glared at the kitsune. "Don't make me thump you. I let my pups get away with calling me Hahaue because I am, in fact, their mother, but I'm not a bloody woman!"

Sesshoumaru added in a calm voice that made Shippou freeze in place, "And when, precisely, did I give you permission to call me Chichiue?"

Shippou gulped. "Um… is this where I run like mad and hope those pups slow you down enough for me to make it out of the castle in one piece?"

Sesshoumaru's laughter broke the tension. "I am only teasing, musuko. Come. Let us introduce your kits to their obaasan."

Shippou snorted.

Inuyasha cried, " _Shujin_! Come on. _You know_ I ain't a woman!"

Sesshoumaru chuckled and kissed Inuyasha's temple. "Then you will be Sofu and I will be Ojiisan. Yes?"

Inuyasha huffed. "About damn time."

"Hn. I love you, too." 

"Ass," Inuyasha muttered without heat.

With an amused smirk, Sesshoumaru handed a giggling Mitsuki to her mother and led his mate and son out to meet the rest of their pack.

This one, thank the gods, would stay with them for a long, long time.


End file.
